Harley and Ivy
by weirdbard
Summary: The Joker decides that Harley's usefulness has come to an end and it is up to Ivy to help the young woman escape his clutches...By escaping to another dimension?
1. Chapter 1

Author's notes: This is a sequel to my story, Tenchi meets the Joker. You don't necessarily have to read the first story for this one to make sense but you might enjoy that one as well. This story will eventually get back to Tenchi and his world but not for a while. For a while we concentrate on Harley and Ivy.

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 1

Pamela Lillian Isley, better known as Poison Ivy, leaned against the glass wall of her cell in Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane.

Course she didn't think she was insane, criminally or otherwise. What was insane about targeting and plotting death for the rich corporate men who raped and pillaged Mother Earth for their own ill gotten ends?

She was sane. It was the rest of the world that had gone insane.

Poison Ivy didn't care much for men of any type really, corporate or otherwise. They were all only interested in one thing. Whether it was against women or against nature, they were only interested in getting their 'jollies' and then leaving the poor abused victims behind, to die or recover. They didn't really care which.

Speaking of which. Ivy looked over sadly at the empty cell across from the narrow hallway from hers. The cell that usually contained the bubbly and happy go lucky Harley Quinn.

Harley had escaped over a month ago with that maniac clown she blindly followed, The Joker.

"Why can't Harley see that the Joker is no good for her? I've seen the bruises she tries so desperately to hide." Ivy thought to herself with a sigh.

Poison Ivy had an extreme aversion to men and she didn't think much of women who sighed and played all girly girl to attract said men's attention. So why and how did she come to care so much for Harley Quinn?

She supposed it came from Harley's bubbly personality, her always great sense of humor and playfulness.

"And the fact she looks damn good in that skin tight outfit she always wears sure doesn't hurt." Ivy thought with a faint smile.

Not surprisingly with her hatred of men, Poison Ivy was a lesbian. Or it should be said she had leanings that way. She really hadn't had too many relationships with women or men. Mostly she preferred the company of plants over humans or animals. That is with the exception of Harley.

Ivy sighed again and angrily shook her head. It wouldn't do to let her mind wander again and start painting fantasies of her and Harley naked together in a jungle paradise. Harley Quinn just didn't 'swing' that way. Harley was hopelessly devoted to that sadistic clown Joker and wouldn't even consider a relationship with anyone else.

Ivy knew this from experience. The few times she had partnered up with Harley (for acts of crime and nothing more, much to Ivy's frustration) Ivy had flirted with Harley and the woman acted like she hadn't even noticed the attempts.

Ivy resisted the urge to bang her head against the bulletproof, shatterproof glass walls of her cell. Why couldn't she get Harley out of her head? Even with it being over a month, all Ivy could think of was whether Harley was okay or if that clown had finally killed her and she was lying in a ditch dead somewhere wrapped like a gift with a colorful ribbon bow wrapped around her body just waiting for the police to find her.

Ivy shook her head roughly. The mental image of a dead Harley with one of the Joker's gruesome smiles forever etched on her face plagued Ivy's nightmares and she didn't think she could stand it if she started thinking about it again.

Ivy wasn't even sure if the police found a deceased Harley if the guards and psychiatrists at Arkham would tell her. They tended to avoid mention of outside events if they thought it might 'upset' their patients. While Ivy was sure none knew of her obsession with Harley they at least knew she was friends with Harley and might decide to keep details like that from her.

"Oh Harley why can't you see that you would be better with me than that, that, male." Ivy whispered softly to herself.

Hearing the clicking of shoes on the cold white tiled floor of the hallway between the observation cells, Ivy tried to peer down the corridor without appearing too interested. It wasn't time for the meals, talks with the shrinks or recreation time and guards tended to avoid the 'gallery' at all other times.

Seeing a dark black shape moving down the center of the hallway Ivy pulled back from the glass wall slightly.

"Not him again. Wonder what he's doing here now?" Ivy thought to herself as she identified the black mass moving towards her as that of the Batman.

Ivy defiantly met the Dark Knight's eyes as he paused in front of her observation window for a moment. Ivy feared no man and least of all the costumed do-gooder that always captured her and brought her back to Arkham every time she escaped.

Batman seemed to study her for only a moment before stepping to the side to allow the guards that had been walking behind him to usher a smaller form forward.

A smaller, female form Ivy noted instantly.

"Harley!" Ivy shouted to her as she rushed back to the glass. Practically pressing her face against the glass to study her friend.

"Hi Red." Harley said softly and sadly. "I'm back. Again."

Ivy studied Harley as everyone waited for the guards to open the glass wall of her cell. The young blond woman was wearing the typical gray shirt and pants that marked one as an inmate of Arkham Asylum. Harley appeared depressed. Her pigtails hanging limply down and she stood with her eyes downcast and wouldn't even look up at Ivy.

Finally the guard managed the complicated lock on the cell and stood back for Harley to enter. The guards seemed to have the greatest of troubles with the locks and obstacles of Arkham, while the inmates seemed to always have the greatest of ease in overcoming them whenever they wanted.

As soon as Harley was in her cell and the door was firmly shut and locked, Batman gestured at someone at the far end of the corridor.

Ivy could hear once again the heavy click click of the heels of the guards and suddenly she heard a sound that stirred the deepest hatred of her soul. A high pitch giggle that after a moment broke into riotous laughter of The Joker.

"I just love what you have done with the place since I've been gone." The Joker's voice called out. "You painted the walls an even drabber shade of white and installed even more garish florescent lights, haven't you?"

Ivy breathed heavily to try and reign in her hatred of the Joker and noticed Batman's hands tightening into fists as well.

While Batman's obvious signs of dislike of the Joker it didn't make Ivy feel any more companionable to him, she was strangely reassured by the fact that someone else hated the Joker almost as much as she did. Looking over at Harley's cell she saw that Harley instead of racing to the glass wall to see her 'puddin' was actually pressed against the far wall of her cell. Standing as far away from the corridor as she could get. She was also rubbing her arms and as the sleeves of the Asylum shirt rose up, Ivy could see fresh new bruises covering Harley's arms.

The guards lead the Joker to where Ivy was standing in her cell. The Joker's maniacal eyes seemed to look through her completely as he glanced at her. He walked to the cell next to Harley's and waited. To Ivy's and Joker's surprise, the guards tugged at his arms to urge him to walk farther along.

"But my cell is always right next door to Harley gal's" The Joker barked at the guard.

"Not this time." Batman's deep voice suddenly spoke. "Miss Quinn has asked specifically that you be located away from her. She has also requested that you are to not come near here during recreation time or any other time for that matter."

Batman's steely eyes pierced the guard holding Joker's arm. "Is that understood? He is not to come near her at all."

The guard that looked like an ex-wrestler paled under the Batman's scrutiny. "Yes sir." He replied and tried to jerk the Joker away.

The Joker broke free from his grip momentarily and pushed himself up against the glass wall of Harley's cell. "This isn't over Harley! You have made me very angry and we are going to talk about this soon. Just wait and see! Soon we'll be laughing over this as if nothing has happened!" The Joker growled ominously at the quaking woman and then started laughing.

Batman stepping over grabbed Joker's arm and practically hurled him back into the guards grasp. "Get him away from here now." He growled at them.

Harley continued to huddle on the far back wall as the guards dragged the Joker away. She looked up after the Joker's laughter faded away.

"Thank you Batman." She finally said.

Batman nodded his head at her and then turning he strolled off in the direction the guards had taken the Joker.

Ivy looking across could see Harley was huddled on the floor near the foot of the drab coverless bed that was in her cell. Arkham learned from experience that it was better to pay extra to have the heat turned up enough that it was comfortable than to put bed clothes on the beds. Blankets could be used to strangle guards or even the inmates themselves. Even the pillows were bare and sewed permanently to the head of the beds to keep inmates from using them as weapons.

"Harley?" Ivy called out to her friend with rare compassion and concern in her voice.

"He hurt me this time Red. He hurt me badly." Harley said softly.

Ivy sighed and leaning on the glass wall she said. "What happened this time?"

"Well after we escaped this last time, things were pretty good for a while. You know? The typical avoiding the cops, hiding from the Batman. Robbing some electronic supply warehouses here and there."

"Why electronic supply stores?" Ivy interrupted Harley. "That's not like the Joker. He usually goes for the quick kill and chuckle."

"Mr. J. wanted to build a sonic weapon. One capable of killing everyone in Gotham at once with sound waves." Harley said finally lifting her eyes to look over at Ivy. "I panicked when I realized what the machine would do and tried to sabotage it. The damaged machine created some weird kind of hole to another world and me and Mr. J. got sucked into it."

Ivy felt her eyebrow rise. You hear a lot of strange things in Arkham but this one almost took the cake. Looking to her right she noticed the cell next to Harley had the Riddler in it and he was listening to Harley's story as rapt as she was. Ivy couldn't see the cells on either side of hers due to the drab white walls that divided the cells but she imagined that the Mad Hatter on one side and the Scarecrow on the other side was listening in as well.

Privacy was a extreme rarity in Arkham as well as entertainment.

"And just where did this proverbial 'rabbit hole' take you to if one may ask? Wonderland?" This of course was from the Mad Hatter.

Ivy frowned and would have yelled for him to shut up and mind his own business but Harley to her surprise answered him.

"It was almost a wonderland to me. It was a place of green fields, bright cheerful sunshine and clean pure air."

Ivy thought to herself that it almost sounded like a wonderland to her as well. Gotham was many things including home but it sure didn't have clean air or bright cheerful sunshine. An almost perpetual gloom hovered over the city. Like most big sprawling cities it was a victim of its own success and suffered from pollution and smog worse than most.

Harley after a pause continued. "We met some people there. Cheerful, friendly people and I started to unwind a bit. You know, really start to relax and feel comfortable."

"Let me guess. The Joker decided this would never do and started killing people?" This came from The Riddler. He wasn't a big fan of The Joker either but in his case it was more of a jealousy thing for all the press The Joker's crimes got over his.

Harley nodded her head but then said. "Well he didn't actually manage to kill anyone."

Ivy was surprised. Usually when The Joker decided he wanted someone to die. They died. "What stopped him?" She asked.

Harley looked over and gave a slight sheepish shrug. "I did. We met this really nice guy named Tenchi and once the Joker decided to kill him I couldn't let it happen so I defended Tenchi and kept Mr. J. busy until the Bats showed up to stop him."

"I thought you said you went to another world? How did Batman show up to rescue this young man if you were in another world?" The Mad Hatter said pointing out a flaw in Harley's story.

"He followed us through the hole we created. You think Bats would let a little thing like a strange new world to stop him from chasing Mr. J?"

Ivy and the Riddler both nodded their heads. It was true. The Batman would not let anything short of the end of the world stop him from chasing and capturing The Joker.

"Anyway, Batman brought us back to this world. Closed the hole to Tenchi's world and turned us over to the Gotham Police. You know how it works Red." Harley said to Ivy. "They never bring you straight back to Arkham. They always have to find a judge to sign a document stating that you are mentally incapable and to recommit you back to Arkham for observation and detainment."

Once again The Riddler nodded and Ivy suspected all the others in hearing range did the same. All of them had been through the system many times and it never changed. If you were lucky it only took an hour to find a judge to sign the necessary papers. But sometimes you might get stuck in a holding cell at Gotham Police Station for days or even weeks until they found a judge to sign the papers.

Harley winced as she pulled herself up to the bed and sat down on it. "The police put both me and Mr. J. in the same holding cell."

A whistle of sharply indrawn breath was heard. Ivy couldn't decide if it came from The Riddler or The Mad Hatter and frankly she didn't care. All she was worried about was what horrors the Joker had committed on Harley's body in the name of revenge for stopping him from killing someone.

"What did he do?" Ivy asked.

Harley didn't reply but buried her head in her arms and tried to pull even more into a fetal position at the foot of her bed.

The Joker regularly beat Harley. Everyone knew that. Even once, he had beaten her at Arkham so severely that she ended up in the infirmary for a month's time. It was right after Harley had been committed to the infirmary that someone had smuggled a carnivorous plant into the Joker's cell.

"Pity it had been such a small specimen and that it had nipped a guard's finger before the Joker had found it." Ivy thought to herself.

Harley didn't look too injured and the way she was acting, whatever the Joker had done to her this time was much worse than a simple beating. Ivy felt a cold chill run down her spine at the same time her blood began to boil.

"Harley! What did he do to you?" She asked again.

Harley didn't raise her head but Ivy could hear her whisper brokenly. "Please Pamela, just let it go. Don't make me tell you."

The use of Poison Ivy's real first name terrified her more than Harley's actions up to this point had. Harley never called her by her real name. She at different times had called her Red, Plant Lady and even a few times Pammy but never her real first name. Ivy with a sinking feeling in her stomach reached a conclusion.

"But you… Him… Everyone knows… I mean everyone assumed…" Ivy stuttered.

"That you and the Joker did the nasty all the time." The Riddler's voice called out.

If looks could have killed, The Riddler's funeral would have been the next morning.

"Shut up and mind your own business!" Ivy hissed in fury at him. "Unless you want to find a choker vine plant in your cell one night!"

"It's okay Pamela." Harley called out. "I should have known I couldn't keep this secret for long. There are no secrets here in Arkham. Sooner or later everyone knows your business. And to answer your statement Riddler, everyone is wrong. I have never had sex with Mr. J. before. I mean I wanted to, I would have, but he always said intimacy would blunt his edgy humor so he didn't."

"Then in the Gotham holding cell…?" Ivy trailed off not sure how to ask what had happened.

"He started to." Harley replied brokenly. "He ripped my costume off of me and used the scraps of cloth to tie my hands above my head to the cell bars. He said that I needed to learn who I belonged to. He then started to undo his trousers and…" Harley broke off and started to sob quietly for a moment. Finally she regained her composure and started again.

"The cheering and hooting petty criminals in the other cells alerted the guards and they rushed in. They stopped dead in their tracks and just watched! I was screaming and crying and begging Mr. J. to stop and the guards just watched! I'm not sure if they would have ever stopped the Joker but they didn't get a chance as Batman who had been outside evidently talking to Police Commissioner Gordon shoved past them. He knocked Mr. J. out with a well thrown batarang and cut me loose from the bars. He removed his cape and wrapped it over my body and helped me out of the cell to an interrogation room and stayed with me until they got a judge to sign for us to be transferred back to Arkham.

Ivy felt a rush of something that she had never experienced before. It was wave of gratitude to a man and of all things a man in a bat costume.

"Did the Joker…" Ivy paused as she was keenly aware that there were men listening in that had no business in knowing such intimate details of Harley's ordeal but Ivy had to know, Ivy needed to know but she couldn't bring herself to force Harley in saying it.

"Succeed in raping you?" Came the voice of the Scarecrow who up to this point had been silently listening. Ivy thought with a flash of anger that the bastard was probably getting off by listening to how terrified Harley was.

Harley was silent so long that Ivy feared she knew what the answer must be but then Harley whispered. "No. He was going to do it but Bats showed up in the nick of time."

"Then it is a rare and unusual occasion when we must thank the Dark Knight." Said the Mad Hatter.

Ivy looked over at the wall that separated her view of the Mad Hatter from her. She could see out of the corner of her eye that Harley looked up in surprise as well.

Evidently the Mad Hatter noticed it too.

"Dear lady. We maybe the scourge of the good people of Gotham, the castoff, hated and misunderstood rejects but we are not completely inhuman." The overly gentlemanly voice of the Mad Hatter stated. "I for one would hate to see anything happen to you to ruin your good natured sense of humor and fun. You are truly one of the few pleasant things in this dreary dark world of Arkham."

Ivy could see the Riddler nodding his head in agreement with the Mad Hatter.

Harley looked a little more relieved but then once again lowered her head onto her arms. "Thanks guys. That means a lot but we all know that once the Joker has a little 'joke' in mind nothing will stop him. I'm a dead woman or soon wish that I was. Nothing can stop Mr. J."

"We will protect you Harley." Ivy said pressing her hand to the glass of her cell.

"Quite right." The Mad Hatter replied. "Being a gentleman and a scholar I would never allow a damsel in distress. Of course if I am able to prevent it." He added.

Ivy frowned. It was well known that the Mad Hatter was a coward and would run from a fight if he could. Ivy looked across at the Riddler's cell. The Riddler just frowned. "It's not my fight. Harley has gotten herself into this conundrum. She'll have to extricate herself from it." He then turned and walked out of Ivy's sight toward his bed.

Ivy heard nothing from the Scarecrow's cell but then again she didn't expect to. The Scarecrow was almost as big a sadist as the Joker was. She knew there would be no help from his side.

"Everything will be all right." Ivy tried to comfort Harley.

Hearing the tell tale click of shoes on the walkway Ivy looked up and watched as the wrestler like guard that had escorted the Joker away walked by.

"Lights out in five minutes all you freaks." The guard said as he passed.

"Guard? Riddle me this. When is a door not a door?" Riddler called out.

The guard puzzled for just a moment and then quickly reaching out he checked the Riddler's cell door. "When it is ajar." The guard replied and was relieved when he found the Riddler's door was firmly closed and locked. "Ha ha funny man. You are almost as funny as the Joker. He's been telling some really dirty jokes." The guard backed up and leered at Harley. "Want to hear some of them?"

"Get the hell away from her you bastard!" Ivy hissed at him.

The guard strolled over to her cell. "Or what plant bitch? You going to try and get me fired? Who here is going to listen to you?"

Ivy shot him a look of pure hate but then slowly smiled. "Or I'll ask to talk to Batman and mention your harassing Harley"

The guard paled. He knew that the inmates of Arkham talked regularly to the shrinks. And if one of them was to say they had information to give to the Batman, he would be called immediately. The guard had no doubts how the Batman would take his 'innocent' irritation of Harley. The guard sneered at Ivy but quickly walked down the corridor and was gone.

"I need to get out of here." She heard the Riddler muttering to himself. "I am resorting to using riddles that require no more thought than a two year old could use."

"One wonders how the guard got it then." The Mad Hatter replied.

The lights in the 'gallery' suddenly dimmed to sleep levels. The lights were never completely turned off for who knew what mischief the inmates might get up to in total darkness but in consideration of their sleeping time the lights dimmed to about half their normal levels. Ivy could still see Harley in a ball near the foot of her bed in the dim light.

"Harley? Go to sleep. Things will be better in the morning. I promise." Ivy half whispered. Ivy didn't want to risk annoying the guards by talking after 'lights out'. There wasn't much they could do to her but Ivy didn't want to risk being put in solitary confinement when Harley needed her so badly. Ivy ached to put her arms around Harley and comfort the woman. Stroke her hair and make her fears and pain go away but needless to say Arkham wouldn't allow that.

Ivy was slightly relieved when she saw Harley pull herself up and lie down on the bed. She curled back up into a fetal position with her back towards Ivy but at least now she was up off the floor. Ivy However just slowly slid to a sitting position near the glass wall where she could keep an eye on Harley rather than go to her own bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes: Forgot disclaimers: I do not own any of the Batman characters. They are the property of their respective creators. I am merely borrowing them for the purpose of telling a tale. No profit is being made and no harm is meant.

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 2

Ivy slowly blinked and opened her eyes. The lighting in the 'Rogues Gallery' was slowly brightening, signaling the start of a new day in Arkham.

Just as certain flowers bloomed at first morning light so did Ivy always awaken when the lights came up in Arkham.

As her eyes began to focus, Ivy found her first sight of the day to be the same as her last sight the night before, namely Harley. Ivy was relieved to see that sometime in the night that Harley had relaxed out of her fetal position and was now lying flat on her back. The gentle rise and fall of Harley's breasts under the drab 'grays' of Arkham allowed Ivy to know that Harley was still in blissful slumber.

"All in all not an unpleasant view to awaken to." Ivy thought to herself with a faint smile. A smile that instantly vanished when she took her eyes off of the sleeping form of Harley and noticed a box sitting outside Harley's glass cell door.

It was a bright and gaily wrapped green box with a bright purple ribbon wrapped around it. The lid of the box was off and lying propped against the side of the box. It too had the purple ribbon on it with a large bow. Sticking up from inside the box was a white mannequin hand holding blackened dead roses. As Ivy watched, she could see white blobs crawling among the stems and dead rose buds. With a shock she realized they were maggots.

Ivy couldn't see any card with the package but it hardly needed one. It was obvious who it was from.

"The Joker must have bribed or terrorized a night guard into smuggling the grotesque package in and leaving it outside Harley's cell." Ivy thought to herself in disgust.

Looking back at Harley, Ivy was comforted by the fact that Harley was still asleep and hadn't seen the 'gift' yet.

Certain routines were varied constantly to keep the inmates from making plans or strategies but one thing was pretty constant in Arkham. Mornings always began with the lights coming up and within minutes someone would be by to do a headcount to make sure no one escaped in the night. Soon after that, their breakfasts would be served to them in their cells.

With any luck the headcount guard would arrive before Harley could awake and maybe Ivy could convince them to remove the package before it disturbed Harley.

As Ivy saw it there were only two reactions that Harley could have after seeing the package.

One: Harley would decide it was an attempt by the Joker to apologize to her and she might revert to her typical doormat personality and forgive that creep for what he had tried to do to her and be back to 'oh puddin' mentality.

That thought made Ivy sick to her stomach. Ivy was so close to breaking Harley's addiction to the Joker and getting her free forever from his slimy grasp. (And into Ivy's loving arms, she hoped)

The second option wasn't much better. Ivy feared that Harley would see the 'gift' as a warning and a threat from the Joker that there was no where in Arkham Harley could escape from him.

In which case the vulnerable Harley just might snap completely and withdraw into herself.

Neither option was one that Ivy wanted Harley to have to go through.

Hearing the sounds of footsteps nearing, Ivy pressed herself against the glass walls of her cell and tried to see down the corridor between the cells to see who it was. Most of the male guards weren't much better than the inmates they were suppose to be guarding. Some of them would be sadistic enough to awaken Harley just to see what her reaction would be to the box. There were a few decent males working in Arkham. Even Ivy had to admit that. Some that treated the inmates as humans instead of freaks. One of these Ivy had no doubt would remove the package before Harley could see it. The problem was there was no telling who was working this day. Arkham varied the guards' schedules constantly in an effort to keep the inmates from knowing who they would be dealing with each day.

There were of course a few females working as guards in Arkham. Arkham was a fair and equal opportunity employer but the women guards were never allowed to work the gallery. They were exclusively only for the shower and bathroom areas when Harley or Ivy needed to use them. So there was no help for Ivy there. And frankly some of the women guards were just as bad as the males. Ivy had suspicions that one of them was taking photos of her and Harley when they showered and selling them to the male guards.

Ivy still couldn't see who it was that was coming but she relaxed slightly when she heard someone softly whistling off tune. There was only one guard that did that. The inmates even called him Whistler for that reason. Guards wore no nametags and were forbidden from telling inmates their names. The reasoning was that it would be more difficult for the criminally insane inmates to form friendships or use their names to discover and threaten their families on the outside into helping them. It of course never worked. The Joker was an expert on learning personal details of guards and using it to threaten them into helping him. Ivy never used that method herself. She found it easier to use her female wiles and besides it never made sense to her to threaten something rather than just do it.

Adjusting her blouse open a little she waited for Whistler to reach her cell.

"Good morning Ms. Isley." Whistler greeted her. Another regulation of Arkham was the guards were never to use the inmates 'street names'. The shrinks figured this would enforce their psychoses so it was strictly forbidden. Most of the guards violated this rule constantly but Whistler was a strict by the books kind of guy. Still he never treated the inmates as sub humans and was always polite.

"I have a tiny little favor to ask of you." Ivy purred and posed so if Whistler was so inclined he could look down her blouse.

Whistler raised an eyebrow and didn't even try to look down her blouse. "Now Ms. Isley, you should know better than that. You can't seduce me into breaking the rules…"

"No it's nothing like that." Ivy replied sincerely. "It's that box over there." Ivy said pointing.

Whistler looked and stepped back a few steps as if there was a poisonous snake in the walkway.

"Remove it before Harley sees it please." Ivy continued.

"I can't do that. In cases like this the regulations say I have to call the hazardous squad to remove it. That thing is obviously from the Joker and who knows what might happen if I try to pick it up?"

Ivy in annoyance started to raise her voice but quieted down when she saw Harley shift in her sleep. "Look I know you have heard through the guard gossip what happened to Harley. Please get that thing away before she sees it."

Whistler looked at her in confusion. "I just arrived and went on duty Ms. Isley. I haven't talked to any of the other guards yet. What happened to Ms. Quinzelle?"

Ivy allowed a slight grin to come to her face. "You aren't supposed to tell us loonies your schedules. You violated the rules and you referred to Jack Napier as the Joker. Tell you what. You remove that box and I won't tell anyone that you broke the rules."

Whistler frowned. "First you try to seduce me and now you are using extortion?" He started to walk on.

"No wait! You are right. I'm sorry. Please either remove it or have someone do it before Harley wakes!"

Whistler paused. It wasn't like he was going to do anything wrong in any case. It was his duty to report unusual occurrences. Normally he would have waited till he reached the end of the corridor and done it but it wasn't a big deal to call it in and he generally liked Harley. He wouldn't turn his back on her however, but he still liked her.

Stepping to the middle of the walkway he pulled his walkie talkie and clicked it on.

Ivy couldn't hear very well since Whistler kept his mouth close to the device but she heard bits and pieces.

"Yeah, let me talk to …." Ivy couldn't make out the name since Whistler lowered his voice.

"Yeah it's me. I'm in the holding cells. I've got a strange package here beside Ms. Quinzelle's cell. Yeah I know you are technically not on duty and I should get one of the others but you know how the system works. It might take hours to get one of the others to remove it. Can't you just put on a crash suit and come do this for me? What? What does it look like? It looks like one of Napier's surprise packages. What? He did what to Harley?" Whistler was so shocked he slipped up and used her street name instead of her real name. "He did it in front of the crooks in the jail cell? The guards too? Oh my god! That poor woman. Come on, please? Do this as a favor for me? All right, all right. I will take one of your night rounds if you will rush down here and do this for me. Great. I'll be waiting here."

Whistler reattached the walkie talkie to his belt and stepped over near Ivy's cell once again.

"You heard what Joker did to her?" Ivy asked unnecessarily.

Whistler nodded his head grimly.

"Don't let her know you know. Okay?"

Whistler shot Ivy a look. "Of course I won't." He said offended and turning he leaned on the glass wall. "You do know that some of the other guards won't be so discrete though." He said over his shoulder to her.

"I know." Ivy replied sadly.

Hearing the heavy footfalls Ivy looked up as a man dressed in heavy body armor jogged up. It almost looked like an upholstered wall was heading towards them than a man. He even had a gas mask on and was carrying a heavy reinforced metal canister. Ivy nervously glanced over and saw that Harley was still asleep. Her ordeal the day before must have exhausted her physically and emotionally to sleep through the disposal guy's arrival.

Sitting the box down beside the 'gift' the man motioned Whistler back and reaching out with a long pair of tongs, gently lifted the box up in preparation to put it into the metal canister.

Hearing a sharp gasp, Ivy looked across the hallway and saw that Harley was wake and sitting on her bed and looking at the now held up gift package.

"Damn it Harley. All we needed was just a few more seconds." Ivy cursed under her breath. There was nothing to be done about it now. Harley had clearly seen it. Ivy watched to see what her reaction to it was going to be.

Harley jumped up on her bed and pressed herself backwards into the corner all the while staring at the grotesque present. On her face was a look of pure terror.

On the one hand, Ivy was pleased to see Harley wasn't going to slip into doormat mode but on the other hand Ivy felt her insides twist seeing the stark fear showing on Harley's face.

The removal guy finally managed to get the package into the metal canister and still gingerly using the tongs he latched the restraint clamps down on the canister sealing the package safely away. It still wasn't 'safe' but at least it was now contained. If it was an explosive of some type the metal canister would take the brunt of it and if it contained gas of some type the canister was air tight.

Ivy assumed the package would be taken outside of Arkham and blown up. The pieces then would be examined thoroughly to see if it had anything else in it beyond the obvious non-verbal threat.

As the disposal guy gingerly picked up the sealed box and carried it away, he passed the breakfast cart being wheeled up. Whistler continued to stand beside Ivy's cell and watched to see if Harley would calm down or he should call one of the staff psychiatrists to prescribe a sedative. Harley fortunately showed signs of calming down as soon as the Joker's present was taken away. Ivy could tell it was just an act of Harley's so she wouldn't be doped up but it fooled Whistler. Harley was nearly out of her mind in fear but she was an old hand at concealing it.

Finally the breakfast cart reached the intersection between Ivy and Harley's cells. The guard pushing the cart was one the inmates called The Grump cause he never smiled and snapped at people.

Lifting a cover revealed a bowl of brightly colored and overly sugared cereal. Since Arkham was an institute of mental healing and not by definition a prison, the inmates were allowed to eat whatever they wanted…Within reason. No inmate would get served steak and lobster of course but if they preferred eggs over oatmeal for breakfast then that was what they would get.

Happy inmates were healing inmates was one of the head shrink's favorite sayings.

In Harley's case she had a standing order of Super Mega Sugar Smacks.

Ivy's breakfast was pretty much like every other meal the woman ate. Vegetables lightly steamed.

Ivy might have been an environmental terrorist and be willing to kill men for digging up flowers or burning down rain forests but she was a strict vegetarian and never touched meat of any kind. And let's face facts, a girl couldn't survive on fertilizer like her beloved plants did so she compromised in this area and ate vegetables.

Whistler still being concerned for Harley's mental welfare and just to be a nice guy took the bowl from The Grump and started to put it in the slot that food was passed to inmates.

"I don't want that." Harley flatly stated.

Whistler blinked. "Why?"

"The Joker has probably had it poisoned." Harley stated as she looked at the bowl as if it was a coiled viper.

"Ms. Quinzelle, you can't let Mr. Napier make you paranoid. It's your favorite cereal. Please eat." Whistler said holding the bowl up.

"I'll eat it. Harley can have my breakfast this morning." Ivy called out.

Harley's eyes widened in fear. "No Red! If it's poisoned then you'll get it!"

"Look. The cereal isn't poisoned." Whistler said becoming slightly annoyed. "Will you eat it if I try it and prove to you its safe?"

Harley reluctantly nodded her head.

Whistler picked up the small carton of milk and pouring it on the cereal he took a big spoonful and stuck it in his mouth. Grimacing he made a face at Harley. "Good lord Ms. Quinzelle how can you stand this stuff? It tastes horrible." He then chuckled.

Harley began to relax and wonder if she wasn't letting her fear of the Joker start to get to her.

That is until Whistler's chuckling started getting louder and he dropped the bowl and grabbed at his throat.

The Grump looked on in shock as Whistler started riotously laughing and fell to the floor. His face twisting into a hideous mockery of a smile.

Harley began pounding on the glass wall to draw his attention. "Don't stand there you idiot! Call for help. Tell them he's been poisoned by Joker Venom. You only have about five minutes to administer the antidote or Whistler is going to be dead!"

The Grump finally pulled himself together and pulling his walkie talkie he shouted into it.

Several long moments passed as Ivy casually watched Whistler rolling on the ground laughing.

"Pity. He was a nice guy too. Tried to help Harley by getting a buddy of his to come down and take that box away. At least he kept Harley from being poisoned by the Joker. Shame he forgot one of the cardinal rules of Arkham. Never taste test something for an inmate. You never knew who might be trying to kill them or why." Ivy thought to herself. It wasn't that she wished ill on Whistler. She thought he was halfway decent for a male. It was just that Ivy found it very hard to empathize for anyone. The pain and suffering of others just didn't touch her. Now if it had been Harley that had eaten that cereal… Ivy shuddered and didn't want to think about that.

Finally a man dressed in a white lab coat denoting a shrink ran up and pulling a hypodermic needle filled it with a green fluid from a vial and swiftly injected it into the laughing man. Ivy noted that it was Dr. Krantz. The Head head shrinker. While guards had to remain to the inmates nameless forms moving through their lives, shrinks were required to give at least their last names to the patients inside. It was suppose to give the inmates someone to 'bond' with. In reality it just made it really really easy for the hench people on the outside to find their families and use them to leverage things for the inmates.

Whistler finally began to wind down from his laughing fit and his face relaxed from the forced smile into a normal look.

Dr. Krantz carefully watched the man until he was sure he was out of danger. "Okay Johnny, what the hell happened?" He asked Whistler.

"So his real first name is Johnny?" Ivy thought.

"Ms. Quinzelle didn't want to eat her cereal because she thought it might be poisoned…"

"So you thought you would be her knight in shinning armor and tested it for her?" Dr. Krantz said shaking his head. "You know better than that Johnny. If Quinzelle thought her food was tampered with by Napier you should have just come to the lab and got a test kit and tested the food."

"I offered to trade breakfast with Harley." Ivy stated. She wasn't sure why she spoke out. She didn't want to get Whistler in any more trouble with Arkham but suddenly she felt the need to remind Harley how she tried to protect her.

Dr. Krantz looked over at her and reaching into a pocket of his coat he pulled a vial holding a bluish liquid and without a word poured it over Ivy's breakfast dish. Ivy recognized it as the test fluid the doctor had just reminded Whistler they had. When it came in contact with Joker Venom it turned a bright, and ironically considering it was one of the Joker's favorite colors, purple hue.

Ivy's cut vegetables on the platter suddenly turned purple.

"What?" Ivy asked in surprise. "That clown knows I am immune to poisons and toxins and that includes his venom. Why would he have my food tampered with?"

"He knows you are my friend Red." Harley's sad voice called out. "If I had traded breakfasts with you, I would still have gotten his poison."

Dr. Krantz grabbed The Grump by the arm. "How many meals have you given out so far?"

The Grump considered for a moment. "Just Mr. Freeze's, the Ventriloquist's, Mad Hatter's, and The Riddler's.

Dr. Krantz looked over at Mad Hatter's and Riddler's cell. Both of the men shook their head to show they hadn't touched their food yet. The excitement in the hallway had distracted them.

"Please hand the food back to the guard here. We'll have to test everything. It is possible Napier poisoned everyone's food in the off chance Ms. Quinzelle would trade breakfast with someone else." Looking back at the Grump he commanded. "Get on the walkie talkie and have someone check Victor Fries's cell and make sure he is okay. I'm not sure Joker Venom would affect him in any case considering his unusual low body temperature but we can't take the chance. And see if Arnold Wesker has eaten his meal yet and if he has check to see if he shows signs of Joker Venom."

The Grump nodded his head and started relaying instructions.

Dr. Krantz looked at the meal cart with suspicion. "We'll have to dump all the food and carefully check everything in the kitchen. There is no telling where or whom Napier got to doctor the food."

"What? We have to go without breakfast because The Joker's whore got problems?" The voice of Killer Croc could be heard down the hallway.

"Be silent!" Dr. Krantz surprised all by shouting. "Would you really prefer us to bring you your meal Mr. Waylon Jones and risk it being contaminated with Joker Venom?"

"Don't call me that! The name is Croc. Killer Croc!" Croc's gravely voice yelled back.

Dr. Krantz took a deep breath and Ivy could see he was silently counting to ten.

"We'll get you replacement meals as quickly as we can." He finally said at a much reduced volume.


	3. Chapter 3

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 3

Many hours later, the inmates finally got their meals…In time for lunch. Not breakfast.

The disruption in routines made the guards cranky. Administration not being able to figure out who the Joker's accomplice was or exactly how the people involved managed to contaminate the food in the attempted poisoning made them irritable. Having to wait extra long for their food made the inmates unhappy.

And they all took their feelings of hostility and irritation out on poor Harley Quinn. Logically the person they should have blamed for the delays and problems was the Joker but…It wasn't healthy to get on the Joker's bad side. As Harley herself was now finding out.

Harley stumbled along beside Ivy as the inmates were ushered into the 'recreation room' of Arkham. The guards glared at them and the inmates pushed and shoved Harley. Those that Ivy's glare didn't frighten away.

Harley was doing her best not to shed tears as the lunatics in Arkham turned on her. Loyalty wasn't high on anyone's list in Arkham but she knew most of her fellow inmates quite well and their turning their backs on her had deeply wounded her.

"Harley you have to snap out of it!" Ivy said to her friend as she felt Harley sidle closer to her side to avoid a passing loonie.

"But Ivy even the doll guy spat at me!" Harley whined.

Ivy shrugged. "I still say he brought it upon himself. If the ventriloquist hadn't had that Scarface puppet of his say, "I saw him laughing earlier after taking a bite of his scrambled eggs." They wouldn't have pumped his stomach."

Harley gave a half shrug of her own. "Maybe, but if I hadn't antagonized Mr. J. none of us would be having these problems."

Ivy pulled to a halt and grabbed Harley by the arm. She barely managed to resist the urge to shake the smaller blond woman. "None of this is your fault Harley! It was only a matter of time before that maniac clown decided he was tired of you and tried to kill you!"

Harley didn't reply but Ivy noticed her shoulders slumped even more. Ivy steered Harley over to a couch in front of the television and placed her against the arm of the couch and took the spot right beside her to insure no one else could.

"Watch the cartoons Harley and relax. You are too tense." Ivy said and mentally tried to tune out the awful cartoons the guards had turned on the set.

Ivy could feel as Harley slowly began to relax next to her as she became enthralled with the mindless cartoons.

Suddenly they both heard the sound of someone laughing a high pitch annoying laugh. One they both knew and dreaded all too well.

Harley's head slowly turned till she was looking over her shoulder behind her. Ivy too turned to look.

A few feet away at a card table sat the Joker. His eyes glittering evilly and his always maniacal smile firmly in place. Noticing that he had Harley's attention he held up a card with its back towards Harley. Slowly rotating the card he showed that it was a Joker.

"Damn! He's not supposed to be in here at the same time as you are." Ivy hissed in alarm.

Grabbing her arm Ivy hauled Harley to her feet and made a beeline towards a glass walled enclosure off to one side of the Recreation Room. A guard was sitting at a desk inside the protective box. He had something spread out over the surface of the desk and was studying the objects intently. As Ivy made her way over she thought they looked like photographs but the guard becoming aware that she was nearing him swept them up and stuffed them into a pocket of his jacket.

"What's the problem Ivy?" He asked.

Ivy frowned. The guard was one know to the inmates as Pervert. Whenever Harley or Ivy came back from the showers, he was always lurking around. Ivy firmly hated him.

Pointing behind her she said to him. "The Joker is never to be in the same room as Harley! All the guards were supposed to be told this!"

The guard made a large pretense of standing up at his desk and walking over to the glass wall that separated them and peering behind her. "I don't see Mr. Napier anywhere in this room."

Ivy spun on her heels and looked over at the poker table. There were a few of the inmates playing cards but the Joker was no where to be seen now.

"He was there." Ivy turned back but saw that the guard had dismissed her claim and was sitting at his desk once again.

"Come on Harley. We're going to find a guard who will listen to us." She then started pulling Harley away from the guard booth.

That was until she ran into a tall, very hard wall. A wall with leather like skin in a gray Arkham inmate uniform.

"You ran into me!" Killer Croc growled.

"You are standing in the way." Ivy growled back.

Without warning Killer Croc lashed out with a back hand and knocked Ivy back into the guard booth she had just walked away from. In the flight from Croc's blow she lost her grip on Harley's arm. Sliding down the glass box, Ivy glanced backwards and saw that the guard had his head ducked down and was staring at the surface of his desk as if he was desperately ignoring the fight going on mere feet away from him. Knowing there was no help from Pervert coming Ivy turned back to Croc as he raced towards her with his arms wide open.

Killer Croc wasn't named for his animal counter part due only to his looks. He also shared his namesake's strength and disposition. There had been many a Gotham police officer that had their backs broken by making the mistake of letting Croc getting his hands on them.

Ivy wasn't going to let her be another of his victims. Bracing her back against the glass wall behind her, Ivy lashed out with both legs kicking croc in his stomach.

Croc more in surprise than damage stepped back a few feet from the impact. With a mighty bellow he then started running at full speed towards Ivy planning to crush her between his bulk and the glass wall behind her.

Croc was strong, he was mean, he liked to hurt people but one thing Croc wasn't and that was overly smart.

Ivy waited till Croc was almost on top of her and then with a forward flip she leapt over him and allowed Croc to crash head on into the reinforced glass wall. Croc smacking into the wall bounced off of it, only to be met with Ivy's round house kick to the back of his head knocking him back into the glass wall yet again. With a groan, Croc slid face first down the wall and was out of the fight.

"That will teach you to underestimate a woman's power." Ivy gloated. "Isn't that right Harley?" She asked turning to look at the group of inmates that had gathered to watch the brief fight.

Ivy felt a tendril of ice crawl up her spine when she didn't spot Harley among the crowd.

"Harley! Where are you?" She yelled. Most of the inmates shrugged their shoulders and started moving off. Ivy still didn't spot Harley anywhere.

Ivy was just about to start frantically searching when she spotted the Mad Hatter looking at her. Staring at him she noticed he had one of his hands resting on his stomach and his index finger of that hand seemed to be pointing to something in the distance.

Turning to look where his finger was pointing she noticed it was toward a security staircase that lead to a raised walkway that ran the length of the recreation room. The catwalk was used by the guards to maintain order over the room in case of riots. The staircase was completely enclosed in fencing and the entrance to it was locked behind a iron door. With a shock Ivy realized that Mad Hatter wasn't pointing at the staircase itself but at the shadowy darkened area under the staircase.

Considering that Arkham was a mental asylum for the criminally insane, the architect for the building had to have been part looney himself because there were many such shadowy nooks and crannies all over the building. Places were things could be done without the guards seeing or knowing.

"Harley!" Ivy screamed and ran over to staircase. Ducking down she pressed herself into the area under the stairs. At first she didn't see anything and thought to herself that maybe she had been mistaken about the Mad Hatter trying to signal something to her. But then she heard a mewing type of noise way up under the foot of the stairs. Getting on her hands and knees Ivy pressed forward and finally felt her fingers brush against some material. Grabbing a good handful of the material Ivy hauled her find out.

It was Harley. She was gagged and around her throat was some brightly colored party streamers. As Ivy grabbed a handful of the streamers to try and tear them away from Harley's throat she made a discovery. The streamers might have appeared to be paper streamers but as they cut into Ivy's hand she realized they were actually brightly painted barbwire.

Gritting her teeth to steel against the pain Ivy pulled and slowly managed to unwind the tightly wound barbwire from Harley's throat. As she finished she saw that Harley had passed out and in the gloom of the under stairs Ivy could see that Harley's skin color was slightly bluish.

"Don't you dare die on me Harley!" Ivy pleaded and began to rhythmically press on Harley's chest. Stopping Ivy lowered her head to Harley's chest to see if she could hear a heartbeat. Detecting none, Ivy then bent over and began mouth to mouth trying to get Harley to breathe.

Ivy could feel tears begin to form in her eyes as she began to despair of Harley waking up, when with a gasp Harley began to breathe on her own.

Ivy grabbed Harley up in a hug and held on to her. Ivy could hear Harley hoarsely whisper into her ear. "I'm scared Pamela. I'm scared bad."

"Shh. Shh. It will be all right I promise. That clown won't hurt you ever again, I promise." Ivy whispered back.

Easing her way back out from under the steps Ivy then reached down and helped Harley come out. As they turned around they found themselves surrounded by guards. Behind the guards could be seen the other inmates of Arkham leering at them.

"For what…Purposes did you take young Ms. Quinzelle under the stairs?" The guard known as Pervert asked her. He leered implying he knew exactly why Harley and Ivy were under the stairs.

"You bastard." Ivy growled. "The Joker had taken Harley under the stairs to kill her. I found her and saved her life! Look at her neck and you can see the marks the barbwire made! Look at these damn streamers!" Ivy said hauling out a bunch of the wire and threw it at Pervert.

The guard side stepped the thrown barbwire. "And how do we know that you didn't use the wire to try and restrain Ms. Quinzelle when she resisted your charms?"

Harley struggled to speak. "Joker…Did this." She painfully forced out.

Pervert leaned in. "Sorry didn't quite catch that." He said with a slight grin. "Maybe I should take Ms. Quinzelle and 'examine' her for marks." He added with a barely contained leer. Some of the more 'scummier' inmates behind him started snickering.

Ivy could feel her blood starting to boil and stepped in front of Harley to shield her from Pervert's view. Her hands curling into fists she prepared to beat the guard to a pulp or at least go down trying.

"No…Ivy…You'll…Get…The…Hole." Harley managed to rasp out referring to the solitary confinement cell.

"What the hell is going on now?" A voice called out. The guards and crowd of onlookers parted to allow a man in a white lab coat to walk up. With him was another guard. Ivy quickly realized it was Dr. Krantz again with Whistler following along behind him. After Whistler's unfortunate brush with Joker Venom earlier in the morning he had been reassigned by Dr. Krantz to help him.

Whistler not wanting to endanger his job and fully recovering from the poison attack had insisted on not taking medical leave but staying at his post.

Arkham was a scary place to work but employment opportunities in Gotham weren't the greatest at the best of times.

You either worked for Arkham, one of Wayne Enterprises many businesses or for Gotham city government.

And Dr. Krantz was naturally a little suspicious of all the guards since the administration hadn't found out how or who was helping the Joker this time. Who better to trust than the man who had almost been poisoned by the Joker? After all what better proof could you have that the man wasn't in on the attack?

"We just caught Miss Isley here coming out from under the stairs with Miss Quinzelle here. She says that Miss Quinzelle was attacked by The Joker and she came to her rescue but I have my doubts. We all know that The Joker is not to be in the same area as Miss Quinzelle." The Pervert said and then made a show of looking around. "And I don't see him in this area do you?"

"And this is why you are allowing the other residents of this institute to gather around to gawk? And might I add, at your unprotected back?" Dr. Krantz replied calmly but tersely.

Ivy had to fight the urge to laugh on how fast the Pervert turned pure white and whirled around to face the group of homicidal maniacs that was just part and parcel of everyday life at Sunny Arkham. "All right you lot. Nothing to see here. Move on!" He started bellowing and motioning for the other on looking guards to help him clear the area.

"Oh and Kenny?" Dr. Krantz called out.

"Yes doctor?" The Pervert said turning around to face him, and once again leaving his back open to attack by the few remaining inmates standing just behind him.

"Be a good boy and send a guard to see if The Joker is still in his cell, won't you?" Dr. Krantz replied as he made a move to go to see to Harley's injuries.

"Yes Doctor." The Pervert replied in a sullen voice.

The Mad Hatter who had been standing behind him turned to look at The Riddler standing nearby. "His real first name is Kenny?" He asked in disbelief and then started to giggle.

The Riddler tried to look aloof for a few moments before cracking up himself. "Let's hope no one tries to kill Kenny."

The Mad Hatter couldn't resist adding in a mock high pitch voice. "You bastards!"

As the knowledge of the Pervert's real name floated through the room, along with the subsequent South Park jokes, people began snickering and laughing. Suddenly the most piercingly familiar laughter of The Joker was heard.

Harley, whom the good doctor Krantz was just about to examine her throat for injuries, heard the laugh she flinched and tried to curl up into a ball.

"Johnny give me a hand." Dr. Krantz ordered and rushed to try and pick Harley up. He came to a stop however as Ivy planted herself directly in his path.

"No. No man is going to lay a hand on Harley! I don't trust any of you!" Ivy practically hissed at the doctor.

Dr. Krantz was renowned for his calm and cool demeanor and it didn't fail him now. "Now Miss Isley…" He began but stopped as Ivy frowned. "Okay. Have it your way. Poison Ivy. Harley is showing signs of shock and looks like she is almost half out of her mind in fear. It is obvious even from a distance that Harley has been injured in the throat, perhaps even permanently. I won't know till I get her somewhere and examine her throat. You heard that laughter as well as I did. Even though we can't see him, it is fairly obvious that The Joker is not in his cell but is running loose. Do you just want to stand there with your arms folded preventing us from taking her someplace safe?"

Ivy continued to glare at the doctor a moment longer but then nodded her head. "We can take her to infirmary but I carry her and only you two accompany us." Ivy told him in a no nonsense terms.

Now the doctor knew fully well he could have called a squad of guards down. Batter down even the notorious Poison Ivy and have her thrown in a straight jacket for daring to give him orders but first and foremost he was a doctor. Such treatment would not help Isley's mental condition and Quinzelle would definitely also suffer undue mental strain from it as well. Not to mention the fact the doctor didn't want to acerbate the situation in the recreation room more than he had to. Also worrying to the good doctor was the fact that he still couldn't find where the Joker's laughter had come from.

So, he nodded his head and made a motion for Ivy to go ahead and pick up Harley.


	4. Chapter 4

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 4

They made a strange group as they moved down the halls of Arkham. Dr. Krantz leading the way, Ivy easily carrying Harley in her arms while Johnny the Whistler nervously brought up the rear. Harley was frowning angrily at Ivy. She gestured at her throat and then pointed at her legs and then made walking gestures with her fingers. Her meaning was clear; her throat was what was hurt. She was quite capable of walking on her own.

"Now Harley…" Ivy whispered to her as she carried her along. "You have had a great shock and have been injured. It won't hurt for you to let me carry you for a while, will it?"

Harley shot her another glare that clearly said. "You are enjoying this aren't you?"

Ivy hid a grin as her hand 'accidentally' slid up Harley's waist till she was almost cupping Harley's left breast.

As they entered the Infirmary, a female nurse rushed over to try and take Harley from Ivy's grasp. If looks could kill, Ivy would have earned another thirty or so years in Arkham. Shouldering the nurse out of the way, Ivy carried Harley over to a table and gently laid her down on it. Ivy slowly slid her arms out from under Harley. She made sure the hand that held Harley under her legs slowly brushed Harley's butt as she pulled away. Ivy was worried sick about Harley after the Joker's attack but damn if she would miss such a once in a life time chance like this.

Harley shot a suspicious look at her but didn't attempt to say anything.

Dr. Krantz pulled a large overhead light down and clicked it on. The glare was nearly blinding to poor Harley who quickly scrunched her eyes closed.

Being very gentle, Krantz lightly probed around the barbwire cuts and marks on Harley's throat. Not just out of consideration for his patient but also because he was keenly aware that Poison Ivy was standing right beside him watching every move he made.

"This is not good I'm afraid. The barbwire was wound so tightly around her throat there has been damage done to her larynx. It won't interfere with her breathing but she may have trouble with speaking and her voice will never be the same again."

Harley's eyes even under the glare of the lamp shot open in alarm and she looked at Ivy in terror. Harley was a talker, making her nearly mute was not anything she could face.

"I may have a solution doctor." Ivy began. "You know that Harley and I have the same blood type, don't you?"

"Of course. It's in your medical records which I am familiar with but Ms Quinzelle does not require a blood transfusion."

"I think she does." Ivy replied.

"What? Oh, wait. I see what you are getting at. Your unique enhanced genes. You believe that a full blood transfusion will transfer your rapid healing abilities to Ms Quinzelle." The doctor mused.

"You don't think so?"

"It's possible. No false flatteries but you are truly a unique individual Miss Isley. Rapid healing, enhanced strength and endurance and of course your immunity to all toxins and poisons. It is quite possible that if we do a full body blood transfusion between you and Harley that your blood will 'jump start' her body into producing the same effects but I have to point out that Harley's blood will weaken your system until your more dominant genes transmute her blood into yours. Also we have no way of knowing how long the effects of your blood will last in Quinzelle. It maybe very brief or it may change her forever." Dr. Krantz stated.

"So? What's the problem? Even if the effects are only temporary, it will heal the damage done to her throat, right? So do it!" Ivy said folding her arms over her chest defiantly.

"I can't do that. If the effects remain permanent, I will be responsible for enhancing Ms. Quinzelle. My job is to cure the criminally insane. Not make them more of a threat."

The doctor readied himself as he could see Ivy's shoulders tense. He fully expected her to attack him for denying her demands. So he was caught completely by surprise as Ivy did the unexpected. She lowered herself to her knees and placed her hands behind her back as if she was some kind of slave and looked up at him pleadingly.

"I am on my knees begging you doctor. I, Poison Ivy have never placed myself in this position for any man but I will do it for Harley. I don't want her to face having to go around in this place painfully croaking brief words. I want to hear her happy voice the way it used to be!"

Harley couldn't stand to see Ivy debasing herself in such a manner and struggled to turn on the table towards the kneeling woman. "Don't…Red…Maybe…Quiet…Won't … be… so…bad." She struggled to rasp out.

Ivy glanced at Harley and then turned desperate eyes towards the doctor. "And my blood may give her immunity to the Joker's Venom. Think of that. Once it gets out that Harley has had a full transfusion of my blood maybe the Joker will stop trying to use that attack on her again. Think of the time and effort that would save you. No more having to check everyone's food for Joker's little surprises."

The doctor seemed to be considering.

"I have to point out that such a procedure is completely against the rules Doctor!" The female nurse who had up till this point had been standing at the head of the table Harley was lying on, trying to look down Harley's blouse said. "It borders on experimentation on inmates. If this got out you would lose your license to practice medicine or psychiatry!"

"Johnny? I want you to go check on the Joker. I want to know if he is in his cell or not." Dr. Krantz called out to Whistler who was standing near the door to the Infirmary.

The guard gave a brief nod and went out the door quietly shutting it behind him.

"I want you to check all the medical records of all the inmates of Arkham." Dr. Krantz said turning to look at the bothersome nurse.

"I can't do that doctor. Regulations clearly state that a female nurse must be present at all times when a male doctor is examining female patients." The nurse said smugly.

"That's it!" Ivy snarled. In one fluid motion she rose from her kneeling position and slammed an uppercut into the nurse's chin knocking her across the room and out completely. The nurse slammed into a cabinet knocking off a rose plant that had been in a pot sitting on the cabinet. The plant landed in her lap.

"I had already planned to do that when I noticed her craning her neck trying to stare down Harley's shirt!" Ivy turned to look at the doctor. "Are we going to do this or are you going to call the guards on me?"

The doctor drummed his fingers on the desk near him for a moment before nodding his head. "I'll probably lose my license but I agree this is the only way I can think of to spare Ms. Quinzelle from maybe years of painful rehabilitation learning to speak once again. But we don't even know if this idea of yours will work. It can't do any harm to Ms. Quinzelle because you are of the same blood type but your healing abilities may not pass to her."

Ivy just nodded her head appearing to agree with the doctor. But in reality she knew it would at least partially work. At one time in the past she and Harley had partnered up and they had hid out in a toxic waste dump. Ivy had used her blood at that time to make a serum that temporarily gave Harley immunity from toxins. It had worked perfectly but since the serum had just a tiny bit of Ivy's blood in it, the effect had faded with time. Ivy was hoping the massive full body blood transfusion would make the effect permanent.

Harley looked nervously between the doctor and Ivy. She semi followed most of the conversation but she wasn't sure how they planned to transfer Ivy's unique healing abilities to her.

Dr. Krantz pulled a table over next to Harley's. "I'll attach a transfusion tube near your heart, across to Harley's heart and then attach a tube at the farthest point from Harley's heart, namely her ankle, across to your ankle. For full blood transfusion it should only take two hours."

Ivy nodded her head.

Harley's eyes grew wide. "Attach a tube near Red's heart to mine? How do they plan to attach a tube?" She thought to herself. As the doctor pulled out a very long needle, understanding hit Harley and she began to freak out majorly.

Seeing Harley starting to rise in panic, Ivy quickly leapt up on the table and straddled Harley's hips. Reaching down she found straps attached to the table and began to strap Harley down to the operating table. Ivy couldn't resist leaning over and whispering to Harley. "Once we get out of this place we should look into getting a table like this."

Harley's eyes widened at the obvious innuendo and she blinked several times at Ivy. Ivy used Harley's distraction to hop off of her and quickly strap her legs down as well.

Once she had Harley fully bound to the table she then hopped on the second table. "Ready when you are doctor." She told Dr. Krantz.

"This will hurt slightly but shouldn't be unbearable." Dr. Krantz said as he opened Ivy's shirt only enough to slip the long needle into the main artery called the dorsal aorta, the artery that leaves the heart. Crossing over to Harley he then quickly slipped the other needle into her main vein leading into Harley's heart. Moving downwards he then inserted another needle tube connection into a vein on Harley's ankle and moving across to Ivy he inserted the end into an artery on Ivy's ankle. Completing the circuit he then opened the valves on the tubes and watched as bright red blood rich with oxygen, and Ivy's unique blood cells, moved across to enter Harley's body. The much darker blood then moved out from Harley's ankle to enter Ivy's body.

"You both will feel somewhat sleepy and tired as the blood circulates among you. This is perfectly natural. Feel free to sleep if you want to." Dr. Krantz said and then pulled over a chair to monitor the proceedings.

Ivy slowly opened her eyes. She felt more tired than she had ever felt in her life. Looking around, the first thing she noticed was Dr. Krantz body slumped over his desk. His head had been cracked open by being hit with something blunt. Ivy wasn't sure from her position on the table but she doubted the doctor would ever rise from his desk again.

"Damn. He was decent too. Arkham is hazardous to the health of decent guys." Ivy thought to herself. Ivy tried to rise from her table but realized a moment later that she had been strapped down as she had strapped Harley down earlier. "Uh oh. This is not good." Ivy worried to herself.

Sensing something moving at her head Ivy tried to twist her head around to look.

"Oh look, the plant bitch is awake." Ivy recognized the voice instantly as that of the female nurse she had slugged. "Should have hit her harder." Ivy reprimanded herself silently.

"I just want you to know there is nothing personal in this." The nurse continued in a conversational manner. "The Joker just promised me big bucks if I iced his little wandering doll, that's all. He particularly wanted me to inject her if I got the chance with his Venom. He wants her with a big smile on her face as they lower her into the ground. I guess now that she is full of your blood, it won't work any more. Oh well. I guess I'll just have to do it the messy way."

Ivy twisting her head could see as the nurse came around Harley's table, she had a scalpel in her hands and a very sick demented grin on her face. "I'll just have to carve a smile on her face."

"Get away from her you bitch!" Ivy tried to growl but it came out weakly.

"Oh don't get me wrong. I don't hate Harley. As a matter of fact I think she is really quite lickable, er I mean likeable, don't I?" The nurse smiled and swiping the scalpel down Harley's blouse she severed the buttons holding it close. Reaching down she began to tweak and pinch one of Harley's nipples.

Harley still unconscious from the blood transfusion began to whimper and moan.

Suddenly she said quite clearly and distinctively in her sleep. "Oh yes Red! Please don't stop."

The nurse stopped her ministrations and looked up in surprise at Ivy. "Well, well. It would seem that Harley has transferred her crush from the Joker to you Ivy."

Ivy could have shouted in joy. "Not so much from Harley's unconscious mutterings but the fact that her voice was strong and clear. Looking across she could see the slashes on her throat from the barbwire were gone and now all that was left were slight pinkish marks. The transfusion had worked! Harley's body was healing itself at a tremendous rate.

Seeing that Ivy wasn't going to answer her, the nurse moved away from Harley's prone body over to the table holding Ivy. "Oh don't be jealous. I think you are quite gorgeous too." Using the scalpel, the nurse quickly cut open Ivy's Arkham shirt as well. Reaching down the nurse painfully twisted one of Ivy's nipples. Ivy didn't give her the satisfaction of reacting but her glare promised a slow death to the woman if she ever got free.

"You aren't as much fun as Harley is. Not nearly as responsive." The woman said in mock disappointment. "Guess its time to bring a smile to her face. Pity to mar such beauty but money is money." The woman then moved out of Ivy's sight.

Straining her neck as far as it would go, Ivy eventually saw the nurse moving back towards Harley's table. In one hand she carried the dreaded scalpel; in the other hand was the rose plant that had been knocked off the table on top of her.

"I thought it would be a nice touch if your dear Harley had something to remind her of you as she goes to Hell."

The nurse then lightly brushed the rose bud across Harley's breasts. Harley sighed and a smile crossed her face but she didn't wake up.

The nurse then savagely jerked the needle near Harley's heart out. Since she had not closed the valve on the tube, some of Ivy/Harley's mixed blood squirted out spraying the rose plant.

"Mother Nature, I've tried to protect you and punish those that have abused you all my life. Please repay me now but letting this work." Ivy thought desperately. Straining with all her weakened might, Ivy commanded the rose plant mentally through her blood.

The nurse smirking started to lay the plant down between Harley's breasts. Tried that is, but the rose plant suddenly began growing. The thorny vines wrapping around her wrist, biting in deeply.

"What the hell?" The nurse screeched and tried to throw the plant away from her. The thorny growth continued to grow at a massively accelerated rate though and wrapped around her arms. Trying to slash at the plant with the scalpel only caused the frightened woman to drop the scalpel. It landed next to Harley's head, the blade sticking into the table.

Stumbling back away from the table the woman began to scream as she tried to rip the plant off of her, all the while the plant kept growing and twisting around her body.

"Harley! Wake up Harley!" Ivy began yelling at her as she struggled with the bindings on her hands.

"I had the most intense dream Red." Harley said as she started to wake up. "Hey! My voice is back and my throat feels fine. As a matter of fact I feel better than I have ever felt before."

Harley turned her head and the first thing she noticed was the scalpel near her head. Eeping slightly she turned her head towards Ivy and spotted Ivy's breasts as her shirt had been cut open.

"Um, wow Red. What happened to you?" Glancing down she noticed she was in the same position. "What happened to me!" She yelled. Reacting instinctively she made a grab to close her blouse. A loud ripping noise was heard as the strap that had been holding her left arm down tore free.

"Wow. When did I get so strong?" Harley asked stunned.

"You have inherited some of my strength and endurance." Ivy said tiredly. "You got stronger and I got weaker. With some time it will balance out and we should both be at the same level."

Harley began undoing the straps on the rest of her body. "Does that mean I will inherit that neat green tint you get when you are in the sun for a long time? I always thought that was such a beautiful look on you."

"I don't know. I guess you might. Wait a minute. You thought that looked beautiful on me?" Ivy said jerking her head up from the table to stare across at Harley. "But you never let on that you thought I looked good. I tried flirting with you many times and it seemed like you were totally oblivious!"

Harley released the last strap and carefully pulling out the remaining needle on her ankle she stood up. "Trust me Red. I noticed. It was just…" She trailed off.

"You were hoping you and the Joker would hook up." Ivy finished somewhat bitterly.

"Well, yeah. But it wasn't just that. I've never… I mean I just never thought of another woman in the way I knew you were thinking about me. I was flattered. I have to admit I was kind of interested too but I was… I was just scared okay?"

Ivy looked up in surprise as Harley started releasing her straps. "Traveling with the Joker I thought nothing really scared you. What were you scared of?"

"Well gee Red. I hadn't ever made it with a guy and I knew from sex ed classes how that was suppose to go. I have no idea how two women, um, get it on." Harley finished as she blushed strongly.

"Then we're going to have to work on your education, aren't we Harley?" Ivy practically purred at her.

Harley wondering if a woman could pass out from blushing too strongly glanced around the room, anything to keep her eyes off of Ivy's open blouse which the woman maddingly hadn't closed yet.

Spotting the dead doctor at the desk Harley frowned. She wasn't shocked at violent deaths. Traveling with the Joker they kind of got to be common place but she had started to like the head shrink of Arkham. He had helped her after all.

"Who killed the doc?" She asked Ivy.

"Nurse Cratchet." Ivy replied with a frown. "She had a deal with the Joker to kill you and leave a permanent smile on your face. She killed the doctor and strapped me in while I was unconscious."

"I still can't believe the Joker is going to these lengths." Harley said sadly.

"Don't tell me you still feel something for that freak!" Ivy hissed as she angrily sat up on the table.

"No! No! It's not like that! I just still can't believe how badly I misread him. I really thought he would never kill me. I thought I was something special to him. Guess I suck at reading people, huh Red?"

To avoid Ivy's suspicious eyes, Harley began looking around the Infirmary once again. "Hey what's with this plant over here?" She asked.

Ivy glanced over and saw a huge mound of rose plant. It vaguely looked like a giant cocoon. Sticking slightly out of the mound of vines, thorns and roses was a withered woman's hand.

"That would be Nurse Cratchet. She thought it would be funny to bury you with the rose plant that was in the room. Unfortunately for her she got some of my, er I guess I should now say our blood on it. I mentally commanded the plant to grow." Ivy said shrugging.

"Oh wow. Will I be able to do that too?" Harley said jumping up and down in excitement.

Ivy shrugged again. "Don't know. Guess we'll have to experiment once we get out of here to see how many of my abilities you got." Ivy gave Harley a wicked smile. "We'll have to experiment with many things." She added.

"Um, yeah." Harley answered and started blushing again. To change the subject she suddenly asked Ivy. "What are we going to do now? The Joker won't stop until I'm dead and even if we escape, you know the Joker will just walk out of Arkham and come after us. There is no where we can run that the Joker won't follow…" Harley paused for a moment.

"Unless…" She pondered.

"What?" Ivy asked curiously.

"We can get the parts to the sonic device the Joker used and open a portal to Tenchi's world! That's it Red! We can escape from Gotham and from this crappy world completely and go to Tenchi's world!" Harley said excitedly.

Ivy with a frown folded her arms across her chest. "I can't believe you Harley! I save you from the Joker! I tell you that I am attracted to you and you want to rush into some other guy's arms! Straight from the Joker to this Tenchi guy!"

"No Red! You got it all wrong! I admit I was slightly attracted to Tenchi but I'm over him! I just want us to go to his world cause no one will know us as criminals there! We can start over. No more running from the law, we can settle down and just live together. You would love Tenchi's world Red. Clean water! Pure air and bright cheerful sunshine!" Harley paused and then added. "Besides, Tenchi has a large group of women that live with him that are after him. He wouldn't look twice at me. I'm nothing compared to those other women."

To Harley's surprise Ivy's frown turned even stormier looking. "Don't ever say that again Harley! You are more than a match for any other woman and could get any guy she wanted to. I would kill them of course but you could get them."

"Trust me Red. I don't want any more guys. I just want to settle down with you and be happy. I think we both deserve it, don't you? Tenchi knows that I was a criminal but it didn't faze him. He believes in only judging people for how they act. Not what they might have done before. One of the women staying with him was a criminal. Tenchi can help us as a friend to get us settled in."

Ivy didn't seem too convinced but she unfolded her arms anyway. "Well, we do need somewhere to go and you are right that the Joker isn't going to give up on his vendetta against you any time soon." She raised a hand to stop the exuberance she felt starting to come from Harley. "We'll think about this other dimensional thing later. For right now we need to get out of Arkham first. How do we go about that? The sewers?"

Harley grimaced in distaste before shaking her head. "Can't. After the last time Killer Croc used that way out they put an electrified iron cover over the access route. How about over the walls?"

Ivy shook her head this time. "They stationed permanent guards up there after the last time the Joker used that way. Tunnels?"

"Remember they dug up the grounds and put a layer of concrete 15 feet down after the last time Mad Hatter used a 'rabbit hole' to escape."

"Then how are we going to get out? We need to do this today cause as soon as they see the dead doctor and nurse they are going to blame us. We get thrown into solitary; the Joker will use the opportunity to kill you." Ivy reminded Harley.

Suddenly there came a knocking on the door to the Infirmary. "Doctor Krantz? Should I do another round of Arkham or can I come in yet?" The voice of Johnny "Whistler" called through the closed door.

Harley rushed over to the door and found it locked. Looking over at Ivy and getting a nod, she slowly unlocked the door and stepped back away from it.


	5. Chapter 5

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 5

The door opened and Johnny came in. The first sight to greet him was Harley standing there with her shirt hanging open. Now Harley was slightly shorter than most women and it has been said that without her makeup she looks somewhat like an innocent little girl but one thing was for sure. Harley was a very well endowed woman. Johnny took one look and then blushing madly he forced his eyes up to stare several feet above Harley. Quickly he removed the white lab coat he had been wearing. He had put it on when Doctor Krantz assigned him to work with him for the rest of the day to help differentiate him from the other guards in Arkham. Quickly he handed the coat over to Harley to cover herself and looked away as the young woman slipped into the coat.

"Okay." Ivy thought to herself. "When Harley and I escape from Arkham, I've got to make sure that Johnny here doesn't get killed. He's been nothing but a gentleman to Harley so that's the least I can do." Ivy was a little surprised that she cared at all but chalked it up to Harley's blood in her making her care.

"What's happened?" Johnny asked in confusion. Looking around he spied Dr. Krantz dead body at his desk. Leaping back slightly from Harley he reached behind him and pulled out a stun gun. "Harley." He said sadly. "Why? The doctor only wanted to help you!"

"Whoa! Whoa! It wasn't us Whistler! I promise! You got to believe me! While me and Ivy were having the blood transfer thingy going, the nurse killed the doc!" Harley replied raising her hands defensively.

"And why would the nurse do something like that?" Johnny said unbelievingly.

"She was on the Joker's payroll. He paid her to kill Harley as soon as she got a chance." Ivy replied drawing Johnny's attention to her. Johnny couldn't help but notice that her shirt was hanging open as well. Once again Johnny forced himself to look at Ivy in the eyes.

Harley suddenly did a spinning side kick and knocked the stun gun out of his hands straight into Ivy's open hands. Johnny wasted no time and spun around to make a run for the door but was stopped as Harley grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him farther into the room and got to the door first and slammed and locked it in one fluid motion. Ivy tossed the stun gun back to Harley and made her way towards Johnny.

"Don't hurt him Red. He's really a nice guy."

Ivy shot a suspicious glance at Harley but then said. "I'm not going to hurt him… If he stays smart and doesn't do anything stupid." As she passed the rose mound she reached out and broke a portion of the vine off. The vine shifted and twisted in her hands as if it was a living snake. Harley could see the wicked looking thorns on it pulled back into the vine until it looked nothing more than a green piece of rope.

Johnny having looked over at the mound as Ivy got her vine from it could see the dead nurse's withered hand stuck out from it. He turned white as Ivy approached him with the piece of vine in her hand.

"Calm down Johnny. I told you that I'm not going to harm you and I wouldn't lie about that. Now turn around and place your hands behind your back." Ivy instructed him. She could see in his eyes that he was thinking of making a fight for it.

"Please Whistler." Harley begged him. "Just let her tie you up."

Johnny sighed. He knew he was no match for Poison Ivy. The fact that Ivy wasn't up to full strength from her body processing Harley's blood and at the moment they were actually evenly matched was unknown to him. Finally he turned around and placed his hands behind his back.

Ivy placed the vine on the back of Johnny's wrist and mentally commanded it. The vine promptly twisted around and around both of Johnny's wrists making living plant handcuffs.

"We need a way out of her Johnny. What would you do if you were us?" Ivy asked him conversationally as she turned him around and lowered him down to sit on the floor of the room.

"I would turn myself in and explain what happened in this room." Johnny stated sullenly.

Ivy looked at him and then laughed. "Don't become a criminal Johnny. You wouldn't last a day."

"Hey Ivy?" Harley called out.

Ivy turning noticed that Harley was pulling at and looking at the identity badge that was pinned to the lab coat. "These things have magnetic strips on them. That must mean they are used to open the security doors. What if we just use Johnny's card to go out the staff's entrance to Arkham?"

"Surely it can't be that easy?" Ivy thought to herself. "If it was that easy, surely one of the other inmates of Arkham would have done it before now."

"We would need his pass code to use in addition to the card." Was all she said to Harley.

"Whistler? Won't you tell us your code?" Harley said bending over to talk to him.

Johnny turned his head to keep from staring as the stolen lab coat Harley was wearing flared open exposing her breasts again. "No." Was all he said in response.

"Damn it Johnny! Don't make me force you to tell us! I promised I wouldn't hurt you but we need to get out of here! Do you want to see Harley killed by the Joker? You know that is going to happen if she doesn't get away from him!" Ivy raged at the man.

"I won't help you use my card!" Johnny seemingly defiant said back. "I won't help you use the front of it or the BACK of it either."

Harley frowned at the strange way he had answered and unpinning the card from the lab coat she turned it around and looked on the back of it. Carefully written on the back of the plastic card in pen was a series of numbers.

"Thank you Johnny." She said using his real first name for the first time and then she kissed him on the forehead. She showed Ivy the code numbers written on the back of the card and then going to a med cabinet she got a needle and a vial of clear liquid.

"What are you going to do?" Ivy asked her in surprise.

"I'm going to knock Johnny here out so there won't be in question of whether he helped us or not. I don't want him to get fired for doing the noble thing and saving us." Harley replied as she filled the needle.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing?" Ivy asked watching.

"You are forgetting Red. Once long ago I used to work here as a head shrinker myself. This is just a simple tranquilizer. Johnny is going to go to sleep and be none the worse for wear when he wakes up. Oh by the way, Johnny? What kind of car do you drive?"

"A beat up old Ford. Why? Oh not my car too?" Johnny asked as Harley fished in his pants' pockets and pulled his car keys out.

As Harley injected the fluid into his arm she smiled apologetically. "Sorry. It's not like me and Red can call for a cab to pick us up outside Arkham's gates you know. We'll try to leave your car somewhere they can recover it though, I promise."

Ivy went over to the dead doctor's body and carefully she peeled his lab coat off as well. Placing the coat on, she checked the identity card on his coat and noticed that he hadn't written his access code on his card. "Oh well, we'll just have to hope that Johnny's card can get us all the way out to the staff's parking area." She thought to herself.

In retrospect, the escape was so easy it had been almost boring. Ivy had snagged a few more rose vines to use as weapons if they had been challenged but here hadn't been anyone to challenge them at all. The Infirmary was very close to the staff only areas so a short walk down a corridor got them to the first door. Sliding the card and typing the numbers on the back of it opened the door easily. There were many doors and checkpoints but they didn't run into any staff because it was dinner time at Arkham and the checkpoints were empty as all of the staff was busy getting the inmates back to their cells and feeding them.

Reaching the last door in the staff area and swiping the card one more time opened the door to the staff parking area just as the sun was starting to set. Ivy had been a little worried they would have to waste valuable time searching for Johhny's car. She needn't have worried on that issue either. All the cars in the staff parking lot were new cars, except for Johnny's.

"As if I needed any more proof that Johnny is one of the few honest people working in Arkham. How else could the rest of these people afford such new cars on the salaries they get working here?" Ivy thought in disgust to herself.

Harley climbed into the driver's side and Ivy with a shrug allowed her. Ivy knew how to drive of course but cars made pollution and pollution kills plants so she avoided using them when she could. If Harley wanted to drive, Ivy was willing to let her.

As they neared the huge iron gates that lead out of the back of Arkham, Ivy readied several of her vines. Harley noticed nervously that the vines were sporting extra long deadly looking thorns.

"Red? Let me handle this. It would be best if we made a quiet escape." Harley said nervously as she pulled up to guard station beside the gate. Taking Johnny's card she stuck her arm out of the car and held it up to the camera.

The guard inside the bullet proof guard booth glanced away from a TV playing an old black and white movie, glanced at his security monitor and hit the gate opener and went back to his movie.

Harley blinked several times as the massive gates slowly opened and looked over at equally stunned Ivy. "Wow. Arkham has really gotten lax lately. It's no wonder the crazies escape so often." She commented as she started the car and drove out of Arkham and headed towards Gotham City.

They drove for many miles, always going down little used side streets or back alleys when they could. Ivy idly wondered where Harley was going but still being so tired from the blood transfusion she allowed the younger woman to take the lead for now.

Feeling the car pull to a halt Ivy's head jerked up as she had almost dozed off.

Looking around she realized they were in the nearly empty warehouse and storage district of old Gotham.

Harley had pulled into an empty grassy lot. A lone light post with a buzzing blinking light was the only thing to shed any light in the darkness.

"We need to go from here by foot Red." Harley said as she turned off the car's ignition and turned to look at Ivy.

"Where are we going?" Ivy asked.

"To one of Mr. J's, er, I mean The Joker's hideaways. This lab coat is just not doing it for me and I want to get some of my old clothing. Once I pick up my stuff from there we can go to one of your hideouts."

Ivy frowned. She could understand why Harley would want to change out of the white lab coat which kind of stood out in the dark but she wasn't thrilled with her going back to wearing her old harlequin costume. Having no better suggestions and being exhausted, she shrugged. "Sounds good to me I guess."

As they left the empty lot they heard a barely audible rustling noise with a few unmistakable air wrench noises. Slowly turning back, they looked at the car illuminated by the one street light in the middle of the bare lot.

The car was now up on blocks, missing its wheels… And its doors and if Ivy was to hazard a guess she imagined most of its interior including the car seats. There was no one in sight around the car or any signs of where the stolen car parts had gone.

"Damn, they're good." Ivy said in respect to the gang that was obviously in the area.

"Aww." Harley whined slightly. "I promised Johnny I would leave his car somewhere they could recover it from. There is hardly anything left of it now."

Ivy shrugged. "Oh well. Arkham's insurance should have to pay for it. He lost it while at work and it was work related. Maybe if he is smart for once in his life he'll tell them it was in a lot better condition than it was and Arkham will buy him a better car than that piece of crap was."

Harley's downcast expression lightened. "Yeah. It would be nice if Johnny got something out of helping us."

"Yeah I guess." Ivy replied in an offhand way. "Now let's get out of sight before that gang decides to 'strip' something else other than the car."


	6. Chapter 6

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 6

Harley led Ivy through grimy back alleys and industrial areas before finally leading her into the abandoned Gotham Lucky Ace Playing Card warehouse. Ivy could barely see in the gloom of the night a large billboard over the building that showed a hand holding a handful of cards, in which Aces and eights and one joker card showed.

Entering the dark warehouse Ivy almost thought that Harley had made some kind of mistake. The vast empty warehouse was, well just that, empty.

Reaching the middle of the warehouse Harley fished around in the dust on the floor and finding a ring tugged open a concealed metal plate. Ushering Ivy down in the dark hole in the floor she waited till she had climbed in behind her and pulled the plate back over them. Plunged into a dark pit in the ground Ivy was just starting to feel uncomfortable when Harley clicked a unseen switch inset to the wall of the staircase they were in. Lights near the steps in the stairwell came on and Ivy could see the stairs continued downward.

Finally reaching another metal door, Harley rapidly typed a code on a keypad beside the door and after a moment the door slowly creaked open.

"We're home." Harley said with a smile as she clicked on the lights.

As they entered the Joker's secret lair, Ivy could see a large square room with two other doors leading off in different directions. The walls were painted in various shades of orange, green and purple. There were chairs upholstered in bright, and Ivy thought to herself gaudy purple vinyl. Hanging on one wall was a massive oil painting of the Joker holding a severed batman cowled head. At the Joker's feet lies Harley. Ivy was sure the impression was suppose to have been of Harley lying at the Joker's feet looking sexy but the thing she couldn't help but notice was that the Joker in the painting had one of his feet firmly planted on top of the prone Harley. To Ivy it looked like the Joker was using her as a literal doormat.

She glanced over at Harley to see if she would look at her ex-puddin's image in the painting but Harley ignored the giant painting and immediately went over to one of the doors in the room.

"I'll be right out Red. Make yourself comfortable."

Ivy with distaste looked at the gaudy furniture and even though tired, she refrained from sitting in them. Within a few moments she heard the door open and looked over. Harley was now once again dressed in her familiar black and red harlequin costume. Ivy was at least grateful that the woman had left the horrible white face makeup off. She did have the hood of the costume with its jester's tassels on covering her blond hair though causing ivy to frown at her.

"I know Red, I know. The costume reminds you of… Him. But I have nothing else to wear. It'll have to do at least for now."

"The costume does have one redeeming feature." Ivy said as she slowly walked over to Harley.

"What?"

"It is oh so skin tight." Ivy grinned as she rested one of her hands on Harley's hip and slowly slid it up her side. "I can't see any visible bra or panty lines under it either." She purred.

Harley began to blush and look slightly nervous. Suddenly her eyes widened. "The babies! I forgot about the babies!" She yelled as she raced over to the other as yet unopened door of the room.

"Babies! What babies?" Ivy asked in confusion.

Harley jerked the door open and clicked on the lights in the other room. "Babies! Momma is home…" Ivy watching saw Harley freeze in the doorway and wondered why she suddenly trailed off.

"Harley? What's wrong?" She asked as she crossed the room to look over Harley's shoulder into the other room.

Several bright spotlights had been trained to shine on something hanging in the middle of the room. As Ivy cocked her head, she could see two dark reddish masses hanging from chains. Below the objects was a mass of what looked like bloodied dark furs.

"Lou? Bud?" Harley's voice cracked and broke.

Stepping around the frozen Harley, Ivy made her way into the room and crossed over to the hanging objects. As she got closer Ivy could smell the unmistakable coppery smell of blood.

"Dogs? Skinned dogs?" She asked out loud.

"They were hyenas." Harley's voice sobbed out. "Me and Mr. J. stole them when they were just pups from the Gotham zoo. I raised them. I feed them. Mr. J had standing orders with his henchmen that when him and I got caught and sent to Arkham that they would take care of them and make sure they got fed."

Ivy spotted a white rectangle stuck to one of the bloody bodies. Reaching over she tugged it off and found it was a single piece of paper. Holding it up to the light she read out loud.

"I just want you to know how sorry I am Harley if you are reading this. The Joker used his one call when he was booked at Gotham police station and gave us a coded message to skin the hyenas alive. We drew straws and I ended up having to be the one to do it. Please don't hate me Harley. I had to. The Joker knows where my family lives. Once again. I'm sorry.

Signed Lenny."

Ivy squinting her eyes saw tiny printing on the bottom of the paper.

"I know this won't make you feel better but I didn't skin them alive but gassed them first so they wouldn't feel any pain. Don't let the Joker find out please?"

"I'm sorry Harley. I know they must have meant a lot to you." Ivy said turning to look at Harley expecting to see her crying. To her surprise Harley was clenching and unclenching her fists. With an animal like scream of rage she grabbed a long butcher knife that was sitting near the door on a table and raced back into the main foyer of the underground hideout.

"Harley? Harley what are you going to do?" Ivy yelled nervously. "Everyone in Arkham knew that Harley had a very real temper. It took a lot to make her angry but when she was, even the Joker was a little leery around her. Ivy could easily imagine Harley running all the way back to Arkham and beating on the main gates to be let in so she could kill the Joker for destroying her precious babies.

Racing to the door she saw that Harley had pulled one of the gaudy chairs up to the painting hanging on the wall and was viciously slashing the Joker's face on it.

"You rotten son of a bitch bastard!" She yelled at the painting as she slashed it. "You couldn't be happy with just planning on destroying me? You had to take it out on Lou and Bud too?"

The upper portion of the painting of the Joker was completely destroyed. The only part of the painting still left was the bottom half with Harley at his feet.

"And you! You stupid bitch! You worthless stupid bag of shit!" Harley began snarling at her own image. "How could anyone love such a stupid idiot that couldn't even see how worthless they really are?" Harley began slashing at her image with the same fervor she had attacked the Joker's image.

Ivy racing across the room grabbed Harley around her waist pinning her arms to her sides. Harley dropped the knife but kept spitting at her now destroyed image.

"Stop it Harley! Stop it! You are not worthless! You are not stupid! The Joker had this done to make you feel just this way! Don't let him win! You are better than this!" Ivy yelled into Harley's ears as she held on to her with all her might.

Eventually Harley's screams of rage and self condemnation wound down till she was sobbing and crying.

"We'll make him pay." Ivy said softly to her trying to calm her down.

"Pay. Yeah he'll pay all right." Harley finally said. As Ivy eased her grip around Harley's arms, she suddenly shrugged out of Ivy's grip and ran back into the room where the skinned hyenas were in.

"Harley? Don't go back in there." Ivy yelled in frustration as she followed her in.

Harley however didn't go to the hyenas but over to a large box made to look like a Jack in the Box. As Ivy reached her side she saw that Harley had opened a panel on the side of the box revealing a safe's combination lock.

"Stand back Ivy." Harley said to her as she worked the combination.

"Afraid I'll see the combination?" Ivy asked slightly hurt.

Harley looked over at her in surprise. "What? No. I just don't want you to get hurt by the security system. Now stand over more to the side."

Ivy moved sideways till Harley finally nodded her head. Giving the combination dial one last turn, Harley then leapt to the side herself.

The safe door opened and Ivy felt a breeze as a red blur shot past her, missing her by only a foot. She felt a reverse breeze as the red blur came back again. After a few more times, the red object wound to a stop and Ivy realized it was a giant boxing glove on a extremely high powered spring. If she had been standing directly in front of the safe, she knew the glove would have smashed every bone in her body. As the glove came to a complete stop she started to step back in front of the brightly colored Jack in the Box.

"NO!" Harley shouted and racing over grabbed Ivy to keep her from moving.

Suddenly the top of the Jack in the Box popped open and a clown with a giant mallet came out of the top on a spring. It randomly smashed at areas in front of the box, all the while mechanical laughter rang out. That too finally wound to a stop and the mallet wielding clown finally tilted drunkenly to the side. Finally Harley released Ivy from her grip and stepped over to the safe and pushed the boxing glove to the side. Reaching into the safe she pulled four big black bags out and started to fill the bags with bundles of money.

Ivy blinked at the amount of money Harley was hauling out of the box.

"This is the Joker's mad money." Harley explained as she continued to work. "It gets costly buying high powered electric joy buzzers, explosives for whoopee cushions and cyanide gum to fool your enemies."

Finally Harley was done and handed two of the bags to Ivy and took two of them herself. "Okay Red. I'm ready to go. There's nothing here for me any more."


	7. Chapter 7

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 7

After leaving the Joker's underground hideout, Ivy lead Harley towards Gotham City's dock area. Another area filled with lots of empty warehouses. Finally Ivy, weaving slightly from near exhaustion, lead Harley to the Happy Exotic Plant Import Company, now defunct.

Pushing open the doors Harley could see the warehouse was nearly bare. The only thing left in the room was piles of fertilizer stacked near a back wall.

Ivy made a beeline straight to the canvas bags and reaching behind them she released a hidden catch. The wall then opened backwards, bags of fertilizer and all to reveal a small room behind.

Ivy entered the room and walked straight over to a large round flower bed in the center and collapsed on it.

Harley after studying the wall and hidden catch figured out how to shut the secret door. A large overhead skylight allowed bright moonlight to flood into the room for her to see by.

Walking over to Ivy, Harley sat down on the edge of the flower bed.

"You can't imagine how many times I dreamed of getting you into my flower bed Harley… And now that I have, I'm too tired to do anything about it." Ivy said with a sigh and promptly fell asleep.

Harley, still energized from Ivy's blood running through her body couldn't rest and wandered around Ivy's hideout. She saw exotic plants growing all over the place. Moss and ivy covered all the walls. She found out that automatic water and fertilizer systems kept the plants living and growing until Poison Ivy could make it back to check on her plants.

"Pity I couldn't have gotten something similar for Bud and Lou." Harley thought sadly to herself. Sitting down at a garden table in the room Harley lowered her head to cry. But after a moment she looked up with a determined look on her face. She might have lost her 'babies' but she wasn't going to lose Ivy to the Joker. And there was only one way Harley could think of to keep Ivy safe. They had to get out of Gotham.

Reaching over she pulled a long piece out of one of the canvas bags that contained fertilizer and searching a bit longer she found a black felt tip pen.

Concentrating for all she worth she began to list out on the canvas material all the electronic parts the Joker had used in his sonic device. She had been with the Joker for every theft and one thing Harley had was an extremely good memory.

Looking at her list one last time Harley added a few more things and then rolled the material into a rough tube. Realizing she left her purse behind, she with a grimace unzipped the top part of her costume and stuffed the list between her breasts and then zipped the costume back up.

"The fertilizer on that canvas really stinks. After this is over I need to have a good shower or bath or Ivy won't want to touch me. Then again, Ivy might consider the smell of fertilizer to be a turn on." Ivy thought with a grin.

Pulling another section of canvas off of yet another bag of fertilizer she quickly wrote out a note for Ivy. Placing the make shift note on the bed beside Ivy, Harley then grabbed up two of the black bags filled with the Joker's money and made her way out of the secret entrance and left the warehouse.

Making her way along in the darkness Harley made for the harbor area of Gotham City. Fortunately Ivy's place was fairly close to where she wanted to go so she hoped she could get there and back before Ivy woke up.

Going down a pitch black alley Harley suddenly froze. She couldn't explain what caused it. A sound, a subtle scent or maybe just a flicker at the corner of her eyes but for whatever reason Harley couldn't force herself to move. Harley stayed perfectly still for almost five minutes. Finally deciding it was just her paranoia she was just about to go on when she saw a black shadow flit across the moon. Holding her breath and trying to keep her heart from beating out of her chest she watched the Batman swung down on a cable and landed near the end of the alley she was in and slowly walk over to a huge pile of boxes. As he neared the boxes they shifted and folded in a manner Harley couldn't really explain. When the transformation was over with the Batmobile was revealed. Batman leapt into the driver's compartment of the strange car and drove off.

"He's not looking for me or Ivy. He's not looking for me and Ivy. He was just doing one of his nightly patrols and it is a coincidence he almost stumbled over me." Harley desperately chanted in her mind.

Finally convincing herself that the Batman was long gone, Harley continued on her way.

Reaching the harbor area Harley headed for an elaborate and someone would say gaudy nightclub located directly over the water. The Penguin's Place.

Oswald Cobblepot's driving force in life was to be a somebody. To be recognized by Gotham's elite and be respected. He tried to fund this goal by crime but after one too many run ins with the Batman he decided to try a new dodge. By appearing to go legitimate. So he built a huge nightclub and to all appearances became a law abiding business owner. Everyone who was in crime knew however that the Penguin still kept his underworld connections.

Harley knew that under one of the many piers that supported the nightclub there was a catwalk that lead to an iron door with a button. If you knew where to go and got to the door and pressed the button, the Penguin would either let you in to do business or just ignore the visitor till they got bored and went away or… If the Penguin really disliked the person seeking a clandestine meeting with him, he could press a button collapsing the catwalk dumping the visitor into the cold waters of Gotham Bay.

Pulling back a sleeve, Harley checked her watch. It was now 3 a.m. The Penguin's Place had been officially closed for an hour and the place appeared to be deserted. Making her way to the pier that the catwalk was hidden under, Harley took a deep breath and hopped the Penguin hadn't gone legit completely and had the catwalk shut down all together.

"If he has, then I'm going to get my bath a lot faster than I had planned on." Harley thought to herself. Grabbing the railing around the pier's footing she leapt over it and swung underneath. Flipping through the air with her eyes closed, Harley felt the cold hard metal of the catwalk under her feet. The floor of the narrow catwalk was actually below the water line with metal sides that created only a two foot span between the water's edge and the roof of the pier above it preventing the water from flooding the walkway.

"Wow." Harley said out loud. "That jump and landing was worthy of Catwoman herself. Ivy's blood is really a marvelous thing."

Quickly trotting up to the iron door Harley pressed the button and waited.

The Penguin was sitting at a desk in his private office going over the bills of the nightclub/casino. Sometimes the legitimate business world was more harrowing than his previous life of crime had been. Not only did the Penguin have to deal with bills and waitresses always trying to cheat him of his share of their tips, he also had to fight deadly boredom as well.

Reaching out he picked up a sardine from a can on his desk and slurped it down. Taking another sardine he then negligently flipped it over his shoulder into the holding pen his pet penguins were in. The penguins had been legally imported and he had full papers on them. They were part of his grand center display in the nightclub.

Hearing a buzzing noise he hadn't heard in a long time, the Penguin glanced up curiously from his paperwork. It was a little after 3 but that didn't bother Penguin all that much. He was more of a 'night owl' than an 'early bird' and the type of people he got at that hidden door usually came in the middle of the night anyway.

Looking at a monitor at his desk he saw the person standing at the door waiting was Harley Quinn. Pressing a few buttons he checked several other cameras to make sure she was by herself and that grinning maniac the Joker wasn't with her.

Satisfied that she was really alone, the Penguin pondered two buttons on the control panel in front of him. One would plunge the catwalk into the water and the other would open the door. His finger hovered above the buttons and he moved his finger from one to the other for a few moments before his curiosity won out and he hit the one to open the door.

Harley was beginning to wonder if there was anyone at all left inside the building when the iron door suddenly slid open. Straightening her back she marched into the opening.

The Penguin adjusted his monocle and slicked his hair back as he waited for Harley to walk the short distance down the corridor to his private office.

"Hey Pengy. Glad you decided to talk to me." Harley began as she walked in.

The Penguin held up a hand. "Where is that leering, lowbrow, lout of yours?" He asked gruffly.

"You mean the Joker? Me and him had a falling out. I'm not with him any more."

"Lover's spat?" Penguin said leaning back in his chair.

"You could say that. I think the magic has gone out of a relationship when one partner tries to kill the other one more than twice in one day. Don't you?"

The Penguin gave a chuckle and visibly relaxed slightly. "So what do you want with this old bird? I can't remember the last time a beautiful young woman came to me in middle of the night. Well willingly anyway."

Harley unzipped the top of her costume and reaching in pulled out the scrap of material and tossed it on the desk.

The Penguin's eye twitched and his eyebrow rose at Harley's exposed cleavage but then he glanced down at the material with writing on it on his desk and scanned it.

He looked up after a moment with a touch of surprise.

"There isn't anything classified or illegal on this list. The audio equipment you could walk into any stereo electronic store and purchase." Penguin paused as he continued to read. "The computer circuit boards at any general electronic store." Suddenly he stopped reading and took a sniff of the material.

"Whew! Where are you getting your stationary Harley? This thing reeks."

"Um sorry. It was the only thing I could find to write on. Can you purchase everything on that list for me?"

Penguin looked over at her puzzled. "Is there some reason you came to me to be your 'secret shopper'? As I said earlier none of this equipment is particularly difficult to get your hands on, either legally or otherwise."

"I want it purchased by different people and then shipped in secret to a warehouse. The address is on the 'paper'. I want to make sure that none of that equipment can be traced back to me, either by the Bats or by Mr. J. if he comes looking. If the equipment was stolen Bats or Mr. J. might put two and two together and I don't want that, any problems with that?"

The Penguin leered at Harley. "That kind of confidentiality will cost extra." He said as he rose from his chair and started to walk around the desk towards her.

"Whoa!" Harley said as she zipped up her costume while backing up. Reaching around behind her she pulled the two bags she was carrying. Opening the bags she pulled out bundles of cash and tossed them on the desk. "I think that will cover the cost of the equipment plus the extra to cover your expenses.

Penguin looked at the pile of cash and then let his eyes wander across her body once again.

Harley pulled another two wrapped bundles of cash and added it to the pile on the desk.

The Penguin considered for a moment and then nodded his head. "That'll cover it."

Harley made her way back to Ivy's hideout without any further mishaps. A fact she was deeply grateful for. She was exhausted. Ivy's blood transfusion energy rush was finally wearing off and Harley was desperately hoping she could make it back to the safety of Ivy before she passed out completely.

Fumbling at the hidden catch she finally managed to ease open the secret door in the warehouse and slipped inside. To only blink owlishly as bright lights came on. She found herself looking across the room at Ivy who was sitting in the chair Harley had used earlier that night. Harley noticed that sometime while she was gone Ivy had changed out of the Arkham prison grays and was now wearing her trademark costume with green leggings. Ivy had her arms folded across her chest and was looking very pissed of.

Once in the past Harley had slipped out at night on the Joker to get some fresh air and when she came back she found the Joker with an almost exact same look on his face. He had beaten her so severely for being out without his permission that Harley had carried bruises on her for many months afterwards.

"Hey Ivy. What's wrong?" Harley asked nervously.

"Where did you sneak off to when I was asleep? Who did you see?" Ivy practically hissed at her.

"I left you a note." Harley replied.

Ivy waved around the tattered piece of canvas material. "Ivy. Had some business to attend to, be back soon. Love Harley."

Harley nodded her head.

"What man did you sneak out to see?" Ivy growled as she rose from her chair and headed towards Harley.

"I went to see the Penguin about obtaining the equipment we will need to build that sonic device to open the portal to another world I told you about." Harley said backing up against the closed secret door. She hated to admit it but Ivy was starting to scare her.

Ivy pulled to a halt a few feet from her. "The Penguin?"

Harley nodded.

Ivy considered for a moment before relaxing. "Okay, not even my jealousy can make me think you would be doing anything with that ugly old bird." She looked up to find it was now Harley's eyes flashing in anger.

"What! You thought I had slipped out to meet a guy for…" Harley sputtered for a moment. "I tell you that I have never had sex with a guy; that I have never had sex with anyone before and you accuse me of acting like some slut? Some cheap Gotham street whore just looking for someone to throw my legs open for!"

It was now Ivy's turn to nervously back away. "Now I didn't mean it like that. I was just afraid that you might…" She trailed off.

"What? Meet some nice hobo bum outside in the gutter and decide to elope with him?" Harley growled as she started to stalk towards Ivy.

"I just woke up and found you gone and was afraid you might not come back." Ivy said in a quieter voice. "I don't want to lose you Harley."

"You idiot!" Harley nearly yelled. "I don't want to lose you either. That is why I went to Pengy to get him to get the material we need to escape from the Joker. Don't you know if the Joker comes looking for us what he most likely will do? He'll try to torture you to death in front of me to hurt me. I couldn't live if I was the reason you died!"

Ivy rushed over to Harley and took her in her arms. "I'm sorry Harley. I really am. I don't know what has got into me. I usually don't care what anyone does but when it comes to you, I just lose it."

Ivy could feel as Harley's anger seeped out of her and the younger woman started to slump in her arms.

"Harley? What's wrong?" She asked.

"Just so tired. I'm exhausted." Harley mumbled. With her anger now leaving her, she remembered how tired she really was.

With Ivy's help, Harley stumbled over to the circular flower bed and allowed Ivy to lay her out on it. Within seconds Harley was out cold and gently snoring.

Ivy looked down at her and pulled the hood of her costume away so she could see and stroke Harley's blond hair. "Yet once again I have you in my bed and still I can't do anything." Ivy told her with a slight grin. Bending down she kissed Harley on the forehead and lay down beside her to get some more sleep herself.


	8. Chapter 8

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 8

As Ivy woke, the first sight to greet her was Harley's face a mere few inches away from her. Sometime in the night they both had turned towards each other on the flower bed and Ivy was so close to Harley she could feel the heat of Harley's body.

"I was right about one thing. The sight of Harley first thing in the morning is something I could really get used to." Ivy thought to herself with a grin.

Being oh so careful, Ivy reached out a hand and rested it on Harley's hip and slowly started to caress her waist back and forth.

Harley still asleep began to smile. Ivy was so close, it would only take slight effort to bring her lips to Harley's and kiss her.

Even asleep Harley's breathing became deeper and faster. "Oh Red." She finally breathed out.

"YES." Ivy thought triumphantly. "It wasn't just one time at Arkham, Harley does dream about me."

Ivy was just about to wake Harley and help her with her 'education' when she noticed the pleased smile on Harley's face disappear to be replaced with one of stark terror. Harley's breathing which had deepened with desire was now starting to come in quick fearful gasps.

"No! Please Mr. J. I'll do anything just don't hurt Red. NO. NO." Harley finally gave a ragged scream and sat bolt upright on the flowerbed.

Gasping and shaking Harley wrapped her arms around herself and rocked back and forth a few times.

"Harley! What's wrong?" Ivy said as she quickly let up beside her and wrapped her arms around the smaller woman.

"Nightmare." Harley replied and swallowed several times before she could continue. "You and I were in this dark dank room, you were telling me how beautiful I was and started to kiss me and the Joker burst in. He tied us up back to back and hung us from the ceiling. Mr. J. came around in front of me and showed me a large sharp knife and then walked around to your side. I heard you scream and Mr. J. say, 'just like skinning a hyena.' He then crossed back to my side and he was covered in blood and grinning at me. He then said, 'your turn now Harley gal and do try not to get your blood on me like that plant bitch did.' That was when I woke up."

"It was just a dream Harley. It means nothing." Ivy said as she tried to hug the woman even closer.

"No." Harley yelled and leapt out of Ivy's arms. "We have to get out of here Red. Mr. J. will find this place easily enough. We have to go somewhere to hide out he won't think to look for."

Ivy frowned and lay back down on the flower bed and looked over at the distraught Harley. "Don't be silly Harley. Not even the Batman found this place. He captured me while I was trying to steal some rare plant toxins. This place is safe enough."

"Ivy! Come on. It's an abandoned exotic plant store. How hard do you really think it would be for the Bats or Mr. J. to figure out where you would hide?"

Ivy frowned but then replied. "Gotham is filled with these places. The rich and elite always want fancy plants to lighten up their dreary homes but the air here is so polluted the plants don't live long and the stores end up closing. What makes you think Batman or the Joker would come directly to this one?"

"So they try them all. Sooner or later they will find this one."

"You don't even know that the Joker has escaped from Arkham yet." Ivy pointed out.

Harley paused in her nervous pacing. "That is true. What I wouldn't give to see a news broadcast so I could at least panic properly if Mr. J. was out and about."

Ivy stretched on the flowerbed and raised herself up on one elbow. "Oh really? Well now I can help with that." Waving a hand she caused some of the ivy hanging on a back wall to slowly part revealing a television set. Searching in the thick moss of the flowerbed for a second she pulled out a remote and clicked the TV on.

"So what will you give me?" Ivy purred at Harley.

Harley sat down at the edge of the flowerbed and watching the television like a hawk didn't respond.

Ivy after a moment frowned and just turned up the volume on the TV.

"Good morning Gotham City. This is Gotham Morning Alive, bringing you all the news and entertainment so you can start your day. As we reported earlier this morning, we have a Arkham alert. Yes inmates from Arkham have escaped once again and citizens of Gotham are warned to take the normal precautions. Katie?" The man on the TV said and turned to a typical TV newscaster like female sitting on a couch beside him.

"Thank you Matt." The woman smiled at her male counterpart and then turned to look seriously into the camera. "It is reported that sometime yesterday the two dangerous female inmates known as Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy escaped from Arkham. It is reported that the renowned doctor Charles Krantz and a nurse named Rachel Cratchet were killed as well."

"Wow. The nurse's name really was Cratchet. Weird." Ivy muttered to herself.

"So Quinn and Ivy killed them?" The man named Matt asked Katie.

"Actually the police report that a guard at Arkham says no. The guard named Johnny Redstone says the nurse killed Doctor Krantz because she was being paid by another famous inmate of Arkham, namely The Joker. Family members of nurse Cratchet vehemently deny the accusations."

Harley glanced over her shoulder at Ivy. "Johnny is an Indian? He didn't look like it."

Ivy shrugged. "Family name. No telling how many generations he is removed."

On the television, the two hosts continued to try and look deeply serious as they continued.

"And the nurse's death?" Matt prompted.

"The guard says Poison Ivy is responsible but that she claimed it was in self defense as the nurse tried to kill her and Quinn. Gotham police are investigating." Katie replied.

"See Harley? They mentioned the Joker only in passing. He must still be safely locked up." Ivy said and leaned forward to wrap her arms around Harley's shoulders.

Harley and Ivy could see someone hand the man on TV known as Matt a piece of paper.

"This just in. Arkham has announced that The Joker has also escaped from Arkham early this morning. Two guards were found dead with the Joker's trademark smile on their faces. The names of the guards are being withheld until their family members are contacted. We here at Gotham Morning Alive will stay up to date on this and we'll let our viewers have more information when it becomes available. Till then Gothamites remember the usual rules for things like this. Avoid contact with Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy and the Joker at all costs and notify the police if you see them…"

Ivy shut the TV off as she felt Harley stiffen beneath her hug.

"He's out." Was the only thing Harley said for a moment. She then turned to look fearfully at Ivy. "Do you think one of the guards killed was Johnny?"

Ivy felt like giving a careless shrug but resisted. "No. For one thing after the day Johnny had yesterday, you know even Arkham would have sent him home once they found him in the Infirmary. And secondly, you heard them say the guards had the Joker's grin on them. That means they were killed by Joker Venom. Johnny would have been immune to it. He was given the cure for it yesterday, remember?"

Harley relaxed slightly. "Yeah that's true. It takes at least three days before the cure wears off and you can be re-poisoned with Joker Venom so Johnny must be okay." Harley leapt out of Ivy's embrace and began to pace nervously.

"I know Mr. J. He'll go to his secret hideout first. The one where Bud and Lou…Where Bud and Lou used to be. He'll see his destroyed painting. Oh god Red. He loved that painting of him. He captured a famous portrait painter that was doing an exhibition in Gotham at the time to paint it for him. He tortured her horribly until she got the painting exactly the way he wanted it to be. He'll be royally pissed when he sees what I did to it." Harley said wringing her hands in apprehension.

"What did he do with the artist after she finished the painting?" Ivy asked curiously.

Seeing the color drain from Harley's face didn't speak well for the artist's survival after she finished.

"He sent her to the Gotham Art Museum." Harley replied tensely.

"He released her?"

"No, he sent her back to the museum in gallon paint cans. It took twenty-three of them for all of her body." Harley replied and rushed over to check the hidden door to the hideout. "What time is it Ivy?"

Ivy watched the nearly panic stricken woman nervously checking and rechecking the lock on the hidden door and then staring up at the overhead skylight. "It's nearly ten thirty. Why?"

Harley turned to look at Ivy and her eyes grew even wider in panic. "If the Joker escaped early then he has already had time to make it back to his hideout, find the destroyed painting and maybe trace us here. You were exhausted last night Ivy and I didn't know where the hideout was so I couldn't take precautions on obscuring our trail. I probably left a trail a mile wide that the Joker could follow!"

"Harley! You are becoming a basket case! Calm down! We're safe here. The Joker won't find us here." Ivy said as she got up from the flower bed to try and take Harley into her arms to calm the frantic woman down. A loud explosion from the other side of the hidden door side tracked her though and she raced to the door and opened a peephole to peer out.

"It's him isn't it!" Harley whispered hoarsely as she raced to her side.

"I don't know." Ivy replied. All she could see through the peephole was bright and lurid flames. The front part of the abandon store was on fire.

"Come out; come out where ever you are." An ominously familiar voice sing-songed through a megaphone, it was followed by maniacal laughter. "I've always preferred my vegetables to be deep fried." The Joker's voice added.

Harley clutched Ivy's arm tightly. "Tell me you have another way out of here Red!"

Ivy nodded. "Of course. I'm not so inexperienced as to not have an escape route." She walked over to the flower bed that served both of them as a comfortable bed the night before and feeling around on the low circular wall she pressed a hidden switch. The whole circular flower bed slid across the floor revealing a stairwell leading down.

Harley walked over and taking a sniff she looked in question at Ivy.

"Yeah it leads to the sewers." Ivy admitted.

The fire in front of the store was starting to cause the wall to smoke as the bags of fertilizer on the other side caught fire.

Harley raced over to the black bags containing what was left of the Joker's money she had stolen, grabbing them up she then ran back to the sewer escape hole.

"Any port hole in a storm." Harley said and leapt into the hole.

Ivy frowned for a moment and pausing only to grab the lab coat she had taken off earlier that night and shrugging into it she then followed Harley down. She couldn't make up her mind if Harley was so desperate to escape from the Joker she went first or she went first in case some of the Joker's henchmen had found the secret sewer escape route to try and protect Ivy."

Harley and Ivy came up from the sewers several blocks away. They had met no one in the dank sewer system and once again Harley insisted she go up first. Looking back in the direction of the now destroyed abandoned plant store, Ivy and Harley could see black plumes of smoke and hear fire engine sirens. The Joker of course would have been long gone before the first emergency vehicle arrived.

"That Clown bastard destroyed my plants!" Ivy growled.

Harley sadly nodded her head. "He'll keep destroying too. Plants, animals, buildings, and people, anything to cause me pain and bring me one step closer to be destroyed.

Ivy turned to look at Harley and saw her staring intently at her. "Red? Why don't you leave me? I'll be all right and once the Joker knows you are no longer with me, he'll leave you alone. I'll give you the location of the warehouse I'm having the Penguin deliver the equipment to and you can join me in two days when the portal generator is ready and escape with me… Or escape without me if I'm not there."

Ivy grabbed a hold of Harley's arms before she could run off. "I am not leaving you to fend for yourself Harley! We are in this together!" Ivy smiled slightly at her. "Besides, I don't know how to put the equipment you are having delivered together to build this 'portal generator'. Only you know how to hook it up." Ivy was hoping to get a smile out of Harley. Instead Harley only nodded her head after a moment. "We better find somewhere else to hide then." She said as she turned away.


	9. Chapter 9

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 9

The somewhere else turned out to be a less than respectable hotel in an even less than respectable part of town than the abandoned warehouse area had been. Hookers, drug addicts and petty criminals were the only ones to frequent this area. The good respectable Gotham citizens tried to pretend areas like this didn't exist but all that did of course was to cause such areas to flourish.

"If you could call decay, rot and hopelessness to be flourishing." Ivy thought to herself as she peered out of the grimy window of her and Harley's room. Ivy could see from her room's window the hotel's sign. Gotham Six. Some punks had painted out the i in the six and scrawled in spray can paint above it a u.

"Gotham Sux. Couldn't have said it better myself." Ivy wryly thought. Looking across the room she watched as Harley removed her pigtails from her hair and brushed her blond hair out. Harley was wearing a faded flowery dress that she had stolen off a apartment building's clothesline they had came across on their way here. As she had reminded Ivy, not many people knew what she looked like outside of her harlequin costume. They had stolen the clothing and Harley had been the one to rent the hotel room while Ivy had hidden around the corner. Ivy's face and distinctive red hair was too well known in Gotham.

"Do you have to remove the pigtails?" Ivy asked as she flopped down on the none too clean bed.

"They are too much me." Harley muttered as she tugged the brush through her hair. "Remove them and brush my hair out and I look like any other cheap blond in Gotham."

Ivy frowned and replied. "You run yourself down one more time and I will take that brush away from you and spank you with it." Ivy let an evil grin cross her face. "As a matter of fact that sounds like it might be fun." Ivy immediately dropped the grin when she saw the brief but very real look of fear cross Harley's face. "Harley? What's wrong?" She asked.

"Hmm? Oh nothing. Just worried about all the equipment I need to put together and make sure works." Harley said a trifle too fast and went over to the rickety plywood writing table in the room and started drawing plans out on some paper the hotel 'generously' supplied the rooms with.

Ivy moved across the room to crouch next to the smaller woman. "Let me guess. The Joker once beat you with a brush?"

Ivy thought for a moment that Harley was either not going to answer her or deny it but Harley's shoulders slumped a moment later and she nodded her head. "I made the mistake of using his brush one time so he beat me with it and then re-beat me with my own so I would always know the difference between the two."

Ivy wrapped her arms around Harley's shoulders. "You know I was just joking Harley." Ivy winced as she realized the term joking might not have been the best considering the individual they had just been talking about. "I would never tie you up or spank you unless that is what you wanted. I don't want you to ever have a reason to fear me Harley."

"I know you won't hurt me Ivy. I trust you." Harley stated quietly.

"Look, why don't you tell me a little more about this 'Tenchi' world you are going to send us to?" Ivy said in an effort to take Harley's mind off of the Joker and what he had done to her in the past. "I mean you said that this Tenchi person has a whole bunch of women staying with him. Is he some kind of playboy?"

"Tenchi?" Harley asked and then laughed. "Hardly. I think all the attention the women who stay with him pays him scares him a little."

"So how did all those women end up at his place then?" Ivy asked this time genuinely curious.

Harley proceeded to relate to Ivy the story that Mihoshi had explained to her about the women's arrivals at Tenchi's quiet home, all the while Harley continued to sketch out and draw the plans for the sonic device.

Thirty minutes later Ivy pulled away from the embrace she had kept on Harley the entire time and moved so she could look Harley in the eye. "So let me get this straight. There is a space pirate, a mad scientist, who just happens to be the mother of the space pirate, a princess of an entire alien empire and her sister who of course is also a princess and to top it all off, a galactic cop living with this guy?"

Harley gave a slight laugh. "Yeah I know. That was my reaction at the time too. Somehow it seems to work though."

Ivy shook her head as she walked over to the bed once again and picking up a remote she flipped on the nearly ancient TV in the room. "And you want to add two criminals from another dimension to that mix as well?"

"Well not to the mix so to speak. I don't want to stay with Tenchi like the other women; I just hope he can find us some area of our own where we can live. I mean it would be nice to be close enough we could visit all of them but I don't want to live in that confusion." Harley stated.

Ivy nodded her head but secretly she had her doubts. She couldn't help but notice how Harley's eyes lit up whenever she mentioned this Tenchi guy. It could be totally harmless and Harley really was just interested in finding a safe place for the both of them but Ivy's jealous and suspicious mind wouldn't leave it alone.

Ivy flipping through the channels on the TV was surprised to see the TV was hooked up to cable.

"Bet the owner of this hotel is stealing the cable." She thought to herself.

Ivy not being the soap opera type of girl rapidly and slightly annoyed flipped through the channels quickly only stopping when she came across the all news network.

First rule of being a criminal when you have access to a TV, find a news channel. You never know when they might be doing a story on you and give you advanced warning the cops were coming.

"Crap! Crap! Crap!" Harley said in a loud voice and then let her head drop down to thunk on the rickety table.

"What is it?" Ivy asked.

"I forgot about the power usage of the portal generator. I was told by the Batman that was how they found the warehouse Puddin and I used so quickly. The power drain blew out lights and electricity for blocks around the warehouse."

Ivy frowned at Harley's slip. It was obvious that Harley herself hadn't realized her slip.

"If I build another sonic portal device and turn it on, it'll draw the attention of Batman and Mr. J. instantly. If they don't show up to stop us they'll follow us through the portal to Tenchi's world and I can't let that happen."

Ivy shrugged her shoulders. "I wasn't exactly crazy about the idea of traveling to another dimension in the first place. Forget it and we'll escape from Gotham and move down south to the Amazon jungle. The pollution levels down there are still low enough we can live for a few years in perfect comfort."

"I don't want to live with you for a few years in comfort Ivy…" Harley said looking across at Ivy.

Ivy doubts and fears about Harley's feelings for her resurfaced instantly.

"I want to live happy, safely and in comfort with you forever!" Harley finished.

Ivy mentally sighed a sigh of relief.

"Then don't worry about it Harl, we'll think of something to get around the power problems." Ivy told her.

Both women glanced over at the TV at the news story that was being introduced when they heard mentioned Bruce Wayne's name.

"It was announced today that entrepreneur and corporate head Bruce Wayne revealed today that Wayne Enterprises has finished a prototype of a new power generator. We go to his press conference that was recorded earlier."

Harley rose from her chair and walked over and sat down on the bed beside Ivy to see the screen better. She could see a strikingly tall and handsome man with coal black hair standing behind a podium. She recognized Bruce Wayne instantly. Well everyone in Gotham knew Wayne on sight but her and Ivy knew him even better than most. Ivy and her had kidnapped the businessman once during the Christmas season and had forced him with the help of Ivy's male control lipstick to buy them expensive gifts. It had been just a lark at the time, a way to overcome their holiday blues. Wayne had escaped and been rescued by Batman of course.

"The new power core can generate massive amounts of energy and it does it without consuming fossil fuels or polluting. Here at Wayne Enterprises we have run probability tests and have found that if we don't come up with a cleaner power source within the next five years then the earth may reach a point where industrial pollution cannot be stopped or reversed so we've made it a priority to invent one. I'm proud to announce the creation of the first prototype of the new energy core."

"He's wrong you know." Ivy replied distracting Harley's attention.

"Wrong about what?"

"The earth passed the midway point two months ago by my calculations. Nothing can save this planet any more. His new energy core while a marvel of male invention is just too late. It can only delay the inevitable collapse of the environment a few decades at best."

Harley tuned out the rest of the broadcast to stare at Ivy in horror. "Are you sure Red?"

Ivy shrugged casually. "It was why I went into Eco-terrorism in the first place Harley. I was an environmental scientist and long ago I realized that mankind had dug itself into a hole that we couldn't possibly climb out of if we continued as we have. I tried to publish my conclusions and test results but the scientific community dismissed them as being anti-progress and fear mongering. I turned to crime as a last resort in hopes of shocking people into seeing for themselves."

"That is why you said if we went down to the Amazon jungles we could live for a FEW years in peace and comfort." Harley stated.

Ivy just shrugged.

"Then it makes it even more important that we get out of here and make it to Tenchi's world Ivy! His earth is still clean and pure…" Harley let her sentence drift off as she turned back to the TV. On the screen was a black box about the size of a large suitcase.

"The prototype will need further tests to prove itself but we at Wayne Enterprises hope to mass produce the device for cars and power generating needs of cities within the next two years." Wayne's voice came from the TV.

Ivy sadly shook her head. "Far too late Wayne, but I do have to give you credit for at least noticing there is a problem."

Ivy turned to look at Harley. "But there is the solution to our problem."

"Huh?"

"The power generator Harley. We can steal it and use it to power your dimensional thing. If it can generate enough power for a city, surely it has enough power to run the portal generator."

"But Ivy, he said it was a prototype. If we steal it, they might not have another working copy. It could set their research back two or three years and if that happens it might really be the end of this world." Harley replied nervously.

"So? I'm telling you my past research is correct Harley. This world is done for. Wayne's toy will only delay the inevitable. And what is more important? That this planet gets a few more years of lingering on or we escape to somewhere safe?"

Harley didn't look too pleased but was considering it.

"And think of the fun we'll have stealing it? A last 'girl's night out' before we escape to Tenchi's world and give up crime and go legit." Ivy leaned towards Harley and said persuasively.

Harley slowly began to grin. "It would be fun to have one last big job. Just to celebrate our becoming honest women once we get to Tenchi's world of course." She added.

"And I can't think of anything more fun than making an 'honest' woman out of you." Ivy replied with a lustful grin as she leaned in even further towards Harley.

Harley leapt to her feet and began to pace causing Ivy who was off balance to fall over on the bed and land face first.

"We'll have to make plans." Harley muttered to herself not noticing Ivy. "The power core is bound to be well guarded. You make any type of news announcement in this city and you know you are just advertising for someone to try and steal it."

Ivy still lying prone on the bed sighed.

In the Batcave, Batman watched his alter ego Bruce Wayne on the news on the large central monitor before turning to look at smaller monitors.

"Do you think it is wise Master Bruce to release technology you have developed for your own use to the general public?" His butler Alfred standing behind his chair asked him.

Batman picked up a large bound document and handed it over his shoulder to Alfred. "Do you know what this is?" He asked.

Alfred taking the document paged through it slightly.

"Well at first glance it would seem to be some kind of a thesis from one Pamela Isley on the destabilizing influences that pollution has on world environments." Alfred replied.

Alfred then did a double take and studied the document even closer.

"Is this Pamela Isley…?"

"Poison Ivy? Yes. This was the last official work she released before taking up a life of environmental terrorism." Batman replied as he continued to work on the computer before him. "She reaches the conclusion that unless extreme measures are taken the world will reach a point where it can no longer purify itself and even if all forms of pollution are stopped instantly, the world will still die. Her conclusions are we passed that point a short time ago."

"Dear me. Is she correct?" Alfred asked.

"My and the Batcomputers calculations show that she missed it by a few years. The point of 'no return' hasn't been reached yet. This world still has about four years before that point. If enough counter measures are enacted before that time, this planet's decline can be halted and reversed."

"Ah. So that is why you are releasing the power core technology you developed for the Batcave and the Batmobile to the world as a new prototype generator?"

"Yes. If I were to suddenly release a fully working and tested power generator to the world there might be difficult questions on how it was developed in secret. By stating it is only a prototype under testing it will make it less likely that anyone will get suspicious when I release the technology next year. I can just have Bruce Wayne state in a news conference that the prototype worked far better than was expected."

"Speaking of Poison Ivy." Alfred said as he handed the large document back to Batman. "Are there any clues to her and Harley Quinn's whereabouts? And what of the Joker?"

"Nothing at the moment. I have the Batcomputer doing constant searches for any plant or joke themed crimes being committed but Ivy and Quinn it would seem are staying out of sight. As for the Joker? Other than a suspicious fire at an abandoned plant store this morning, there has been nothing."

"Do you believe that the Joker is still maintaining his vendetta against Miss Quinn?"

"She crossed him Alfred. She protected someone the Joker had decided to kill. The Joker's personality is by nature a manic one. Once he sets his mind on something, nothing will stop him till he accomplishes it. He won't rest till he punishes Quinn."

"Do you believe that Quinn and Ivy are together, plotting some crimes?"

"It's a strong possibility. From the guard at Arkham we know that Ivy did a blood transfusion with Harley to help save her life and those two have worked together in the past. I've also studied Quinn's mental profiles from Arkham. The psychiatrists there state that Quinn has dependency/abandonment issues."

Alfred gave a discreet snort. "Anyone can see that. Why else would she put up with a psychopathic clown beating on her all these years unless she had some problems with being on her own?"

Batman scrolling through a computer file on Harley paused on one of the many photos of her from Arkham. This one was taken after a severe beating by the Joker had left her in the Infirmary for months. It wasn't so much the bruises on her face that disturbed Bruce so much as the lost empty look in her eyes. It reminded Bruce strongly of someone but he couldn't quite place who."

Alfred looking over his shoulder sighed. "She reminds me in that photo of you."

"Why?"

"When the police brought you home after your parents were killed. You had that same lost look on your face. As if you had lost everything in life and didn't know how to pick up the pieces." Alfred explained sadly.

It was impossible to clearly see emotions on Wayne's face when he was wearing the Batman cowl but Alfred could hear the emotion in his voice when he replied.

"I had you Alfred to help me pick up the pieces."

"But who does Quinn have?" Alfred replied. "Do you still believe it was the right thing to do to bring her back from that alternate dimension you found her and the Joker in?"

"Quinn is this dimension's problem. It is unfair to dump our problems on some other dimension."

Alfred nodded his head and turned to leave to continue with his duties but added as he left. "Even if she might have found what she needed to pick up the pieces in that other dimension?"

Batman didn't reply.


	10. Chapter 10

Harley and Ivy: Chapter 10

"It was a dark and stormy night when the two sexy nefarious duos attacked the heavily guarded Wayne Enterprises." Harley thought to herself before giving a snort. Reality is never quite as good as fantasy or as appropriate.

In reality, Wayne Enterprises was only being guarded by a few old guys in security uniforms and as for the weather. It was almost pleasant. Well as pleasant as the weather ever got in Gotham. The air was thick with the perpetual smog the city suffered from but at least the air temperature was not too cold nor too warm.

Harley frowned in annoyance as a stray cold breeze caused her nipples to perk up under her skin tight uniform.

"So much for the temperature being perfect." She thought to herself.

Avoiding the security patrols had been so easy, Harley was bored. Moving easily across the rooftops of the main research lab of Wayne Enterprises she paused and glanced down through a skylight to the floor below.

"Hey Red?" She said at somewhere between the level of a whisper and normal voice.

Ivy was a tad more cautious than Harley was. Her motto was if a job appeared too easy there was something you were missing. "What?" Ivy whispered back.

"Isn't that the power core generator right down there?" Harley said.

Ivy joined her at the skylight and peered down.

Transfixed in the light of five spotlights sat the power core generator on a lab table below them.

"Oh come on." Ivy breathed. "This is no challenge at all. Why doesn't Mr. Wayne just wrap a huge bow on it? Where's the security? The alarms? Not even is it locked in a vault? Oh well. I guess we should be grateful it's going to be so easy and stop pussyfooting around."

"That's my line isn't it?" An almost sensual voice purred out from behind them.

Whipping around, Harley and Ivy saw standing behind them was another skin tight costumed woman. She was wearing a gray costume with a black whip coiled at her hip, black leather boots and gloves finished her ensemble.

Harley having had tried to kill Catwoman a few times, only under the Joker's orders of course, nervously swallowed.

"Um, hi Cats." She finally said.

The glare Catwoman sent her way quickly assured her that Catwoman hadn't forgotten about those times either.

"Aww come on Cats you aren't still mad at me are you?"

Ivy looked between the two women suspiciously. "Is there something I should know about between you two?"

"Only that I plan to use her as a scratching post." Catwoman hissed and started towards Harley. Who quickly sought refuge behind Ivy.

"Aww come on Cats. I was just following the Joker's orders those times I tried to kill you. I failed didn't I?"

"Only because I was saved by Batman!" Catwoman practically roared as she tried to maneuver around Ivy to get at Harley.

"Oh please. Like I didn't know that power switch was behind me when I was confronted by Bats." Harley yelped.

This brought Catwoman to a standstill. In truth that part had always bothered her. It almost had seemed like Harley had lead Batman to the power switch that turned off the grinder that Catwoman had been tied too.

"Then why…?"

"I was ordered to try and kill you by Mr. J. I couldn't go against him. Well not at that time at least."

"So you tied me down to a conveyor belt leading to a meat grinder!"

"Aww come on. I didn't even tie you that tightly." Harley said peeking out from behind Ivy's back.

"And you felt me up!" Catwoman glared.

"I thought you were unconscious when I did that!" Harley replied in shock.

Ivy turned her head to glance over her shoulder at Harley and raised an eyebrow.

"Oops?" Harley replied and then shrank down.

Ivy turned to face Harley and Catwoman walked up beside her. "So you were interested in women even before we got together!" Ivy asked her placing her hands on her hips and staring down at Harley who was now sitting on the edge of the skylight, her face bright red in embarrassment.

Catwoman glanced curiously at Ivy. "You two are together then?"

"Officially but not as of so far physically I am sorry to say." Ivy replied.

"Well I will just let you two lovebirds sort this out among yourselves and take the power core and leave." Catwoman said and started to walk past Ivy. Ivy throwing up a quick hand stopped her however.

"We need that generator for our plans. We'll be taking it."

Catwoman fixed her with a glare. "Look, Gotham has taken away all of my cats and threaten to put them to sleep or adopt them out to sniveling little brats. I need the money that thing can bring me to get them all back. I will be taking the power core!"

"And I need the power core to get Harley away from the Joker to somewhere safe before that maniac clown kills her!"

"See? My need is greater than yours." Catwoman said with a shrug. "Besides, where can you find some place the Joker can't follow you and kill Harley?"

"An alternate dimension!" Ivy was so upset with Harley and Catwoman's attitude she replied without thinking.

Catwoman just blinked a few times. "What?" she finally managed to get out.

"It's true." Harley sitting on the skylight's edge replied. "I know how to build a device that will open a portal to a clean world, one the Joker hopefully won't be able to follow us to. But I need the generator down there to finish it."

Catwoman looked between the two female criminals before her. Finally she replied. "Take me with you."

"What!" Ivy nearly yelled.

"Gotham keeps trying to take my cats away from me. I'll let you take the power core if you promise to take me and my cats with you. Life in Gotham keeps getting worse all the time. Sooner or later my cats won't even be able to survive. Take us with you and the power core is yours."

Harley glanced up at her. "I'm sorry. I can't. I sort of have permission to return to the dimension I know about but I am pushing it by taking Ivy with me. Tenchi would definitely freak if I brought another person as well. Not too mention all your cats. I just can't. For what it's worth Cats, I am really sorry I can't do it."

"Well then… I guess you aren't getting the power core then." Catwoman said as she sprang away from Ivy's side and placed a hand on her whip.

"Actually…" A new male voice called out. "None of you are taking the power core. For one thing, it doesn't belong to you. It belongs to Wayne Enterprises."

"Ah rats." Harley mumbled.

"More like Bats." Ivy replied.

Turning all three women glanced over to the side and saw Batman standing there with his arms folded.

"Ladies night out?" He asked.

"I was just leaving." Catwoman replied and leapt away.

Batman for the moment ignored the fleeing feline and strode over to where Ivy was readying herself for the attack and Harley was just sitting looking miserable.

"Um Bats?" Harley finally spoke. "Look out behind you."

"Do you really think I would fall for the oldest joke in the book?" Batman asked her.

Suddenly a whip lashed around Batman's legs binding them and causing him to fall face forward to land almost at Ivy and Harley's feet.

"I did try to warn you." Harley stated.

Glancing over his shoulder Batman could see that Catwoman had returned and it was her whip that had caught him. Reaching down he disentangle himself from the whip and stood back up. Surprisingly, neither Ivy nor Harley took the opportunity to attack him but just watched.

"Didn't your mommy ever tell you? Never turn your back on a mad kitty?" Catwoman said in a husky voice. She then once again took off running across the rooftop. This time Batman right at her heels.

Ivy looked in surprise at Harley and then together they leapt for the skylight and pried it open. Quickly Ivy lowered Harley down into the main lab with a rope they had brought with them.

Harley grabbed a hold of the power core but almost dropped it when she discovered how light it was. At first she thought it was just a mere prop left behind to trick criminals who might show up to steal it but after shaking it a time or two, lightly of course she had no desire to break what she had come to steal, she concluded it was the real thing just incredibly light in weight. Giving a quick tug on the rope she signaled Ivy to haul her up.

As soon as she cleared the skylight, her and Ivy ducked behind a large cooling vent to examine her prize.

The power core device was as large as suitcase, black with multiple connectors on the side and a simple single large red button on top of it. Conveniently it had a large suitcase like handle to carry it with.

As the two women were examining it, Catwoman suddenly sprang over the vent and landed beside them.

"Lost him for a moment." She said.

Harley peeking around the corner of the cooler vent replied. "You didn't lose him enough. He's right around the corner." She whispered.

"You owe me! I distracted Batman so you could steal that toy. Now you have to take me and my cats with you when you escape this dimension." Catwoman said advancing on the power core.

"For what it's worth Cats, I'm really sorry." Harley replied with a downcast expression.

"You still plan to leave me behind?" Catwoman said.

"Well yeah but that is not why I'm sorry this time." Harley replied. "I'm sorry for this!" And with that she grabbed a hold of Catwoman's arm and with a jerk flung her out from behind the cooler vent directly into Batman's startled arms.

Catwoman looked in shock into a equally shocked Batman's eyes before with a hiss and a swipe of her nails she bolted out of his arms and tore off across the rooftop once again.

As soon as Harley had released Catwoman, she and Ivy ran over to the side of the building and dove over the edge with the power core. Both Ivy and Harley almost as if in synchronization landed on their feet and quickly ducked into the cover of the shadow of a dumpster.

Peering upward, they watched as Batman stood on the edge of the roof above them trying to see where the two female criminals had gone.

Ivy could hear Harley next to her breathing almost silently. "Go after the Cat. Go after the Cat. You know she is the one you want to most capture."

Batman continued for a moment to look down at the gloom between the buildings where Ivy and Harley had disappeared and then glanced across the rooftops were Catwoman was quickly being lost to sight. With a long pause and then a sigh he then took off after Catwoman.

"Yes!" Ivy whispered in relief.

"It's too easy." Harley beside her muttered. "He must have called in the B string to come after us."

"Robin and Batgirl?" Ivy whispered and looked over at Harley.

Harley nodded her head. "It just makes sense. He might want to go after Catwoman more than us but he's not just going to let us go with the loot."

Ivy grabbed Harley around the arm and tugged at her. "Well then let's get out of here. They'll be here soon."

Harley however didn't move. "But after we leave here, we could go almost in in any direction. How would Bats expect the bat kiddies to find us?"

Turning the power core generator over she searched it in the gloom of the alleyway between the labs of Wayne Enterprises.

"Got it!" She nearly shouted in victory and held up in her hand for Ivy to see a tiny little black button.

"Radio transmitter?" Ivy asked as she peered at the tiny item.

"I would bet the entire supply of Joker's exploding rubber chickens that is what it is. No wonder Wayne or Batman wasn't afraid of criminals stealing this thing. They had it bugged so they could follow it."

Harley still holding on to the radio transmitter 'bug' and the power core generator jumped to her feet and began to run off. She briefly stopped to look back at Ivy.

"You coming?" She called out to her.

"What are you going to do with that 'bug'?" Ivy asked as she reached Harley's side. As they leapt over a security fence out of Wayne Enterprises into the large parking lot, Ivy could see Harley was stuffing her mouth with bubble gum.

Loudly chewing, Harley paused at a street intersection and seemed to be looking for something. A few yards away the Gotham City Bus Depot was brightly lit up as the last bus leaving Gotham for Metropolis prepared to depart.

"Perfect." Harley mumbled around the huge wad of gum in her mouth. "I couldn't ask for anything better."

Unzipping the top part of her costume, Harley exposed a healthy portion of her cleavage and reaching in pulled out a compact slingshot. Ivy staring in the gloom of the alleyway, practically drooling at the sight of Harley's cleavage could only wonder what other wonders Harley kept in there. Taking the wad of gum out of her mouth she quickly stuck the radio 'bug' into the middle of it and taking careful aim she fired it out of the slingshot at the bumper of the bus as it pulled out of the station.

Zipping up her costume Harley reached out and captured Ivy's arm once again and pulled her back into the darkness of the alleyway.

They waited almost 20 minutes before two sleek black motorcycles raced past them in the the direction that the bus had gone.

"That takes care of the bat kiddies for a while." Harley said with satisfaction in her voice.

"Now we just need to make sure the Bat Daddy doesn't trace us the old fashion way." Ivy replied.

Harley all ready lifting up a manhole cover lid nodded her head and together the two female criminals dropped into the sewers and was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

Harley and Ivy chapter 11

Harley led Ivy through the sewers without hesitation. Coming to intersections, she would only pause a moment before heading off again. Dim service lights in the tunnels allowed them to see and there were numbers on the walls and intersections but other than that there was no way Ivy could see to tell directions.

"Harley? How do you know where you are going?" Ivy finally asked as Harley paused at yet another intersection.

"Mr. J. once had a plan to flood Gotham with Joker Gas. He was going to use the sewer systems and had me study up on the plans. He finally discarded the idea when I pointed out that Joker Gas is heavier than normal air. The sewers in Gotham are all gently sloped towards the sea. His gas would never get enough lift to rise up out of the sewer but would have been harmlessly dumped into the sea." Harley answered as she studied the numerals on the wall.

"And from that one time you remember the layout of the entire Gotham sewer system?" Ivy said impressed.

Harley glanced back and even in the gloom of the sewer Ivy was struck by the haunted look in Harley's eyes through the mask she wore. "When the Joker tells you to study something and remember it, you study it and never forget it. Even after Joker trashed his gas idea he would months later suddenly ask me which sewer went where and if I couldn't answer him he would punish me for failing to pay attention."

Ivy could just imagine how Joker would punish Harley for failing to remember sewer layouts and not for the first time she wondered how the petite blond had kept from slitting the Joker's throat while he slept one night.

"We're here." Harley finally stated coming to a stop near a ladder leading up to a manhole cover.

"Where?" Ivy asked.

"The hotel where we are staying at. Go up this ladder and the hotel is across the street from it."

Ivy had her doubts but dutifully climbed the ladder first, leaving Harley to carry the power core up and pushed on the manhole cover. After a few moments the cover came free and she pulled herself up.

The first sight to hit her was the burned out remains of the hotel where they had been staying across the street. Sitting in the parking lot of the hotel was a giant gaily wrapped gift box with a Jack in the Box in bright purple clothing leaning drunkeningly out of the top and to one side. In the Jack in the Box's hands was a flame thrower. Police had the area cordoned off and a fire truck was still parked in the parking lot.

The police had a wide area around the Jack in the Box isolated and as Ivy watched sitting on the edge of the sewer entrance in the shadows, a few brave officers would advance on the box and poke it and then quickly dart away.

Obviously the police were afraid there were more tricks to be had in the box than just a surprise arson trick.

"Red?" Harley's voice called up from the sewer. "What's going on? Why don't you move so I can come up?"

"I'm coming back down Harley." Ivy whispered down to her. Even though there was so much noise and action going on across the street she didn't want to chance a cop looking over and spotting her. Carefully Ivy leveraged the manhole cover back in place and descended the ladder.

Harley looked at her in confusion once she reached the bottom.

"Joker has been at our hotel. He left one of his calling cards across from the room we were staying in. A Jack in the Box arsonist." Ivy explained.

Ivy could see the fear leap in Harley's eyes even in the gloom.

"How could he have tracked us to the hotel? I was so careful. I guess I must be more distinctive a blond than I thought." Harley muttered to herself.

Ivy leaned against the ladder. "So where do we go now?" She asked Harley.

"I guess we'll go to the warehouse I have the Penguin shipping the stuff too. While it is awfully close to the one the Joker used, there maybe a chance he won't find it." Harley said after a moment.

Harley handed the power core over to Ivy and once again took the lead.

"Harley are you sure you can find your way down here? I thought only one person knew the sewer system this well?" Ivy asked her at one point on their long journey.

"While Killer Croc might know these systems like the back of his hand, I know enough to find my way." Harley assured her but then stopped in confusion at a dead end.

"But…But… I was sure this was the way!" Harley muttered to herself almost in tears.

Ivy came up beside her and studied the blocked path. "You probably do Harl. This is recent. Probably some Gotham City renewal work. Is there any way around this?" She asked Harley.

Harley glanced over in surprise but almost ecstatic none the less. "You trust me to find a way around this?" She asked hopefully.

"Well of course Harl. You say you know your way around down here I trust you. So, which way to we go?"

Harley back tracked a few yards till she came to a small hole in the side of the sewer wall. The hole was barely large enough for her and Ivy to crawl through. Fortunately there was no water or sludge coming out of it at the moment.

"If we crawl through here it should open up to a parallel main tunnel. With any luck that one won't be blocked and we will come up right across from the warehouses."

Ivy didn't look thrilled but she wasn't going to crush Harley's fragile spirit now. She nodded and started to enter the tunnel first but was stopped by Harley pushing in front of her. "I'll go first." Harley stated and started squirming into the tunnel.

Ivy opened her mouth to protest but stopped and watched Harley's butt as she crawled into the small hole. With a smile she followed along behind Harley dragging the power core behind her.

A short crawl later and Harley found her main tunnel she was looking for and to her relief it wasn't blocked. Finding a ladder she rapidly climbed it. Reaching the top Harley placed her shoulder against the manhole cover and pushed… And found she couldn't budge it in the slightest. "Ivy? Give me a hand I can't get this stupid thing open."

Suddenly Harley felt a hand resting on her inner thigh and slowly starting to creep up till it cupped her crotch.

Standing straight up in shock, Harley didn't even notice the manhole cover she had been braced against pop off like a cork in a champagne bottle.

"Ivy! What are you doing?" She hissed as she stood on the surface and peered down into the gloom of the manhole. She dimly see Ivy's grinning face as she climbed up the remaining few feet to join her.

"You did ask me to give you a hand." Ivy stated with a leer.

Harley shook her head and examined the area they were in. The manhole was in the middle of a open deserted lot. Years of mud and crud had practically sealed the cover and that was why it didn't open at first. Across the street were the warehouses proving that Harley did indeed remember the sewer system. Dawn was just breaking and in the early morning light Harley could see the field they were in was strewn with broken glass bottles, rusty cans and miscellaneous garbage.

"Mr. J. would have been proud of me." Harley muttered to herself.

Hearing a growl, Harley glanced over and saw to her chagrin saw that Ivy must have heard her. Sitting the power core down, Ivy marched over to stand in front of Harley and placed her hands on her hips in anger.

Just as Ivy was about to blast in to Harley, she saw Harley's eyes grow wide looking at something over her shoulder. Before Ivy could turn to look, Harley grabbed a hold of Ivy's arms and twisting threw themselves to the ground, Harley turning her body so Ivy landed on top of her and thus was protected from the garbage strewn ground.

From her prone position on top of Harley, Ivy could see two cars racing down the street between the empty lot and the warehouses. One was brightly painted purple and orange and had two brutish henchmen leaning out of the backseat windows. As Ivy watched the henchmen started firing machine guns back towards the second car.

A massive but sleek looking black car, the Batmobile.

Ivy pressed herself even closer to Ivy as she tried to hide in the tall weeds that covered the empty lot. She even held her breath as the cars raced by not more than a few yards from where her and Harley were lying. After waiting a good five minutes after the cars passed to make sure they weren't coming back she carefully raised herself up and offered a hand to Harley. As Harley rose she couldn't keep a grimace off her face.

"Harley? What's wrong?" Ivy asked and then turning the smaller woman around she could see bits of broken glass and rusty bits of metal had pierced her costume and were sticking in her back.

"You took the fall so I wouldn't get hurt." Ivy said in surprise. She knew that Harley was attracted to her but she just wasn't used to someone trying to protect her from harm like that, of someone actually caring about her.

"Don't worry Red. Your blood will cure me remember?" Harley hissed in pain.

"My blood helps you heal fast and protects from toxins and poisons, that's true but it won't stop infections and you won't heal properly unless we get those shards out of your back first!" Ivy replied with worry in her voice. "Which way is this warehouse of yours? We need to get off the streets in case the Joker or Batman come back."

Harley with Ivy's help stumbled to the roadway. Nodding her head to the left, Harley said. "The warehouse Mr. J. used is that way. I picked one a few blocks this way." Harley then nodded her head to the right.

"Right it is then." Ivy said and started to lead Harley off but suddenly Harley dug her heels in.

"The power core! You can't leave it behind! Without it we are sunk!"

Ivy frowned in annoyance but realizing that Harley wouldn't move without the core she raced back and got it and then returned to her side.

Moving quickly they reached a nondescript warehouse that was just one in many such on the street. All of them appeared to be empty and abandoned.

The only thing that identified this warehouse as being any different than the others was of course its street address and a scrawny looking tree that was dying near the front entrance to the warehouse.

Reaching the entrance Ivy placed her hand against the tree. Immediately the tree sprung to new life and one of its roots pushed open the door to the two story warehouse.

Ivy led the wincing Harley into the empty vast space and took stock. The roof/second story floor was missing quite a few sections leaving huge gaps. Reaching down Ivy rested her hand on the root that had opened the door for them and the root branched upwards carrying her and Harley to the second floor.

"I'll have to rip up your costume so I can get to the glass slivers and remove them Harley." Ivy told her.

"No. I don't have anything else to wear." Harley said and sitting up started to unzip the front of her costume.

Ivy watched enthralled as the zipper slowly lowered and exposed Harley's skin to Ivy's view.

Harley started to squirm and blush under Ivy's scrutiny, turning she exposed her back to Ivy and finished lowering her costume's top.

Ivy caused the tree that had helped her and Harley to the second floor to sprout several oversized leaves and pulling them she laid them on the floor. Motioning for Harley to lie face down on the leaves, Ivy began to pick out the glass shards from her back.

"I need something to clean these wounds so they'll heal cleanly." Ivy muttered to herself. The now mutant tree gave a shudder and a single tendril shot out from the base of it to slither across the ground floor of the warehouse till it came to a first aid kit attached to a distant wall. Crawling upwards the tendril then ripped the first aid case off the wall and continued growing pulling the case along with it. Reaching a hole in the ceiling the tendril continued to slither till it reached Ivy's side.

Finishing pulling the last glass shard from Harley's bare back she glanced down and was surprised to see a medical kit entangled in the crawling plant tendril. Reaching down she lightly caressed the root.

"Why thank you baby! You are such a good plant." She cooed to the plant.

Opening the kit she was disappointed to find the bandages inside were dried out and fell apart at her touch but she was hopeful when she spotted a small brown bottle in the kit. Picking it up she gave it a experimental shake and heard the distinctive slosh of liquid inside. Unscrewing the bottle she smelled the acrid odor of rubbing alcohol.

"This might sting a bit Harley." She warned and dumped the contents on Harley's back and began to gently rub it in.

Harley's only reaction was a slight hiss.

"You are good at tolerating pain." Ivy praised her as she continued to massage the alcohol in.

"Had a lot of practice." Was Harley's only response.

Ivy's hands began to wander, from Harley's rapidly healing back, down her sides till she was lightly caressing and feather touching the sides of Harley's breasts.

"Ivvvyy" Harley groaned in a something between a warning and a moan of desire.

"You want me to stop?" Ivy said teasingly.

"I never want you to stop." Harley breathed. "But now is not the time. Penguin's guys should be here soon with the stuff I ordered."

Ivy was about to tell Harley what the Penguin's men could do but was stopped by the unmistakable sounds of a truck pulling up outside the warehouse. Getting up she made her way carefully over to a window and glanced out.

"Damn it." She muttered to herself. Harley was correct and a truck was slowly backing into the entrance of the warehouse below them. Turning around she saw that Harley had replaced the top of her costume and had zipped it back up.

Harley unknowingly rested one of her hands on the plant tendril that had brought up the first aid kit. "I need someway to get down there so I can make sure they brought everything." She said out loud.

She barely suppressed a squeal of fear as the tendril lashed out and wrapped itself gently around her waist and started to lower her towards one of the holes in the floor/ceiling.

"Ivy are you doing this?" she managed to get out as the plant maneuvered her to lower her through the hole.

Ivy shook her head. "No. It must be all you Harley. The plant is responding to you as it would to me."

A child like look of glee came over Harley's face. "I can talk to plants!" She managed to say before the plant tendril lowered her through the hole.

One of Penguins henchmen looked around the empty warehouse suspiciously. "I say we just take the equipment and sell it somewhere. We can tell Penguin we delivered it and who is to say we didn't?" The man said to the other three guys who were with him.

"I would!" A female voice said from the ceiling and the shocked group watched as a woman slowly lowered from a hole in the ceiling in the grip of what looked like a huge plant vine.

"It's the crazy man hating plant bitch Poison Ivy!" One of the group breathed in fear.

The henchman who had proposed stealing the merchandise, peered closer. "That's not Ivy. It is that Joker's toy, Harley Quinn!"

As Harley came into view the young hoodlums could see that Harley's costume was worse for wear. There were several long rips in the front of it just beneath her breasts and the brief look they got of her back as the plant twisted and grew downwards showed the costume was barely holding together.

The plant tendril continued to lower Harley till she was at ground level near the men.

"I say in addition to the equipment we take Harley too." The self appointed gang leader loudly stage whispered to his gang. "Who would know?"

Hearing a rasping noise near the front entrance the gang turned almost as one to see a second plant tendril lowering down. Sitting calmly in a crook of the tendril was Poison Ivy.

"The crazy man hating bitch me for one!" She growled at the suddenly quivering in fear gang members.

Two of them immediately sprang to the back of the delivery truck and started unloading the equipment the Penguin had hired them to purchase and then deliver.

"You try and double cross the Penguin by stealing merchandise he was hired to deliver, there won't be enough of your bodies left for him to feed those penguins of his." Harley said as the tendril that had gently carried her down uncoiled from her waist. The tendril then rose up behind her and sprouted wicked looking thorns as if it was a guard dog watching the men in front of her and was merely waiting a signal to pounce on them and rip them apart.

The would be gang leader backed nervously away from Harley and her plant protector, only to have something bump into his shoulder. Sparing a glance backwards he nearly wet himself when he realized what had bumped into him was another spiked plant vine coming from the root Ivy was sitting on.

He was saved from becoming mulch by one of the men hauling equipment out of the truck saying something to Harley Quinn.

"We're done Miss Quinn. That's the lot of it."

Harley looked over the pile of electronic equipment and computer parts sitting in the center of the warehouse. The pile dominated by a very ugly looking robotic carnival clown.

"Mr. Penguin wanted us to tell you that was the hardest part to find. They don't make those things any more so he ended up having to steal that from Gotham Police evidence room."

Ivy could see from where she sat as Harley turned pale. She realized that must be the very clown that the Joker used in his attempted death machine turned portal generator. The police must have removed it from the warehouse he had used when the Batman had brought them back.

Taking Harley's pale and slightly shaking form as some kind of encouraging sign, the wannabe gang leader moved towards her.

"Sure you don't want to trade up from the plant queen to a real man?" He asked as he neared to just a few paces from her.

Harley drawn out of her thoughts looked up and smiled sweetly at him but then addressed the men standing near the open truck.

"Boys? You forgot something."

"What Miss Quinn one of the more politer (and more intelligent) gang members asked.

"This." Harley said as the plant behind her lashed out suddenly catching the gang leader in the stomach and hurling him across the room to crash into the back of the now empty truck. "Get that trash out of here and get gone before I call Pengy and tell him how you treat his customers."

"Yes maam." The polite one said and raced to the front of the truck. The others piled into the back with their now unconscious leader and the truck sped off.

Ivy watched them go from her perch on the tree limb. "They'll talk you know. In a very short time everyone in Gotham underworld will know where we are."

Harley grimly nodded her head. "And that means in a very short time Joker and Batman will know it too."

Harley began to rapidly sort through all the component pieces sitting on the floor. The plant tendrils occasionally moving the larger pieces she couldn't by herself. Harley was beginning to quickly understand why Ivy preferred plants over people, especially over men. The plants were helpful, protective and didn't try any cheap come on tactics when you weren't looking.

Harley's eyes grew wide as a small plant tendril reached out and caressed her inner thigh.

"Ivy! I know you told it to do that this time!" She yelled.

"I swear I didn't!" Ivy replied. "He just likes you."

Harley blinked a few times. "It is a he? I didn't know plants had sex."

Ivy swung down on her vine till she was next to Harley. "How do you think little plants get made?"

Harley opened her mouth and then shut it. She thought about it for a moment before looking at a grinning Ivy. "Funny."

"I thought so." Ivy replied as the vine that had been helping Harley suddenly wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer to Ivy.

"Um, now Ivy, I've got work to finish. We don't want to be caught do we?" Harley said nervously.

Ivy frowned. "Party pooper. As soon as we get over to this other world of yours, we are going to have some alone time and if anyone interrupts us I'm going to have a plant turn them into fertilizer."


	12. Chapter 12

Harley and Ivy Chapter 12

Alfred with a raised eyebrow watched Robin and Batgirl as they stood sheepishly in front of him. "So let me get this straight. Harley took the tracking device and…"

"Stuck it in the middle of a wad of gum and stuck it on the bumper of a bus headed to Metropolis." Batgirl repeated her earlier statement."

"So in essence…" Alfred continued.

"We fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book." Robin with a scowl folded his arms across his chest.

"How were we suppose to know?" Batgirl replied defensively. "All we knew was the tracker showed us that Harley and Ivy were headed towards Metropolis. Considering they just made a major theft is it so far fetched that they would head to Metropolis to fence the stolen power core?"

Alfred nodded his head. "You did quite right. It was a reasonable conclusion."

All three looked up as the Batmobile with a squeal of tires pulled in to its customary parking spot on a lower platform in the Batcave. Walking over to the railing they looked down as the driver's compartment opened and Batman climbed out. From the angry way he leapt out and looked up at them, they could tell he didn't have any better news than they did.

"No luck sir?" Alfred ventured being braver or more accustomed to Batman's moments of frustration than Robin or Batgirl.

"Plenty of luck if I was looking for The Joker. I run into him everywhere I've tried but he managed to escape every time." Batman replied as he made his ways to the stairs to join them on the higher platform.

"So it would appear that The Joker has no clue where Harley and Ivy are either?" Alfred continued as Batman reached them.

Batman just nodded.

"At the risk of overstepping my position sir, may I once again suggest that Harley stole the power core in seeking a power source so she may rebuild the Joker's dimensional device to escape with Ivy to this Lord Tenchi person's world rather than planning to fence the device for some quick cash?"

Batman shook his head. "Harley would need access to the same type of equipment Joker used last time. There are no indications of thefts of that type."

Batgirl wandered over to the Batcomputer and typed in some queries just to confirm Batman was right. It was true there were no reported thefts of high tech electronics equipment lately but something else caught her eye. "Would Harley need that ugly laughing clown thing we found in the warehouse along with all the other electronic equipment?"

Batman nodded his head. "The laughter sound effect circuits in it were a vital part of the sonic nature of Joker's weapon and subsequently the portal generator it turned into."

Batgirl gestured to the large monitor and pressing a few buttons she had the information she was viewing on a smaller view screen put up there. On the screen was a report from the Gotham Police department about the breaking into of the Evidence lockup and the theft of only one thing. The amusement park laughing clown.

"But I checked the warehouse Joker used that night and found nothing." Batman replied as he began to rapidly type at the computer console. "It was one of the places today where I ran into the Joker at."

"Implying I would think that the Joker also believes that Harley is trying to escape his grasp by fleeing this world." Alfred pointed out.

Batman sitting at the computer console suddenly sat back. "It would seem that you are right Alfred." He pointed at the screen that was showing a listing of the components needed to build the sonic device and right next to it was a listing of recent purchases all over Gotham that matched it.

Batgirl studied the list. "But some of these items were bought on opposite sides of town at almost the same moment. There is no way with even Ivy's help that Harley could manage to be in this many places at the same time. And the police report about the stolen amusement clown says it occurred at almost the exact same time you were confronting Harley, Ivy and Catwoman over the power core last night."

"So she had some help?" Robin asked as he leaned against the console.

"Who? Joker's henchmen wouldn't listen to Harley and Ivy has always been a solo act, outside of her plant creations she never uses help. So who could Harley get to legally purchase the equipment she needed and to steal the laughing clown?" Batgirl asked.

"There is only one person in Gotham who would dare to cross the Joker by helping Harley for the right amount of money. The Penguin. I think it is time I see a bird about some ladies." Batman replied getting up from the chair and heading back down to the Batmobile.

As Alfred, Batgirl and Robin watched the Batmobile speed away, Robin turned to Batgirl. "At least he didn't ask what happened with our tracking Harley and Ivy last night."

"I would imagine that he concluded you were unsuccessful when no reports of their arrests or positive reports came from you when he came back." Alfred replied as he start to return to his duties.

"You know there is just one thing that bothers me about the whole 'Harley is trying to rebuild the dimensional portal to escape Joker' thing." Batgirl said.

Alfred turned back to look at her. "And what would that be?"

"The Joker built the device in the first place. Couldn't he just recreate it like Harley and chase after her if she does manage to escape?"

Neither Alfred nor Robin had an answer to that.

Ivy watched as Harley worked feverishly to finish the strange device she was building. The ugly mechanical laughing clown was on a slight pedestal in the middle of the warehouse and cables lead away from it to three computer consoles grouped around it.

Harley suddenly pulled her head out from a access panel in the side of one of the consoles and looked like she was about to cry.

"What is it Harl? Can't you remember how it all goes together?" Ivy asked in concern.

"I remember. Its that I just realized that if we escape through the portal there will be no one here to shut it down and destroy it so Mr. J. won't be able to follow us through. I was so anxious to escape I didn't think of that part." Harley explained. Her face went from shock at the realization to one of heartbreak before firming into one of resolve.

"There is no other way. Once I get the portal open, I will go through and find Tenchi, explain who you are and ask him if you can stay with him. Then I shall return through the portal and you will go through and I will stay here to shut the portal down and destroy the equipment." Harley was speaking quietly to herself but Ivy could hear her plainly. Harley's look of resolve didn't change but her eyes did widened as she thought what the Joker would do to her once he caught her after Ivy was gone.

Ivy reached down and roughly pulled Harley to her feet. "Are you out of your mind? I'm not leaving you here to face that maniac. We either go together to this new world of yours or we both stay here!

"But the portal has to be destroyed after we leave or Mr. J. will just follow us!" Harley began to argue.

"Then our friend here can do it." Ivy said reaching out and caressing a branch of the tree that had almost grown to fill the entire warehouse with its roots, branches and tendrils.

Harley's face lit up with hope but almost immediately filled with doubt again. "Can he do it?"

"Of course. I will give him the instructions that as soon as we are gone to trash everything in this room. After our plant baby is done there won't be enough left for them to even figure out what it was."

Harley didn't look entirely convinced but nodded her head anyway. "Then I'll finish the last connections. We should be ready to leave in about another hour I would say."

Harley started to climb back into the computer console but was stopped by Ivy. "I've been meaning to ask you. If Joker created this thing in the first place, why won't he just build another one and come after us at a later date?"

Harley looked around even though it was just the two of them in the warehouse, well three if you counted the now mutated tree. "Mr. J. has a little secret that no one knows. Not even Batman. You see Mr. J. can be brilliant at times with his inventions and death traps but…" Harley paused as if afraid to betray the Joker's confidence but then remembering that he was doing his level best to kill her and Ivy she shrugged her shoulders. "He has no memory. He sometimes can't even remember what gags or jokes he has pulled. Oh he can always remember how to make his Joker Venom that makes people laugh to death or where his lairs are but that's about it."

Ivy's eyes widened in realization. "That is why he insist that you practice your memorization so much!"

Harley nodded her head. "Yep. Mr. J. would come up with these grand plans or inventions, show the plans to me and it wasn't uncommon half way through the project for him to turn to me and demand that I repeat the plans exactly. The henchmen always thought it was just another way for Mr. J. to torture me but really it was just that Mr. J. had forgotten what he was doing and needed me to remind him."

Ivy allowed a thin smile to appear on her face. "The Master of Mirth and Mayhem and he needed his sidekick to keep him on track?" The smile disappeared. "No wonder he is trying so hard to destroy you Harley! Not only do you know all his strengths but you know all his weaknesses too. If it got out that Joker can't even remember the things he himself invented, he would be the laughing stock of the underworld of Gotham."

Penguin grunted in annoyance. Being a 'night owl' he preferred to sleep during the day and wake up only a few hours before his night club opened for patrons at dark. Today however his peaceful sleep was disturbed by the constant buzzing of the under pier secret entrance. Someone was seeking an audience with him and wasn't taking no for an answer.

Penguin grunted and grumbled as he made his way from his bedroom in the night club to his office. The grunting and grumbling suspiciously sounded like the waa waa of his beloved penguins. He was clad in a pair of pajamas embroidered with, what else? Penguins and on his head was a shiny black top hat. While he maybe in a hurry to answer his door and not take time to dress properly, the Penguin wasn't about to be ungentlemanly enough to not have the proper headgear.

"Whoever is ringing that blasted bell better be prepare for a cold bath because I'm hitting the 'dump' button when I get there." Penguin muttered to himself.

Reaching his desk, the Penguin angrily hit the switches to turn on the hidden camera that overlooked the secret entrance. The image on the screen was indistinct as the lighting under the pier was gloomy at best. This in itself wasn't too suspicious. While the Penguin maintained the lights, it wasn't uncommon for them to burn out or short out from the moisture there.

Penguin peered at the monitor, his finger poised over the 'dump' button. He could barely make out the image of a blond woman standing at the door. She appeared to have her mouth open as if breathing hard or maybe in fear that the Penguin was going to do just what he was about to. She was wearing a long trench coat but still it hinted at her having a shapely figure underneath.

Penguin's first thought was that it was Harley out of costume returning to purchase more equipment so with only a few more moments of consideration he finally moved his finger from the 'dump' button to the 'open the door' button and pressed it. Sitting down at his desk he waited to find out who it was.

The door to the corridor leading to the secret door finally opened and Penguin found himself facing…

A blow up doll, the kind they sell in cheap sex shops.

Penguin started to make a dive across the room to where some of his tricked out umbrellas were hanging on the wall but was stopped as a playing card whizzed through the air impaling itself on the edge of his desk in front of him. Penguin didn't even have to look at it to know what card it must be.

The Joker card.

The Batmobile pulled to a stop outside of the night club, The Penguin's Place. Batman climbed out of the driver's compartment and took a moment to look around. He would have preferred to arrive after dark but something told him there was urgency in finding Harley and Ivy.

That and his best bet to have a private conversation with Penguin was before the club filled with patrons and it was still about an hour before the club opened.

Pressing a button on his utility belt Batman caused the Batmobile to engage its chameleon circuit and the car suddenly appeared to be nothing more than a stack of boxes at the side of the dock.

Locating the secret entrance under the pier to the club was mere child's play for Batman and within moments Batman was standing in front of the door leading to Penguin's inner sanctum.

Quickly disabling the cameras, Batman then used a micro laser to cut the locking mechanism from the door and silently entered Penguin's lair.

As Batman entered Penguin's private office the sight that met him would have been enough to sicken the strongest man.

The office was in shambles. Penguin's prized collection of umbrellas were lying on the floor twisted and mangled. A deflated blow up doll that caused Batman's eyebrow to rise slightly was lying across the guest chair.

Penguin himself was sitting at his office chair. Multiple cuts and bruises were across his face. His monocle that he favored was sitting on office desk smashed into almost dust. Proof that Penguin's last guest had not been a friendly one but it was the ghastly smile stretched across Penguin's face that proclaimed louder than any words could who exactly that guest had been.

Racing to Penguin's side, Batman quickly checked for life signs and was relieved to find faint traces. Pulling a vial of Anti-Joker venom Batman quickly injected Penguin with the cure. If he had caught it in time Penguin would live.

After calling a ambulance, Batman continued to watch Penguin. Suddenly Penguin's left eye twitched and with a gasp he took in a mighty breath of air and began coughing.

"Where did he go Penguin?" Batman asked.

Penguin still gasping and rubbing at his aching face merely glared at Batman. While there was no 'honor' among thieves in Gotham but it was considered in poor taste to assist the police and certainly never the Batman. But Batman had just saved him from death and remembering the macabre jokes that the Joker had used about what he was going to do to Harley when he caught her convinced Penguin to make an exception just this one time.

"He said he was going after his wayward protégée."

"Where!" Batman growled.

"How would I know where the criminal element go? I'm just a honest night club owner…"

Batman slammed his armored fist down on Penguin's desk. "Where!"

Penguin with a shaky hand pulled a scrap of paper off of his desk and wrote an address down on it.

They both could hear the sounds of the emergency crew making their way down through the night club.

"Let them take you to the hospital Penguin. Joker's Venom if caught quick enough generally leaves no permanent damage to the body but it pays to be safe than sorry." Batman turned to leave. "Oh and law abiding club owners generally don't need secret entrances to their clubs. I trust this one will be deactivated and torn down as soon as you are well enough to see to it?"

Without waiting for an answer Batman strode out.

Reaching the disguised Batmobile, Batman quickly deactivated the camouflage and leapt in. Joker venom acted swiftly on a person inducing death in a relatively short time so since he was able to save the Penguin that meant the Joker only had a very thin head start over him.

Driving down a street of Gotham that was directly between the Penguin's Place and the warehouse whose address Penguin had given him, Batman spotted something in the road ahead of the Batmobile. It appeared to be a little baby wrapped in a blanket.

Screeching to a halt Batman used the sensors in the Batmobile to scan the object before getting out. The bundle in the road registered 99.7 degrees, within human range. Recently some of the poorer and more criminally minded citizens of Gotham had taken to a new grotesque form of robbery and/or extortion. They would put their babies in the streets and when someone stopped they would leap out to rob them. Or if the car couldn't stop fast enough, they would take pictures of the car and license plates and later contact the person about running over their babies and threaten to go to the cops if they didn't pay up.

Leaping out of the Batmobile, Batman with a sigh walked over to the bundle. It was vital he got to Harley and Ivy before the Joker did but there was no way he would leave a baby in the street! He would first run the baby to the nearest hospital and contact the police so they could investigate and put away the family that would stoop so low as to endanger a child.

Picking up the bundle, Batman pulled away the blanket covering it and found himself looking at a baby doll.

"Goo goo. Batman is a poo poo head." The doll cooed. Batman could see that the doll had wrapped around it those chemical heating pads that athletes use. Throwing the doll away from him, Batman spun on his heel and tried to make it back to the Batmobile.

Instantly there were twin explosions from either side of the street and steel mesh nets trailing heavy cables flew across the empty space and double wrapped Batman in a cocoon. Instantly high voltage electric shocks slammed into Batman driving him to his knees.

"Well looky here boys. We've got us an old fashion Bat barbecue!" The Joker's voice with an atrocious mock Texan accent rang out.

Through the pain of the electric shocks Batman could see Joker and a half dozen of his henchmen coming out of the shadows and surrounding him.

"I would love to stay here long enough to see you fully cooked Batman but I've got a couple of ladies waiting for me to show up, they just don't know it yet. And you know the Joker doesn't keep the ladies waiting so I have to run. Maybe we'll come back later for a few Cajun blackened style batwings?"

Joker's hideous cackling laugh rang out. "You'll notice the power surges are coming more and more frequently and gaining in strength, you'll be a crispy critter in no time Batsy." The Joker laughed one more time and then turning with a maniacal gleam in his eyes he strode off.

Through the pain Batman heard cars in a side alley roar into life and then silence as they drove off. Batman wondered briefly why no one in the houses to either side of the street didn't come out to help him but then thinking of the area he was in, he figured they were probably videotaping it from the safety of their homes to offer it on Gotham's Gruesome Video TV show rather than call the police or offer help.

Inside the Batmobile the computer console flared into life as the sensors built into the Batsuit started showing erratic and dangerous signs. A holographic image of Batman in the street showed on the console monitor and shifted as the computer analyzed the danger to Batman. A glowing line traced the cables from the nets to the houses they were connected to and thusly to the electrical network that powered Gotham.

Twin lasers mounted just beneath the headlights on the front of the Batmobile extended and taking aim fired severing the cables. From start to finish the whole action took only several moments. The Batmobile then pulled forward till it was inches away from the unconscious Batman as if a mother hen watching over it's fallen chick. The Batmobile then sent a signal and video relay to the Batcave to notify Alfred and the others that Batman was now down.

Catwoman leapt from roof top to roof top in the abandoned warehouse district of Gotham. A bag at her side let out a soft mew from a solitary kitten. Of all the hoards of cats Catwoman once had, this tiny kitten was all she had left. After failing to obtain the power core, Catwoman had decided to just steal all her cats back and found to her shock that they were gone. The Gotham S.P.C.A. instead of holding her cats at their normal locations, had shipped them all over the country. The chances of regaining her cat 'family' were now next to nothing.

Stopping for a moment to get her bearings, Catwoman wheezed and gasped at the foul air of Gotham. Realizing that even if she could recover all her cats the chances they would be able to survive in Gotham much longer was also next to nothing. Catwoman using her meager hacking skills broke into the Gotham police records to find out if Harley had been telling the truth about a dimensional portal. To her surprise she found records supporting the clown wannabes assurances.

The records stated which warehouse the Joker had used and reports from Batman on what had happened. Catwoman knew Harley played the fool but was in no way stupid so she didn't even bother to check that warehouse. She knew Harley would never use some place the Joker had used and knew about but at the same time she felt that Harley wouldn't create her dimensional portal too far away either. The chances that it might mess something up dimensionally wise was too great.

So Catwoman was systematically checking all the warehouses radiating out from the one the Joker had used. It was only a matter of time before she found Harley and Ivy.

Catwoman finally managing to catch her breath walked to the edge of the building she was standing on and examined her surroundings. Gotham's sunset had been smothered behind a cloud of smog and light was now fading fast.

"It's getting dark Delilah." Catwoman said to the kitten in the bag at her side. A black kitten stuck it's head out of the bag to look up at her. "If we don't find them soon they may leave this world and we'll be left behind. Just have to keep my eyes open for anything unusual."

A meow caused Catwoman to glance down at the kitten and then to look in the direction the cat was staring at.

All she could see was yet another broken down warehouse. Just like the dozen or so she had already checked out. Narrowing her eyes she noticed this one had something the other warehouses had lacked though. A tree in front growing sideways through the wall of the warehouse. "Good catch Delilah. When trees in Gotham are acting weird it is a safe bet Poison Ivy is nearby."

Lashing out her whip Catwoman caught a defunct lamp post below her and swung down in the direction of the warehouse.

A nearly exhausted Harley pulled her head out of the last console and looked around the warehouse for Ivy. The mutated tree had branches over her and was holding several flashlights in its branches providing light for the young woman to work by.

"It's done." Harley called out.

Ivy stepped out of the shadows and tossed an apple to Harley. "Here eat something. You are about to drop."

Harley caught the apple and stared at it for a moment before looking up at the tree above her. "I thought our tree was an oak tree? How did you get apples from it?"

"I can make plants do anything I want to Harley." Ivy said with a faint grin.

Harley shot a skeptical look in her direction. "Okay, so I can't make them change their species, at least not without a fully equipped laboratory." Ivy admitted with a shrug. "I snuck out and raided a small market while you were working."

Harley felt a tiny thrill of fear ran down her spine at the thought of her being alone and so engrossed in her work she didn't even notice Ivy had left and come back. A tendril from the tree above her came down and caressed her face lightly as if assuring her that the tree would have protected her if anyone had come in.

"Well…" Harley stated as she bit into the apple and then made a face, the apple was nearly tasteless, almost like wax fruit. Then again almost all of the fruits and vegetables were that way any more. "We are ready to leave any time we want to. The portal generator is finished." She finished as she chewed.

"Then I made it just in time…"

Harley leapt back against the console as if to protect it with her life as the voice came from the darkness of the warehouse. Sounds of a scuffle were heard and a few moments later Catwoman was dragged into the light provided by the flashlights. Her hands were firmly caught in the branches of the mutant tree.

"Damn it Cats! You nearly gave me a heart attack! I thought you were Mr. J. or Batman!" Harley said holding a hand to her chest.

"Well it doesn't matter who it is." Ivy said. "Since she is toast anyway."

Ivy looked up at the tree that crowded the space above them all. "Rip her apart baby."

Harley's eyes wide in horror reached out and grabbed the tendril that had so recently caressed her face. "NO don't!" She yelled at the tree.

The branches holding Catwoman's arms shuddered as the simple plant tried to figure out which of its mistresses orders to follow.

"Harley! We can't let her leave here alive. And she certainly can't go with us! You said it yourself. We can't transport all her damn cats to Tenchi's world!" Ivy yelled at Harley.

"I only have one cat left." Catwoman's voice said sadly. "Delilah. Gotham has taken everything else away from me."

The bag hanging at her side stirred and the tiny black kitten stuck its head out to blink in Harley's direction.

Harley's eyes grew large as she stared at the kitten. "She's adorable." She cooed at the kitten and walked over to where Catwoman was hanging in the braches of the tree.

Ivy rolled her eyes. "You are not falling for this are…" She stopped as the tree holding Catwoman released her as Harley placed a hand directly on one of the branches and gave a silent mental command to the plant.

"Of course you are." Ivy finished folding her arms angrily over her chest.

Harley walked over to her. "Don't be that way Red. We women have to stick together and we need to go soon if we are going. As you pointed out earlier today, Batman or Mr. J. is going to find this place sooner or later and if Cats found us this easy…"

Ivy waved off Harley and nodded her head. "So how does this thing work?" She asked walking over to one of the consoles.

Harley hoping that Ivy had forgiven her completely walked over to the power core and flipped it on, listening as a nearly silent whine came from the black box. She then went to the proper console and threw a switch. "Like this!" Harley paused for a moment as nothing immediately happened. "I hope." She said under her breath.

A high buzzing noise filled the warehouse and a few seconds later a black circle appeared floating in the air. The blackness of the hole was so deep and utterly black it showed up clearly in the gloom of the warehouse.

"How do we get up to it?" Catwoman asked walking nearer to the floating void.

"Wait for it." Harley replied. "It did this the last time too."

Suddenly the black circle fell from the sky and landing on the floor and started sparking.

Harley her mouth suddenly dry in fear looked over at Ivy. "You sure you don't want me to test it first?"

"We go together or not at all." Ivy replied firmly and she drew Harley into her arms. Looking up at the tree she commanded. "As soon as we are gone baby you are to destroy everything in this warehouse. Don't leave anything standing!"

Catwoman walked over next to the couple. "Here we go Delilah. To a cleaner and better place." Under her breath she said. "I hope."

The three women looked at each other and with a final nod, they hopped into the black hole on the ground.


	13. Chapter 13

Harley and Ivy chapter 13

Ryoko, the infamous but now semi-retired space pirate lay back on the dock overlooking the lake in front of Tenchi's house. The woman with spiky light blue hair was enjoying a little sun tanning time and the only covering she had at the moment was a towel lying across her hips.

Ryoko was many things but one of them was definitely not shy. Her adage was, 'if you got it, flaunt it.'

But not even she would be so bold if Tenchi, his father or grandfather were around. Well... Maybe if it was just Tenchi around but never his father, that man was just too big a hentai for Ryoko's comfort. All the men folk had went off to some kind of shrine retreat thing. All Ryoko knew was that all women were banned from going. A displeasing fact that Ryoko made sure everyone knew she disagreed with. Finally Tenchi had whispered to her, "Just think how much I will have missed you all and how happy I'll be to see you all when I get back."

Those words calmed Ryoko enough to let Tenchi leave with his father and grandfather. Of course Ryoko just 'knew' that Tenchi meant he would be thinking of only her and not the other women in the household.

Ryoko glanced up at the blue skies above her. Outside of her Tenchi, this world didn't have too awful much going for it in the space pirate's opinion but the blue skies with fluffy clouds and a warm yellow sun was certainly some of the nicer things.

Ryoko smiled as one cloud floated in front of the sun. It reminded her briefly of her spaceship/pet Ryo-ohki. And that cloud looked a little like Mihoshi tripping over her feet about to land on her face.

Closing her eyes in pleasure Ryoko could sense another shadow crossing in front of the sun. Opening one eye she peered upwards.

"_Damn, that cloud looks almost like the prissy Princess Ayeka." _Ryoko thought to herself. _"I can almost hear it yelling at me..."_

"Miss Ryoko! What do you think you are doing? May I ask?" A shrill voice suddenly yelled.

"_Oh crap! Its not a cloud after all but it really is that pain in the ass Ayeka."_ Ryoko thought with a sour grimace as she opened both eyes and sat up to face the Jurian Princess standing over her with a disapproving look on her face.

"Its called sunbathing Ayeka. People do it all the time." Ryoko said.

"Immoral people who don't mind exposing their bodies for all who might care to see!" Ayeka shrilled, her heavy ceremonial kimono shifting angrily as she sweated in the hot sun.

"Who's to see? Tenchi, his father and grandfather have all gone. There is only us girls here." Ryoko smiled one of evil grins. "Or are you telling me you are one of those you might care to see? Why Ayeka I never would have guessed you swung that way."

Ayeka promptly purpled with either embarrassment or rage, Ryoko wasn't quite sure which.

"How dare you! I'm not a woman of loose morals nor am I one of THOSE women! I only have eyes for my intended Lord Tenchi!" Ayeka shouted proving it was rage and not embarrassment.

"Then what is the problem Ayeka? Let me sunbathe in peace." Ryoko snorted and then lay back down on the dock and closed her eyes.

"The problem Miss Ryoko is we are suppose to be cleaning Lord Tenchi's house from top to bottom for his return. Or did you forget that?" Ayeka yelled.

Ryoko, her eyes still closed grimaced slightly. Truth be told she had forgotten that fact.

"Wait! We ALL agreed to clean. Mihoshi isn't here. She left." Ryoko said in defense.

"Ayeka angrily folded her arms and glared at Ryoko who still hadn't opened her eyes to face her wrath properly. "Mihoshi was called away on patrol and you well know that! She has an excuse. You do not!"

Ryoko quietly mused to herself. "You ever notice these 'emergencies' always come up around cleaning times?"

Ayeka didn't want to be sidetracked by Ryoko but she frowned. "Now that you do mention it these being called away on missions is getting quite suspicious. They rarely happen at meal times but always when I am getting on to her to do some work around the house or to stop napping." Ayeka then shook her head. "No. Mihoshi isn't clever enough to arrange fake signals from her ship or devious enough to even think of shirking her duties, unlike you!"

Ryoko opened her eyes to stare up at Ayeka. "Sometimes I wonder how much of that cheerful ditzy act of hers is just that, an act."

"In any case Miss Ryoko…" Ayeka started up in her shrillest voice. "You need to put some clothes on and help with the cleaning!"

"Will you just chill out Ayeka? Its not like we're going to have some guests suddenly drop in…" Ryoko sitting up started to argue with Ayeka.

A crackling black hole appeared over the lake about three feet from the end of the dock and hovered in mid air startling both Ayeka and Ryoko from their favorite past time. Bickering and fighting among themselves.

In a blink of an eye two women fell from the floating hole to splash in the lake. A moment later a woman wearing a tight black costume, with a yell that sounded surprisingly like a cat's angry hiss followed them and splashed into the lake as well.

The black hole floated in mid air for several long moments before winking out of existence.

Ayeka and Ryoko looked at each other for a moment before rushing to the edge of the dock to help the people who had appeared out. Ryoko's eyes narrowed slightly as she waited for the people to surface. The black hole looked suspiciously like the one that the homicidal clown, The Joker had came from not long ago. At the first sign of a white face and green hair, Ryoko planned to attack with everything she had. The first head to break the water however had wet blond hair covering her face.

Harley frantically brushed her wet bangs out of her eyes to take a look around. The last time she had arrived in Tenchi's dimension it had been into a carrot field. She most assuredly wasn't expecting a bath. Finally getting her eyes cleared she looked up at the dock above her and saw the spiky shadow of Ryoko and the prim and proper shadow of Ayeka looking over the edge back at her.

"Miss Quinn?" Ayeka asked in question.

"I knew I had the dimensional settings right!" Harley said happily to herself.

A moment later a wet red head surfaced next to her and glared at her.

"Oh okay, so I missed land and hit the lake but you have to admit it. I did good to reach the right dimension." Harley said to Ivy.

Ivy opened her mouth to complain but then stopped. Licking her lips she realized the water they were in was fresh water, which wasn't that surprisingly since Harley had said she had hit a lake, but what was surprising was the water was pure and clean. Ivy detected none of the stale chemicals or twang of toxic elements that all water in Gotham contained.

Harley began to frantically look around the water. "Where's Cats? She fell in with us didn't she?" She shouted in worry.

"Bats?" Ryoko standing on the dock asked. "You brought that weirdo Batman with you?"

"She said Cats." Ivy replied distinctively and then looked up to see who was talking. Ivy's eyes grew wide as she spotted a woman leaning over the dock staring back at her. As Ryoko shifted the glare of the sun behind her was blocked and Ivy could see the woman had a mane of spiky blue hair, golden eyes and one of the most impressive racks Ivy had ever seen on a woman and it didn't hurt the woman was leaning over the edge of the dock completely nude either.

Harley started twisting wildly around looking for Catwoman. She tried to remember if she had ever heard if Catwoman knew how to swim. Cats were suppose to hate water but Catwoman was fully human and not really a cat so she had to know how to tread water, didn't she?

Just as Harley was about to start diving to see if she could find her, Catwoman surfaced spitting and hissing a few feet from her, right next to the dock.

"Hundreds of acres of land and you had to hit a lake?" Catwoman complained to Harley.

"Sorry." Harley replied.

Ayeka got down on her knees on the dock and reaching down she offered a hand to the strange woman.

Catwoman accepted her help and together they managed to pull Catwoman up on the dock. Ayeka was scandalized by how tight and form fitting the strange clothing the woman was wearing but a proper princess didn't fail to offer help when it was needed. It would be considered crass to not do so.

Ivy blinked as the strange woman she had been staring at suddenly disappeared with a strange noise. A second later she felt someone grip her around her waist and jerking her head to the side she saw it was that woman. And she was floating above the surface of the water. One arm around Ivy's waist and the other arm around Harley's. Again came that weird noise, a moment of disorientation and the next thing Ivy knew she was standing on the dock with the blue haired woman and Harley.

While Harley and Ivy blinked a few times trying to figure out just what had happened, although Harley had briefly seen some of Ryoko's abilities when she had last been in this dimension, but seeing and having it done to you were two different things.

Catwoman was too busy looking into her bag to pay much attention. A moment later she pulled out a wet and annoyed looking little kitten.

"You okay Delilah?" She asked as she held the kitten up to look at it.

The kitten shook it's fur and meowed and Catwoman looked relieved.

Between Harley and Ivy, Harley recovered first and launching herself at Ryoko she glomped her in a hug. Harley's smaller frame putting her face firmly between Ryoko's large breasts. Harley's costume being nearly shreds before the trip through the dimensional hole and then the splashdown was now nothing much more than just a memory.

"I've missed you so much Ryoko. I was beginning to think I would never make it back here!" The small blond woman nearly sobbed.

Ryoko looked surprised but she raised a hand and began stroking the blonds' wet hair soothingly. "It's okay Harley. Why don't you stop hugging me and tell me how and why you are back here and who these people are with you?"

Ivy felt herself start to frown watching Ryoko stroking Harley's hair but for the life of her she couldn't decide who she was jealous of. Ryoko for holding Harley while they were both nearly naked, or for Harley having her face between those delicious looking breasts of Ryoko.

"Yes." Ayeka eyeing with suspicion Catwoman and Ivy said. "Why are you back here? You told Sasami that you were going to go back to get treatment. And what has happened to your clothing! You are indecent! Such a spectacle. You and Ryoko naked and embracing like that!"

Harley immediately released Ryoko and stepped back a few paces. "I'm sorry Ryoko. It is just good to see a friendly face again." She said as she blushed bright red while trying to adjust the tatters of her costume to cover herself better.

Ivy eyebrow raised slightly. _"More like a friendly body."_ She thought to herself. Hearing a noise Ivy glanced down the dock towards the house she could see in the distance. A small girl with spiky red hair was moving towards them.

"_That must be Washu."_ Ivy thought to herself. She recognized her from Harley's description in the story she had told her back in the hotel room in Gotham.

As Washu reached them, she spared a glance at her naked daughter and rolled her eyes slightly but otherwise didn't comment about it. "My sensors in the lab spotted the opening of a portal near here." She said in lieu of a greeting.

Ayeka eyed her suspiciously. "You were suppose to be cleaning the living room." She reminded the diminutive scientist.

Washu brushed the comment off with a wave of a hand. "Don't you think it is more important to greet our guests Lady Ayeka?" She asked.

Even though it was a warm day, the lake had been a little cold and with a breeze blowing Harley found herself shivering a little.

Washu noticed immediately.

"Let's get our guests inside and into a hot bath and there we can do introductions and explanations." Washu stated.

"Where is Mihoshi, Sasami and Tenchi?" Harley her teeth nearly chattering asked. Ayeka was always a little cold to her the first time she had been here but Mihoshi, Sasami, Tenchi and to a smaller extent Ryoko had been accepting of her and she had been looking forward to meeting her friends again.

Hearing a slight whistling noise, everyone glanced up.

"Oh dear." Ayeka said as they could see a spaceship above them streaking towards the lake. Ayeka began to freak out while Washu seemed strangely calm.

The spaceship hurtled towards the lake at a alarming rate and… suddenly stopped dead still a few feet above the surface of the water.

Washu turned to look at the two strange women that had accompanied Harley back through a dimensional portal. "Mihoshi keeps forgetting that earth doesn't have a landing control beacon and usually crashes into the lake." Washu shrugged. "I finally got around to installing a control beacon just for Mihoshi."

A door in the side of Mihoshi's Galaxy Patrol ship swooshed open and revealed the blond officer standing there. The woman in the uniform cocked her head to the side when she spotted Harley standing on the dock.

"Harley?" The woman asked happily and stepped out of her ship… To plummet the last few remaining feet into the water.

Washu sighed. Ryoko raised a hand and clasped it over her face in disbelief. Ayeka merely shook her head. The three, now ex-Gotham women looked at each other and then in unison they walked over the edge of the dock and looked down.

Mihoshi now without her patrol hat and with her blond hair plastered to her face looked up at them with shimmering big blue eyes. "Waaaa! I'm all wet!" She cried at the three women looking down at her.

Meanwhile back in the Gotham dimension….

The mutated tree watched as Ivy, Harley and Catwoman hopped into the black hole on the floor and were gone.

Some would say that plants do not have emotions…

They would be wrong. The tree missed its former two mistresses, and its branches drooped in sadness.

But after a moment the tree shook itself free from its grief and prepared to carry out the last order it had been given by its mistress with the red hair.

A loud bang at the front door of the warehouse caused the plant to pause however. Turning several of the limbs holding flashlights in that direction it spotted several men storm into the warehouse. Following behind the men was a white faced man with bright green hair. At first the tree wondered to itself if the green haired man was another of it's mistress's plant creatures as well.

The men who had came in first were shaking a bit in fear at the fearsome sight of a giant tree hunched over in a confined space of the warehouse. The tree's branches towered over them and vines were everywhere.

The Joker, his permanent grin even wider than usual suddenly called out. "Let him have it boys!"

The men jerked up what looked like riffles to their shoulders and quickly fired.

If the tree could have laughed it would have. Guns had very little impact on it's kind except maybe to strip some bark off the outer layer of it's 'skin'. The laughter would have ceased however as the 'bullets' struck the mutated tree in several branches and the tree felt a burning pain as some kind of chemical was splashed on to it and raced through it's sap pathways.

The Joker started laughing as the mutated tree began to thrash and twitch as the super concentrated plant defoliant and herbicide did its trick on it. With a almost human groan the tree now rotten, yellow and dead fell down. Fortunately for the Joker away from the control consoles of the portal generator.

The Joker stepped over the withering vines and branches and reaching the power core he poised his finger over the 'off' button. With a gleeful push he pushed it down and listened as the power core wound down and was silent.

The sparking black hole on the floor faded away and was gone a moment later.

One of his henchmen wearing a clown's wig with a bright red nose walked over and looked at his boss in confusion.

"I thought you wanted to keep the portal open so you could go after them boss?" The thug asked.

Joker shook his head. "You see my boy that's your problem. You are trying to think. If I were to charge right after them I would most likely run right into that cackling pint sized red headed bitch and the blue haired freak. Not too mention that farm boy and Harley and Ivy! No, I'll let them think they got away for a while and when enough time has gone by that they think they have got away from me scott free, then I'll reopen the portal and catch them off guard." The Joker's eyes glittered dangerously.

Some of the henchmen who had been with his longer began to cautiously back away.

"You should stick with your strengths my boy and not try to think." The Joker continued to the thug standing next to him.

"What do you think my strengths are boss?" The thug stupidly asked.

The Joker suddenly turned in his direction and a fine mist shot out of the flower on the Joker's lapel.

The henchman grabbed at his throat and a few seconds later he started laughing. His face contorting in agony and pain, he fell to the ground all the while laughing.

"I've always thought you had a nice laugh." The Joker replied thoughtfully. "I would stick with that if I were you."

Finally the poor thug's laughter ceased as his constant laughing had prevented him from breathing. As the man lay on the ground dying, his facial muscles started to contract, pulling his face into a hideous smile.

"See?" The Joker said with a grin. "You seem happier all ready." The Joker then stepped over the dead body and walking over he sat down on the dead tree's trunk.

"Set up a perimeter. Nobody gets in or out until we've opened the portal and recovered our little run away Harley and I properly punish her… And everyone else in that dimension too."

The surviving henchmen ran to obey the Joker's orders as he started to laugh once again.


	14. Chapter 14

Once again Harley found herself in the magnificent bathhouse created by Washu. At least this time she had stripped off her own clothing and hadn't needed any help. If you could call letting the last few scraps of her clothing to fall off to be stripping.

She had to suppress a laugh as Mihoshi tried to help Catwoman undress. Harley knew Mihoshi had to be straight, after all Mihoshi had confessed to Harley last time that she was after Tenchi, but for a straight woman Mihoshi seemed to really like helping other women disrobe.

Catwoman had lept backwards as Mihoshi came very close to her and tried to examine her costume looking for a zipper to unzip.

"What is it with blonds always wanting to feel me up?" She hissed.

Mihoshi took no offense and merely shrugged. "The last time Harley was here she was incredibly shy and we had to coax her into bathing with us. I figured it was a cultural thing in your dimension and we would have to coax you too."

Catwoman to be honest was slightly uncomfortable bathing with others but she wasn't a shy person. You kind of had to be a bit of exhibitionist to run around in a skintight cat costume after all. So with a shrug of her own she quickly shed her costume and quickly scrubbed herself down as she saw the other women doing and then climbed up to ease herself into the very hot water of the huge elevated soaking bath.

The small black kitten Delilah sat on the edge of the bath and began to clean herself, every now and then shooting a glance at her mistress as if to say, you are crazy to bathe in water rather than just licking your paw and rubbing it over yourself the proper way.

Ivy, even though the experience of group bathing was new to her as well, removed her costume without any coaxing at all. A quick scrub with the soaps and she too began soaking blissfully in the almost scalding hot waters of the bath.

"I love how you incorporated the trees and plants in here." She murmured as she slowly closed her eyes enjoying the heat of the bath and the fresh scents of living plants surrounding her. She could almost convince herself she was in some steamy swamp with her eyes closed.

Harley began to inch her way towards Ivy. It wasn't like she was going to try anything with everyone in the bath with them but she yearned to be as close to her as she could be. Her progress stopped however when Ivy opened her eyes and looked around curiously.

"Where's Ryoko?" she asked.

Immediately Harley closed her eyes and raised her hands to protect her face. Sure enough seconds later Ryoko appeared fully nude above the center of the pool and cannonballed into the middle splashing hot water over everyone's face.

"Ryoko!" A sputtering Ayeka hissed at her.

Harley couldn't control the giggle that built up inside her. It was just so similar to the last time she was here. It was like she had never left. In some ways she wished she hadn't have left to go back to Gotham with Batman and the Joker but in other ways she was happy she did or she would never have acted on her feelings for Ivy.

Speaking of which...

Harley began her determined inching around the edge of the pool trying to reach Ivy's side once again.

Ivy unaware that Harley was making her way to her side and still curious about the blue haired space pirate Ryoko suddenly moved from where she was at, just as Harely was about to arrive at her side and moved over to where Ryoko was smirking at the dripping and highly annoyed Ayeka.

Harley couldn't help the slight frown that came over her face. Ivy had talked about nothing but what she planned to do to her while they were in Gotham's dimension but as soon as she got here it seemed like she had eyes for nobody but Ryoko.

Feeling a gentle touch on her back, Harley spun around to see that it was Mihoshi that had come up behind her in the bath.

"The scars on your back have faded. Surely you weren't in the dimension you came from long enough for all of those to have faded?" The blond space patrol officer asked her.

"It's kind of a long story." Harley said glancing over at Ivy who continued to ignore her as she asked question after question of Ryoko.

"I think you will have time to tell us." Washu's voice called out as she climbed the stairs to the elevated soaking pool.

Harley forehead crinkled with confusion. While it was undoubtedly Washu's voice that had spoken it had a deeper, almost sensual tone to it that was lacking in the diminutive scientist's voice before. As Washu climbed the stairs and came into view Harley's mouth dropped open and she couldn't help but stare.

Washu no longer appeared as a little girl but was now a tall voluptuous woman, her mane of spiky red hair brushing her shoulders. Harley could feel her face flush as her eyes almost against her will traveled to look at Washu's now adult breasts. They were even bigger than Ryoko's.

"My god Washu, you are gorgeous." Harley said without thinking and then promptly blushed so deeply she looked like a tomato.

Washu could resist a grin. She had speculated on Harley's sexuality when she was here last. Harley's devotion to the Joker hinted strongly she was heterosexual but the few glances at Mihoshi and Ryoko that Washu had caught Harley doing when in the bath her first visit hinted that if she wasn't also bisexual she was at least bi-curious.

Washu also noted that when Harley had commented on her beauty, that the one named Ivy had shot a jealous look at her and then frowned in Harley's direction. A action that Harley missed completely being only able to stare at Washu for the time being.

"That's right, isn't it? I didn't wear my adult form any the first time you were here did I Harley?" Washu asked as she eased herself into the hot water.

A dumbfounded Harley could only shake her head. Almost as if she didn't realize she was doing it, Harley began to move around the pool towards Washu.

Washu, the greatest scientific genius in the universe had to suppress a giggle. While she didn't 'swing' that way it was still nice to know she could knock a woman's socks off the same way she could a man's when she wanted to, and without even trying.

"You were going to tell us what has happened to you since the last time we saw you and who your friends are?" Washu gently prompted the blond ex-criminal as she moved next to her in the bath.

Harley with a visible effort shook herself free from the brief fantasy she had been engaging in and stopped staring at Washu.

"Oh of course. How rude of me not to introduce everyone and explain..." Harley paused as she looked around. "Where's Sasami? I just now noticed she's not with us. I want her to meet Ivy too."

Catwoman, her eyes still closed gave a soft snort as if to say, sure forget about me why don't you?

"Oh and Catwoman too of course." Harley added.

Ayeka who had been glaring at Ryoko while Ryoko told some of her exploits as a ex-pirate to Ivy suddenly looked up with an expression on face that clearly said, 'uh-oh. I knew I forgot about something.'

The door to the bathing chamber slammed open and a very irate young girl's voice called out. "I better not find you in here sister! After spending all morning telling me and Ryo-ohki to clean the kitchen I better not find out the rest of you snuck off to bathe again without me!"

There was dead silence in the room as everyone in the soaking pool turned to look at Ayeka. Ayeka for her part slowly sank down in the water till just her eyes were just above the surface. Ryoko started to snicker at her.

An angry meow meow MEEEOOOW floated up from the bathing room floor causing Ryoko to suddenly stop and slide down deeper in the water as well.

A highly irate Sasami climbed to the top of the stairs that lead to the steaming soaking pool, on top of her head an equally annoyed Ryo-ohki rode. Sasami was nearly a perfect demure princess, as her sister Ayeka constantly reminded her she should be, but this time she was going to really tell her older sister what she thought of her setting tasks for her and Ryo-ohki and then sneaking off to bathe with the others.

The words died on her lips however when she noticed here were more people in the pool than she was expecting.

A woman with coal black hair was sitting slightly apart from the rest and was looking at her curiously. Next to Ryoko was a woman with bright red hair like Washu's but she had the oddest light green tinted skin. And sitting next to Washu was...

"Harley?" Sasami asked in shock.

"Sasami!" Harley happily cried as she rose from the water and moved to the edge to greet the young girl she had come to think of as like a sister whom she once thought she would never see again.

"Harley!" Sasami shouted back just as gleefully and raced to meet her. At the edge of the soaking pool they embraced in a hug.

This time it was the slightly smaller Sasami who's face was pressed between Harley's breasts.

"I've missed you so much!" Sasami said, or at lest tried to with her face between Harley's breasts.

"SASAMI!" Ayeka shot up from where she had been crouching down in the water. "It is not proper for princesses to be embracing naked women in a bath!"

Sasami released Harley and stepping to the side peered past the ex-crook to fix her sister with a glare. "Ayeka, why didn't you come and get me when Harley showed up? Why did you bring her to the bath without letting me know?"

The annoyed Ayeka suddenly turned meek and slid back down in the water. "Well there was some confusion and I didn't have any time and..."

"Come join us Sasami." Washu said temporarily saving Ayeka from her sister's wrath. "Harley was just about to tell us what has happened since she returned to her dimension and why she brought some friends back with her for a visit."

As Sasami quickly removed her robes to get into the water, Ryo-ohki leapt off of her head and hopped over to where Delilah was watching.

"Meow?" Ryo-ohki said.

Delilah looked at the cabbit, blinked and then looked over at her mistress Catwoman.

"I certainly don't want to be rude towards our hosts but what is that creature?" Catwoman asked as she inched over to take a better look. Appearance wise Ryo-ohki looked more rabbit than cat with the large floppy ears but her meow was all cat.

"It is my ship." Ryoko replied with a grin.

"Ryo-ohki is a complex creature that I created." Washu added more helpfully. "She is a brilliant combination of a cat, a rabbit and a unique life form that allows her to transform as my daughter just said into a sentient spacecraft."

Catwoman peered at eye level at the cabbit who seemed content to peer right back. Her nose twitching slightly as she scented the strange woman. "It can become a spaceship? Big enough for someone to actually ride inside?" Catwoman asked in shock.

"She." Sasami stated as she slid into the hot water of the bath. "Ryo-ohki is a female."

Ryo-ohki deciding that the strange woman was no threat, meowed at her happily and turned her attention back to Delilah who was still looking at her quizzically.

"Meow...Meow...Meeeeooow?" Ryo-ohki said to Delilah Delilah after a moment meowed back and before long the two were meowing and purring as if they were old friends and having quite the conversation.

"Well with her being a female at least I don't have to worry about her getting my Delilah in trouble." Catwoman said and turned back to face the others in the bath.

Ryo-ohki in ship form is one of the fastest, most maneuverable ships out there." Ryoko said with pride.

"She is the ship that you were talking about?" Ivy asked enthralled. "The one that made fools of the entire Jurian fleet and Galaxy Police?"

Ayeka started to purple in rage, while Mihoshi raised an eyebrow. "Now that is not fair Miss Ryoko. You know Ryo-ohki has never faced the entire Galaxy Police."

"Just enough to know what would have happened if we did." Ryoko said with a grin.

Ayeka suddenly gave a shrill high pitched mocking laugh. "What can you expect from a monster woman like her Miss Mihoshi? She couldn't tell the truth if she had to. It must come from not having the proper upbringing in childhood unlike some of us had."

Dead silence dropped over the bath a moment before a bucket of ice water appeared above Ayeka dumping its contents on her making her squeal and drop down lower into the hot water. The bucket hovered a moment and then poofed out of existence.

"I tried to do the best I could Ayeka" Washu said calmly. "But you know good and well that Kagato stole my little girl from me and he wasn't big on teaching manners or deportment."

A truly repentant Ayeka looked over at Washu. "I am sorry Miss Washu. You are quite right it was wrong of me to taunt Ryoko with something she had no control over." Ayeka then turned to face Ryoko. "I apologize Miss Ryoko." She then held out her hand to Ryoko who took it in hers.

"That is quite all right Ayeka. I know you royals always speak without thinking." Ryoko answered back. A eyebrow twitched on Ayeka's face.

"And I know how you ex-space pirates sometimes have trouble understanding, let alone accepting a proper apology." Ayeka replied

The group in the bath sighed as they noticed the two women now had their hands locked in the handshake as they both tried to force the other to submit by attempting to crush each others' hands.

"So Harley? You were going to introduce your friends to me and tell us why you have come back?" Sasami asked turning everyone's attention away from the juvenile display of Ryoko and Ayeka.

Harley enthusiastically nodded her head and then pointed at where Ivy was watching Ryoko and Ayeka as if silently cheering on Ryoko. "She is my good friend Poison... Er, I mean Pamela Isley." Harley stuttered slightly.

Ivy looked over at them. "My nickname back home is Poison Ivy. That was what Harley was going to say."

Washu sized the woman up. "You were a criminal back in your home dimension like Harley I take it?"

"Not quite. I didn't steal for money or the thrill, I worked to try and destroy the companies and men who ravished the environment. Our home world is becoming a poisoned place that is barely able to sustain life. I was just trying to do what I could to make people realize it. Also I tended to work alone while Harley hung out with The Joker." Ivy nearly grimaced when she saw the sad look that came across Harley's face at the mention of the sadistic clown they had left behind in Gotham.

"My unique specialty is the ability to communicate and control plants." Ivy rushed to cover up her little faux pas. A vine across the Washu created hot springs suddenly shuddered to life and began growing till it was between Ayeka and Ryoko, who in shock dropped each other's hands to look at it in wonder. The plant suddenly sprouted a long wicked looking thorn in Ayeka's direction while at the same time a flower blossomed on it in Ryoko's direction.

Harley couldn't help a tiny frown cross her face at the implied symbology that Ivy was using to show off. It was obvious that Ivy didn't like Ayeka but did like Ryoko.

Ryoko reached out and lightly touched the flower as if to test if it was real. "That's some trick kiddo." She replied appreciatively. Harley couldn't help but notice that Ivy's skin darkened slightly greener in reaction to the praise.

"Is that why your skin is slightly green? Because you can talk to plants?" Mihoshi asked innocently.

Ivy looked over at the Galaxy Police officer and nodded her head. "It is my unique blood chemistry. Plants react to me and I have immunity from all know poisons or toxins."

Mihoshi turned to look at Harley sitting next to her. "Buy why is Harley's skin turning light green too then?" She asked.

"It is?" Harley asked as she stared down her own nose trying to see. Finally she lifted her arm out of the water and held it up to look at it. "It is! Hey Red! I'm getting the tint too! Isn't that great?!"

"Maybe it would help if I took over the explanations?" Ivy asked Washu as Harley started turning and twisting trying to see all parts of her own body to make sure the tint was an all over green and she wasn't splotchy anywhere. Ivy felt like barking at her that it wasn't some kind of tan but a natural side effect of her blood coursing through Harley's body so of course it was all over, but she decided to let the younger woman discover that for herself.

Ivy explained about Harley returning to her own dimension and being locked up with The Joker and what the Joker had attempted to do. Ayeka shot her an annoyed look and purposely looked over at her younger sister as if to say that was not something she should have told about in front of younger ears but Ivy didn't care. Life was sometimes ugly and mean and she didn't see the sense in trying to keep the facts from young people.

Sasami moved closer to Harley and Harley stopped her inspection of herself to reassure Sasami that she was all right and that the Joker had been stopped before he could hurt her too much.

Ivy waited till Harley and Sasami settled down before continuing with her story...

Meanwhile back in Gotham City dimension.

Two motorcycles raced up to the dark shape sitting in the middle of the street, their headlights briefly lighting up the motionless body of batman lying cocooned in the metal mesh netting of the Joker's trap.

A few seconds later a unmarked nondescript dark van pulled up. The door opening to reveal a man dressed in a gray costume. On his head a chauffeur like hat perched but coming off the hat was a veil that totally obscured the person's face.

The two riders on the motorcycles removed their helmet revealing Robin and Batgirl.

"Quickly cut Batman from that mess." Alfred's slightly altered voice came from underneath the veil of the chauffeur's hat.

As Batgirl made to go towards Batman's prone body the Batmobile suddenly revved it's motors and gave off a warning growling noise from its engine.

"Head towards Batman directly from the front, not the side." Alfred instructed. "The Batcomputer doesn't recognize you yet and thinks you are a threat."

Batgirl and Robin raising their hands in the air started to slowly move toward Batman once again. The Batmobile gave a slight chirp and the headlights came on fully illuminating them and Batman's body. Recognizing Robin and Batgirl the Batmobile slowly backed a few feet away from the prone Batman granting them access to him.

As soon as Robin and Batgirl freed Batman's body from the netting Alfred rushed to his side. With Robin's help he pulled Batman to the dark van and loaded him inside. While Robin kept a vigil outside , Alfred slid the door shut blocking off sight from potentially unfriendly eyes. Removing his concealing headgear he then turned on the van's internal lights and began to examine Batman.

"Master Bruce, can you hear me?" Alfred said loudly as he removed the cowl covering Batman's face, secure in the knowledge that the van was nearly soundproof.

Batman's body however made no reply.

"Is he?" Batgirl asked nearly in tears.

Alfred ignored the young woman for a moment to pull a nearly melted covering off a special port in the side of the Batsuit and plugged a cable into it from a machine. Flipping a few switches Alfred peered at the monitor built into the side of the machine.

"Master Bruce's heartbeat is regular and so is his breathing. He has some nasty electrical burns on him from where the batsuit's internal electrical insulation failed and he is of course unconscious but he should be okay."

Alfred replaced his covering hat and reaching up he turned off the van's lights and for good measure made sure he was blocking Batman's head from line of sight of the van door. Batgirl slid the side door of the van open and climbed out to report to Robin.

"Is he going to be okay?" Robin asked, never taking his eyes off of the surrounding buildings.

"He has some bad electrical burns on him and is unconscious but Al..." Batgirl stopped as Robin raised a warning hand. "Our friend says he should be fine."

"I'll bring in the Batmobile and you take your bike and set the other bike for autodrive to follow you back. Our friend will bring Batman along." Robin stated.

"What about Harley and Ivy and Joker?" Batgirl asked.

Robin stopped in the road. "Without Batman we haven't the faintest clue where to start looking. Harley and Ivy are on their own, at least until we can get Batman awake and find out what he knows." Seeing the concern on Batgirl's face for the two female criminals or at least for Harley, Robin softened the stern look he was wearing. "We can only hope that they are somewhere safe and we find them before The Joker does."

Batgirl finally nodded her head and went to get her bike.

Unbeknownst to Robin, Batgirl or even Alfred they were much closer to The Joker than they knew. Less than a mile away The Joker sat in a darkened warehouse, the only part of him visible was his ghastly smile and the mad shine of his eyes. Soon it would be time to open the portal and go retrieve his property and the naughty plant bitch that took it from him. They would both pay, and pay dearly.

The Joker's insane giggles could be heard and his henchmen moved farther away from their boss.


	15. Chapter 15

Harley wandered down the stairs looking for everyone. After the hot relaxing bath Sasami had retrieved another of Tenchi's clean long shirts for Harley to wear. Instead of dressing in the bathhouse area, Harley had went to the bathroom to dress. Harley wanted to fix her hair back in her typical pigtails and surprise Ivy; she remembered how much Ivy seemed to like her with that hairstyle. It wasn't that Harley was afraid she was losing Ivy's interest... It was more she was afraid that Ivy was bedying enthralled with Ryoko's beauty and charms.

"I mean it wouldn't be hard to do. I'm just your normal plain common blond. Ryoko has that magnificent mane of blue spiky hair and she used to be a space pirate too. How can a gal be expected to compete with that?" Harley muttered to herself as she headed down the stairs to the living room area.

Harley could see as she reached the bottom stair that Catwoman was draped in one of Ayeka's over long kimonos. Even though it must have happened when she was in the bathroom she could just mentally hear Sasami suggesting to her sister that Catwoman couldn't be expected to put her still wet costume back on and to loan one of her fancy royal dresses for her to wear.

Harley admired Catwoman for a moment. The light blue kimono trimmed with green looked good on her. The colors bringing out her rich black hair and beautiful eyes and since the kimono was lacking the elaborate undergarments that Ayeka always wore, it showed off her cleavage and allowed one long leg to peek out as Catwoman reclined on the couch. Catwoman was sitting on the couch talking to Washu, who was now back in her little girl form and Mihoshi. Sitting on the back of the couch next to Delilah was Ryo-ohki. Harley couldn't be sure but from here it sounded like they were discussing cats and cat genetics.

_"Big surprise there."_ Harley thought to herself with a grin. Looking around Harley tried to figure out where Ivy had gotten to. Hearing a very uncharacteristic feminine giggle from above, Harley glanced up to see Ryoko sitting on a cross beam near the ceiling and a twisting vine dying from a nearby window had Ivy sitting on it. Ivy appeared to be wearing a costume made of leaves and Harley knowing Ivy's way with plants decided it probably was. It covered all the parts of Ivy that needed to be covered but was still highly provocative. Ivy appeared to be hanging on Ryoko's every word and as Harley watched she once again giggled at something Ryoko had said.

_"Ivy ... giggles?"_Harley thought to herself in shock. "I've never heard Ivy giggle. Laugh maybe once or twice but never giggle." Harley could feel her heart sinking in her chest. She was losing Ivy to Ryoko and Harley knew there was no way she could compete. Turning she quietly entered the kitchen to keep Ivy from noticing she had seen her infatuation with Ryoko so she missed hearing the next part of Ryoko and Ivy's conversation.

"So..." Ryoko said. "You and Harley?"

Ivy nodded her head. "I've always desired her but figured she was too attached to Joker to ever notice me. It was a great surprise to find Harley has been interested in me too." Ivy searched the space pirate's face for a reaction. "That doesn't bother you does it? Two women interested in each other?"

Ryoko rolled her eyes. "Kid I've been from one end of space to the other. All that matters is finding the one you can love beyond all others and then doing whatever it takes to make it work." Ryoko's eyes grew soft. "That is why I'm still on this backwater planet. I found my Tenchi and I'll never give up till he realizes I'm the one for him."

"What of the others?" Ivy asked. "From what Harley told me they are all waiting for him to choose them too." Sure it was a bit insensitive but Ivy was never one to waste words.

Ryoko shrugged. "They'll never be able to convince my Tenchi and besides..." Ryoko shrugged her shoulders. "I've already suggested to Ayeka that I would be willing to share Tenchi as long as I could have him too."

Ivy blinked at her. Ryoko grin grew a little wicked. "You should have seen Ayeka's face when I suggested that. She turned literally purple with anger!" Ryoko imitated Ayeka's slightly high voice. "Lord Tenchi is not one of those loose moral men that would ever lower themselves to having a harem!" Ryoko broke off with a laugh. "Pompous idiot." She said referring to Ayeka. "Doesn't she realize that her own father has two wives? How would it be so different for Tenchi to have two or more wives?"

"Ayeka's father has two wives?" Ivy asked in surprise.

"Yeah it's a Jurai kind of thing. Royals especially are expected and even encouraged to have two or more wives. The women do most of the strategic planning of the household and government while the men are expected to just look commandingly." Ryoko said dismissively.

Harley sneaking into the kitchen could hear Ayeka talking to her sister Sasami as Sasami prepared lunch.

"Sasami I can't believe you suggested such a thing." Ayeka's high voice could be heard.

"Sister it is obvious how much Harley and Ivy are into each other. Ivy even explained to us how she shared her blood with Harley to save her." Sasami replied as if talking to a slow child as she chopped some vegetables.

"No doubt Ivy is only hanging around Harley because they were both criminals. Those types attract each other. I mean who else would have someone like Harley? A woman with a dark checkered past. " Ayeka said cruelly. She was still not convinced that Harley hadn't come back to this world to try and steal her Tenchi from her and she was unconsciously projecting her dislike of Ryoko onto Harley as well since Ryoko was also an ex-criminal.

Harley quietly slipped back out of the kitchen door before she could be seen. She knew Ayeka didn't really like her that much but was that what she really thought of her? That she was just a second choice of Ivy's because she was convenient?

Looking back up at the beam Ivy and Ryoko was sitting on; she could see the two women were leaning closer to one another as they talked in whispers.

_"Am I just a second choice? Damaged goods that Ivy allows to hang around her till she finds something better?"_ Harley thought to herself, her low self esteem dragging her down. Moving with the silence and skills that only someone who had to tip toe around a homicidal maniac like the Joker for years could master, Harley slipped out through the front door without anyone noticing.

Running as hard as she could Harley found herself back at the dock over the lake where she had entered this world so recently. Sitting down with her legs dangling over the edge she stared at her reflection in the water.

Harley silently stared at herself for a while before finally asking out loud. "Am I so worthless? Everyone leaves me sooner or later. My mother... My sister... Mr. J. Now even Ivy? Am I not good for anything to anyone?" Harley sobbed and watched as a few of her tears fell to distort her reflection on the water.

As the circles of distortions on the water calmed, Harley felt a tendril of fear run down her back. In the reflection of her over her shoulder was the face of the Joker.

"Harley gal, I've always thought to myself that you would make a perfect corpse." The Joker's chilling voice drifted on the wind to her.

_"Either I've finally jumped the tracks completely and lost it like the head __shrinkers__ in __Arkham__ always said I would or... Mr. J. is really behind me." _Harley thought in terror. _"Please let it be that I've gone totally __crackers__." _Harley added to herself as she started to ever so slowly turn her head to look behind her.

_"Shit." _Harley thought a moment later as she could see that the Joker was indeed standing just a few feet away from her on the dock. A scant few yards farther down the dock towards Tenchi's house she could see one of the huge rotund henchmen that the Joker had recently hired. They were two of them, brothers that always traveled together, the Pain Brothers. Joker's name for them was Punch and Judy. Looking past the Joker towards the other end of the dock she could see the other brother was slowly lowering himself from a black hole over the lake down a rope tied to the end of the dock. The Joker and two of his henchmen had followed her, Ivy and Catwoman from their dimension to Tenchi's world.

Harley slowly drew herself up and turned to face the Joker. Her movements were as slow and controlled as if she faced a King Cobra snake. In Harley's mind she was fervently wishing it was just a deadly snake she was facing than the three she was now. She didn't know Punch and Judy personally but she knew them by reputation. They liked to hurt women. Hurt them badly. Their particular expertise in abusing and mutilating women was one of the reasons that the Joker hired them. He found it sadistically amusing how the brothers always left their victims twisted into gruesome but to the Joker, artistic ways.

"Um, hi Mr. J." Harley managed to finally say as she faced the Joker head on.

"Is that all you have to say for yourself Harley gal? I come all this way to find you and return you to where you belong and I find you wearing that boy's shirt... Again I might add and all you can say is." The Joker raised his voice in an imitation of Harley's voice. "Hi Mr. J."

Harley wetted her dry lips nervously. One of the brothers, whether it was Punch or Judy Harley couldn't tell was blocking her exit towards Tenchi's house and the other one was blocking her exit to the black hole that would lead her back to Gotham and Joker was within striking distance of her. Her continued good health was not looking too good.

"Um, you are looking good Mr. J.?" Harley stated nervously as she tried to move back away from him a little more but found her heels were hanging over the edge of the dock.

The Joker smiled wide which Harley knew meant someone was going to die real soon and she had no illusions on which that someone was going to be.

"Well Harley if I look so good why don't you give your Puddin a great big hug?" The Joker asked opening his arms wide.

Harley's eyes shot to his glove covered hands. Sure enough both hands had one of his high voltage joy buzzers on them. Harley glanced over her shoulder at the lake behind her and mentally gauged the distance to the shore.

"I would love to Mr. J. but..." Harley started as she bent her legs at her knees and sprang backwards toward the lake. "Cajun styled Harley isn't my idea of fun." She finished as she twisted in midair to cleanly dive into the lake and began swimming towards the distant shore.

Harley while in college used to swim all the time and she had been really quite good at it. Not good enough to get into the Olympics maybe but she was a strong swimmer. Harley could only hope she was good enough to be able to get out of the water before the Joker could place his joy buzzers into the water and electrify the entire lake.

Nearing the edge of the shore she risked a quick look back over her shoulder. One of the Pain Brothers was racing along the dock to meet her as she got out of the water and the Joker was awkwardly lowering himself on the dock to try and reach down to touch the water. The level of the lake water was substantially lower than the dock causing him to strain. As Harley's hands hit the edge of the shore and she sprang forward into a handstand drawing herself free from the lake she could hear a sizzle as Joker's joy buzzers sent high voltage current running through the water. Dying out of her handstand/forward flip Harley found herself face to face with one of the Pain Brothers. The massively muscle bound man tried to close his arms into a bear hug to crush Harley but Harley reacted first with a swift kick to his groin. As the man with a grunt leaned forward Harley placed her hands on his shoulders and sprang boldly over him and literally ran down his back.

_"I said it once and I'll say it again..."_ Harley thought to herself. _"Ivy's blood is a wonderful thing."_ Harley knew without Ivy's enhanced strength or reflexes the blood flowing through her gave to her, she would have already been dead. Reaching a fork in the path Harley paused for just a moment. One way lead back towards Tenchi's house where Ivy and the rest were at and the other path lead up the mountain towards Tenchi's grandfather's shrine. She could find help at the house but she knew how Joker thought. He would use the bulk of the Pain Brothers to keep the others busy while he would go after Ivy himself.

The icy fear at not what only the Joker might do to Ivy but what one of those sadistic brothers might do if they got their hands on little Sasami helped Harley to make up her mind. With a look back to make sure all three were still following her, Harley raced up the mountain in the shrine's direction.

The two Pain Brothers lumbered after Harley while the Joker brought up the rear casually humming a tune. As Harley's foot hit the first of the many steps leading up to the shrine he burst into song and Harley could easily hear him.

She'll be dying round the mountainWhen she dies(Hoot, hoot!)She'll be dying round the mountainWhen she dies(hoot, hoot!)She'll be dying round the mountain,She'll be dying round the mountain,She'll be dying round the mountainWhen she dies(hoot, hoot!)She'll be divided into six white boxesWhen she dies(Whoa my back!)She'll be divided into six white boxesWhen she dies(Whoa my back!)She'll be divided into six white boxes,She'll be divided into six white boxes,She'll be divided into six white boxesWhen she dies(Whoa my back! hoot, hoot!)Oh, they'll all go out to cry over herWhen she dies(poor babe!)Oh, they'll all go out to cry over herWhen she dies(poor babe!)Oh, they'll all go out to cry over her,they'll all go out to cry over her,they'll all go out to cry over herWhen she dies(poor babe!Whoa my back! hoot, hoot!)She'll have red rosesWhen she dies(Scratch, scratch)She'll have red rosesWhen she dies(Scratch, scratch)She'll have red roses,She'll have red roses,She'll have red rosesWhen she dies(Scratch, scratch, Poor babe!Whoa my back! Hoot, hoot!)She will have to sleep with the fishesWhen she dies(they'll eat her toes!)She will have to sleep with the fishesWhen she dies(They'll eat her toes!)She will have to sleep with the fishes,She'll have to sleep with fishes,She will have to sleep with fishesWhen she dies(They'll eat her toes!Scratch, scratch, Poor babe!)

Reaching the top step, Harley turned to shout back down at the Joker. "You know your singing sucks as bad as your jokes!"

She ducked as a flying Joker card nearly cut her as it whizzed by.

Looking left and right Harley tried to decide which way to run. She knew the way left lead to the Shrine proper but she didn't know where the right path leads off to. She could try to play hide and seek inside the shrine as she waited for someone to miss her and for help to arrive but she doubted anyone would notice for a long time that she was gone and she didn't want the Pain Brothers to trash Tenchi's grandfather's shrine.

With a shrug Harley took a deep breath and started running towards the right.

Washu was enjoying having an intelligent conversation with the woman named Selina Kyle. It wasn't that her fellow residents at Tenchi's were idiots. They were all bright women in their own right.

_"Well I suppose even __Mihoshi__ has her days."_ Washu thought to herself. No it was that Selina or as she preferred to be called Catwoman was really quite observant and intelligent.

"Did you have any problems with negative regenerative genes crossing Ryo-ohki's rabbit D.N.A. with cat D.N.A.?" Selina asked.

"No, you might expect I would but the masu in the mix helped to reduce that problem. I could show you my lab if you would like?" Washu offered.

"You never offer to show me your lab." Mihoshi complained.

"I have trouble keeping you out of my lab Mihoshi!" Washu growled at her.

As Catwoman, Mihoshi and Washu started for the door that lead to her lab, the plant vine coming through the window lowered Ivy down. "I'm a bit of a scientist too. I would love to see your lab if I may?" Washu nodded her head and lead them all to her lab door. Sasami and Ayeka came out of the kitchen almost at the same time and joined them as well.

As the door to the lab materialized inside Washu's lab and the group entered the first sight to meet them was a strange looking cabbit dangling from what looked like a clock.

Washu frowned at the object. "Why is the alarm for the dimensional alert been activated?"

"You said you picked up Ivy, Catwoman and Harley's entrance earlier." Ayeka reminded her.

"That's true but I reset the alarm after it went off."

Harley breath came in pants as she dodged among the rocks she found herself in. Several long and fairly deep cuts from thrown Joker cards bleed freely leaving a trail the Pain Brothers and Joker were following. Even with Ivy's blood flowing in her veins Harley knew she was almost at her end. One long cut on her leg by a particularly well thrown card by the Joker had injured her enough for one of the Pain Brothers to get his hands on her, if only briefly.

He had thrown her hard against a rocky outcropping and Harley knew from the trouble she had breathing that he had managed to severely injure her ribs with that toss. The white shirt she was wearing of Tenchi's was torn in several places and stained with her blood where Joker's cards had scored hits. The only thing keeping Harley running was the look in the Pain Brother's eyes when they looked at her sweat soaked shirt sticking to her curves. She had a good idea what would happen if they got their hands on her and she would rather die first.

Having managed to get out of their sight for a moment Harley pulled back into a depression in the rocks and nearly cried out when she felt the surface behind her give way and she fell into a tunnel kind of thing. Looking up from the ground she could see what she had thought was a solid rock wall had a iron gate over it and it being unlocked it had swung open when she had leaned on it. Harley not wanting to be trapped in a cave or cavern started to climb back to her feet and get out before she could be trapped. Nearing the entrance she did cry out when the Joker's face suddenly appeared at the metal gate.

"Boo!" The Joker shouted and then laughed as Harley turned tail and raced back down the dark tunnel.

Washu's hands flew over the keyboard of her holo-computer.

"There is an active portal to your world over the lake where you three came in." She said over her shoulder to Ivy and Catwoman.

"Um, where is Harley?" Sasami's called out.

Washu turned and stared at the group at her back. Sure enough Harley wasn't among them.

"Maybe she went back to Gotham and ditched us?" Catwoman offered.

"She wouldn't do that. Harley is terrified of the Joker now and she wouldn't go back to where he is." Ivy said and then her eyes grew large. "If Harley didn't somehow manage to open that portal back to our world..."

Washu turned back to her keyboard and her fingers flew across it. "I don't pick up the Joker's energy signature anywhere around here but I can't find Harley's either."

"Maybe the Joker came through the portal and has already dragged Harley back?" Catwoman offered.

Washu studied her floating monitor. "That does not make sense. He would have closed the portal by now if he had done that." Washu snapped her fingers and again beeping noises were heard as she typed. Everyone looking over her shoulder could see blue lines tracing something on the monitor a moment later.

"There are no active traces but the energy signal leaves a kind of ghost effect. Here in blue we can see Harley's energy signature." Another key press and suddenly a bright red line covered over Harley's line. "This is the Joker's signature energy." Washu said grimly. Both trails led towards the cave Ryoko had been trapped in for many centuries till Tenchi had accidentally freed her.

"Of course. Ryoko's cave is shielded from scans. That is why it took so long for Kagato to find her." Washu muttered.

"Are you saying that the Joker has Harley trapped in some kind of cave?" Ivy asked.

"Yes. The energy signatures go into Ryoko's cave but they don't come out. He has Harley trapped inside there."

Harley dodged and ducked around the small cavern she found herself in. Luckily for her the entrance to the tunnels had been so small that the Pain Brothers with all their bulk couldn't get in but that hadn't stopped the Joker from coming in.

Harley dodged left as Joker threw a playing card to whiz past her but found that the Joker had been prepared for that move when he suddenly threw some brightly colored party streamers at her. The streamers that just looked like harmless lengths of brightly colored paper wrapped around Harley's body as soon as they touched. Within seconds Harley found herself bundled up tightly like some kind of colorful mummy.

The Joker admired his handy work. "What to do with you, what to do with you?" He muttered as he walked around the tied up Harley.

"Should I take you outside so the boys can have fun opening an early Christmas package?" He asked and watched as Harley shuddered.

"Or should I just seal you up in this cave? Leave you forever locked inside here to show my displeasure at you running away from me?" The Joker leaned close to Harley and caressed the side of her face. Harley with a look of revulsion pulled away as much as she could.

The Joker snapped his fingers. "I know what I can do! I'll send the boys down to that fool boy's house and have them bring everyone up here so you can see them... Oh not alive of course. Just what the boys leave after they have had their 'fun' time."

Harley's eyes widened in true terror. "No, please Mr. J. I'll do whatever you want just leave the others out of it! There must be something you want me to do?" Harley begged.

"Why yes Harley gal, there is something I want you to do. I want you to die." The Joker's smile ever present smile grew more evil looking. "I want to see you die in pain and agony so deep your soul cracks." The Joker shrugged. "That's not too much to ask is it?" He asked and started laughing.

The ever silent Pain Brothers standing at the entrance to the cave glanced at each other as the Joker's laughter reached them and they wished they could see what he was doing to the cute petite blond.


	16. Chapter 16

Harley and Ivy

Chapter 16

Batgirl nervously tapped on the large glass tube that a nearly naked Batman floated in, or should it be Bruce Wayne since he was not in costume at the moment? Batgirl was never quite sure which one to think of him as but since at the moment he was only covered in a black swimming trunk she preferred to think of him at this moment as Bruce Wayne. Seeing Batman in such a vulnerable light just made her feel nauseous.

"Are you sure he's okay?" She asked Alfred for about the hundredth time.

Alfred in perfect butler style was carefully preparing the damaged batsuit Batman had been wearing for destruction while laying out a new batsuit for when Bruce awoke from the treatment he was getting at that moment. "He's perfectly fine in there. As you can see he has a mask supplying him with breathable air while the highly oxygenated fluid he is immersed in helps to heal the damage that was done to him." Looking up from where he was working on a lower tier of the batcave he spotted batgirl tapping on the glass yet again. "Will you please stop that young lady? Did your parents never tell you not to tap on an aquarium? The fluid inside will magnify that noise you are doing and Master Bruce will wake with an even bigger headache that he probably has already."

Batgirl had the decency to jump back a little from the tube with a guilty look on her face. "Oops?"

Robin who was no less worried about Batman that Batgirl had been shook his head at her. "Batman almost did end up as fried batfish if the Joker's latest deathtrap hadn't failed. Thank heavens."

Alfred having finished with the costume preparation was walking back up to the higher level and paused next to the batmobile. "No need to thank the heavens Master Dick, thank the batmobile and its marvelous programming." Taking a cloth from his pocket Alfred wiped off an invisible speck of dust from its hood.

Batgirl allowed a brief grin to cross her face as mused that it seemed at times that Alfred lavished more attention of the batcave and its equipment than he did on the human occupants. If she were to mention such a thing she was sure the butler would either deny it or state the equipment needed looking after more as the human occupants could take care of themselves.

Her brief grin faded as Alfred climbed the stairs and joined her at the glass tube to look in on Bruce floating there. "Do you think the Joker has gotten his hands on Ivy and Harley yet?" She asked.

Robin leapt off the piece of equipment he had been lounging on and joined them. "I really can't understand why you are so concerned over those two. They are criminals you know?"

Batgirl glanced at him and then back to the glass tube. "Maybe but no one deserves what the Joker might do to them. Someone like Penguin or Riddler or even Mr. Freeze might harm someone, they might even go as far as kill someone but what the Joker might do? No one deserves that."

Robin reluctantly nodded his head. "But unfortunately there is nothing we can do about it. Batman was the only one to find out where Harley and Ivy might have gone to build that portal thing and without that knowledge we would be just on a wild goose chase looking for them."

"We could go to the hospital and ask Penguin what he told Batman?" Batgirl hopefully offered.

Robin gave a snort. "Doubtful he will talk to us. Batman has that whole intimidation thing going for him. I doubt Penguin would be all that frightened of us."

"Besides, Penguin is recuperating from the Joker venom. Even having been given the cure it is likely the hospital has him on sedatives. That blasted toxin the Joker uses puts a horrendous strain on the human body."

Batgirl in frustration turned from the glass tube and stalked over to a computer terminal. "I hate just waiting like this for Bruce to wake up. There is no telling how long it will take and every second is just that much longer the Joker might have torturing Harley or Ivy or maybe someone innocent. Batman wouldn't want us to waste time like this!"

Robin shrugged. "Maybe so but what would Batman do if things were reversed and one of us had information and was inside that thing and he couldn't ask us?"

Batgirl stared at the computer console in front of her. _"What would Batman being doing at this moment?" _She asked herself. "Is it possible someway to locate the energy the portal is using?" She asked out loud.

Robin looked thoughtful but then shook his head. "If they are using the power generator to power a portal it won't show up as a drain on the power grid." He pointed out.

Batgirl folded her arms in annoyance. "Okay, how about this then? Do we know how the portal thing worked in the first place?"

Alfred who had come up behind the two young people found himself getting interested in the puzzle as well. "Master Bruce compiled notes on the device before he allowed the police to remove it. We know what components were used in its makeup and how they went together if not the science on what allowed the machine to open a doorway to another dimension."

Batgirl smiled as her hands flew over a keyboard of the massive Batcomputer. "Okay then. Perhaps we can find something traceable we can follow to its source."

"Don't you think Batman tried that before going to Penguin to find out where the items his group stole were sent to?" Robin stated as he rolled his eyes at Batgirl and folded his arms in the same manner she had done a moment before.

Batgirl studied the diagrams on a screen before her. "Why this part is something I have never understood." She said pointing at the oversized rocking laughing carnival clown device. "I mean doesn't it just play a tape of annoying laughing and move?"

Alfred studied the screen. He was more than just a butler and in his service to Wayne/Batman he had picked up a great deal of engineering and electronic knowledge. "No, this device doesn't play a tape for the laughing sound effects but generated them via sound chips." Alfred sniffed delicately. "They can't make a decent automated coffee maker but they spend all the time and resources to make a trinket that can fake human laughter via sonics."

"That's it!" Batgirl yelled in triumphant as her fingers flew over the keyboard once again. Scrolling across the large central screen were reports of dogs howling and car alarms going off in certain parts of the city. Hitting a few more keys Batgirl turned the text reports into a map with the incidents and the times they were called in shown. Concentric rings appeared on the map radiating out from the warehouse district.

"Well yeah we suspected it is somewhere in there but where exactly?" Robin asked. "That's still a lot of ground to cover."

"But if the dogs can hear it…" Batgirl started.

"Then the instruments on our Batcycle can pick it up. Considering if Joker has done something stupid like leaving it on for us to trace." Robin agreed.

The two young crime fighters leapt to some nearby poles and slid down to the garage part of the batcave and raced off on their motorcycles.

"Oh dear." Alfred muttered. "I do hope they are ready to face the Joker and his henchmen without Batman with them."

* * *

A small car pulled up outside Tenchi's house and a few seconds later the doors opened to reveal Tenchi's father Nobuyuki, who had been driving and out of the passenger side his grandfather, Katsuhito and from the back seat, bracing himself for impact, Tenchi.

After a few moments of standing with his eyes closed tightly, Tenchi realized that no Ryoko had glomped onto him and there was no Mihoshi crashing into him or even a polite Ayeka to welcome him home. This was unusual to say the least. There was always someone watching for his return so they could be the first to welcome him back. Opening his eyes and took in the unnatural stillness of the area.

"Why do I have a bad feeling that something has happened?" He asked out loud.

"Indeed." His grandfather intoned. "And I believe it probably has something to do with that young woman Harley or the Joker returning from their dimension to our world again."

Tenchi's father turned to look in surprise and awe at the older man. "That's amazing grandfather and you got all that from just the fact the girls are not here to greet us?"

"That and there is a black hole hovering over our dock with a rope leading out of it." Katsuhito replied.

Turning both Tenchi and his father could see what the old man had spotted.

"It could be just one of Washu's experiments?" Nobuyuki asked.

At that exact moment the genius mentioned came out of Tenchi's house with a frazzled and slightly burnt looking Ryoko floating along beside her, trailing them both was the rest of Tenchi's household and a few he didn't recognize. "How many times do I have to tell you that my lab is shielded against your teleportation powers before you learn Ryoko?"

An annoyed Ryoko started to answer her but spotted Tenchi. "TENCHI!" She screamed and disappeared to reappear two inches from his face and grabbed him in a hug that nearly cracked some of his ribs. She released him almost immediately. "We've got trouble Tenchi. The Joker is back and he's got Harley,"

Looking over her shoulder Tenchi examined the two new people he didn't recognize. One was a tall woman with long black hair wearing one of Ayeka's kimonos and had a cat lying across her shoulder and the other was a redhead that was wearing what appeared to be nothing but large green leaves.

Ryoko looked to see where Tenchi was looking and said. "The one in the leaves is Pamela Isley and the one in Ayeka's old rags is Selina Kyle. They're friends of Harley she brought over with her."

Ivy looked over the teen standing next to a car. "That's Tenchi?" She whispered to Ayeka who happened to be standing next to her. She sniffed. "He doesn't look like much to me." Louder she said. "Can we go rescue Harley now before that demented freak clown harms her?"

"That's Lord Tenchi to you." Ayeka angrily tried to correct Ivy but it was obvious Ivy wasn't paying attention to her as she turned to head towards the stairs leading up to the shrine.

"It was this way, wasn't it?" Ivy asked over her shoulder to Washu as she prepared to run up the massive staircase to find Harley.

"I've got a faster way." Washu replied as her hands flew over her holographic computer and a moment later a portal of her own appeared floating in mid air. "We can't go directly into Ryoko's cave, even my technology can't overcome the shielding there but this will take us right outside of it." She had hardly got the words out before Ivy dove into the portal and was gone. Grabbing a hold of Tenchi once again Ryoko's teleportation noise was heard and both she and he were gone, Ryoko preferring to travel by her own means that trust Washu's inventions.

Mihoshi drawing her galaxy patrol blaster headed for the portal and stepped inside, only to reappear a moment later flying backwards. Before anyone could react a huge man stepped out of the portal. He was so tall and wide he had to practically duck to get through the portal and as soon as he cleared it another one stepped out.

"The Pain Brothers." Washu heard Catwoman hiss. Washu was a bit embarrassed to admit it but she hadn't thought to scan for anyone else's signatures except for Harley and the Joker and hadn't considered the killer clown would bring reinforcements of his own. Her embarrassment at what was fundamentally a very basic mistake had to be put on hold however as the two giants picked up Tenchi's father's car and hurled it in their direction. Washu along with everyone else leapt to the side and she practically growled as she saw her floating computer terminal smashed in mid air by the thrown projectile and the portal floating in mid air disappear with a soft pop.

At least for the moment, Tenchi, Ryoko and Poison Ivy were on their own against the Joker.

Nobuyuki after throwing himself to the side found himself next to Mihoshi and carefully lifting the blond woman's head into his lap he gently patted her face to see if she was conscious. Mihoshi opened her eyes with a dazed look. "What asteroid hit me?" She muttered.

One of the Pain Brothers having spotted Sasami lumbered in her direction. As he neared he licked his lips showing exactly what he was thinking of doing to the child once he got his hands on her. In the blink of an eye an angry Ayeka was between him and her little sister. "Don't even think of touching her! She is of royal blood you… You… Muscle bound miscreant!"

The huge mountain of a man didn't even blink but threw a mighty punch in Ayeka's direction. A punch that was stopped dead by tiny floating logs forming a force field between him and Ayeka. A loud sickening crunch was heard as the man's hand bent at an angle after coming into contact with the field.

"Serves you right for trying to attack a child." Ayeka with a smirk stated. A smirk that slipped off her face a moment later when the man without a wince on his face from breaking his hand opened his arms and encompassed the entire floating log force field in a bear hug and stood their straining. "Are you insane? This is a Jurian force field; there is no way you can…." Ayeka paused as the tiny logs started sparking and some of them actually broke causing the field to weaken. With her eyes large, Ayeka bent over and swept Sasami into her arms and sprang away as the field collapsed.

Apart from the others Katsuhito was facing the second Pain Brother. As the massive mountain of a man threw punches, Katsuhito leaned backwards or the side allowing the blows to breeze by him without contact. It was obvious from the grunting from the giant that he was becoming enraged on how the older man was so easily outclassing him. Finally in an act of desperation the giant threw his arms wide and leapt at Katsuhito hoping to catch him in a wrestler's hold and crush him.

Katsuhito in a leap that was beyond impressive leapt straight up and passed over the Pain Brother as he flew through the space that Katsuhito had occupied a moment earlier. Before the giant could recover his feet a wooden sword that no one could later say where Katsuhito had pulled it from smacked him in several places and with a groan the giant was felled.

The remaining Pain Brother having been foiled in his attempts to get to Sasami picked on the next closest person to him. Selina Kyle. Grabbing a trailing edge of the kimono she was wearing he nearly tore it from her body as he pulled her to him. With one large hand he nearly covered her entire head as he tried to squeeze the life out of her.

Having failed to fully wake Mihoshi, Nobuyuki pulled her away from the area of combat and raced to the young woman in troubles aid. It was a mark of his decency that he only paused for a moment when her kimono was ripped open and he got a close look of a sight that almost no man had ever witnessed before, Catwoman naked. With a shake of his head and a brief regret that he didn't have his camera with him; Nobuyuki raced over and stared up at the giant who was trying to crush the lovely woman's head. The giant looked down at Nobuyuki and it was plain that he was thinking, 'what do you plan to do little man?'

Hoping that even though the giant barely looked human, that he still might have normal weakness Nobuyuki suddenly stomped down hard on the giant's left foot. The mountain of a man grunted in pain and releasing Catwoman's head he began to hop on one foot all the while taking a swing at Nobuyuki.

With a hiss and a growl that sounded suspiciously like a drawn out meow, catwoman bounded to her feet and lashed out kicking the giant in his chest causing the over balanced behemoth to fall. Quickly closing her kimono up Catwoman turned to look at the man who had saved her from having her skull crushed. "Tenchi's father, right?" She asked.

Nobuyuki nodded his head and taking her hand he gave her his best smile. "And if I heard correctly your name is Selina? Such a lovely name." Hearing a growl they both looked over to see the giant regaining his feet.

"Let's hold off on the introductions till later?" Selina suggested.

Nobuyuki nodded his head and together him and Catwoman raced away from an obviously pissed off Pain Brother.

A loud groan was heard and then a solid whack sound of a wooden sword and the Pain Brother lying at Katsuhito's feet was once again out of the fight before he even really could get back into it.

The remaining Pain Brother chasing Nobuyuki and catwoman paused as, with high pitched whine sound, bolts from Mihoshi's blaster slammed into his back. The giant slowly turned and looked at Mihoshi as if she was a fly. The energy blasts only seemed to enrage the giant further.

"What is this thing?" A now conscious Mihoshi asked Washu who was standing next to her.

"A genetic throwback would be my guess. More muscle and brawn than brains, I doubt if he has high enough brain functions to even feel pain."

Mihoshi blinked and gulped as the giant started strolling towards them. "What should I do?"

Washu glanced over at her. "Don't let it get its hands on you?" She suggested.

"Waaaa." Mihoshi cried out as she turned and ran away. The Pain Brother didn't even bother with Washu and continued chasing Mihoshi out on to the dock over the lake. Mihoshi reaching the end of the dock prepared to jump into the water if she had to, to get away from the monster after her. Just as the giant was about to grab her and Mihoshi was forced to leap into the water, two people swinging on lines came out of the dark portal floating in midair and slammed into the giant knocking him off his feet to crash hard onto the dock behind him.

Batgirl and Robin landed on the dock beside Mihoshi.

The Pain Brother with a low growl rose to his feet to meet the new challenge when a shadow from above him caused him to look up. He only had time to mutter wha? As a huge stone statue of Buddha appeared in mid air and slammed down on top of his head driving him half way through the wooden planks of the dock pinning his arms.

Batgirl and Robin blinked their eyes at the strange sight and looking over spotted a short red headed girl standing at the land's edge of the dock holding a glowing a see through keyboard with her fingers resting on it. Washu threw them a smile and a wave.

* * *

Ivy leaping through the portal only had a moment's notice after clearing it to leap over the top of the first Pain Brother. Kicking off the giant's back she sprang at the next one, only dimly aware that her kick had propelled the first one towards the portal. Out of the corner of her eye she could see the one named Mihoshi coming out of the portal and running into him and the giant reacting immediately to smash a fist into Mihoshi throwing her back through the portal.

Seeing the second Pain Brother opening his arms to crush her, Ivy sent out a silent plea to the plants in the area to come to her rescue. A tree root suddenly exploded under the second Pain Brother's feet catching him in the crotch and causing him to stumble towards his brother. The collision caused both brothers to blunder into the portal and they were gone. Ivy for a split second worried about the others on the other side of the portal having to deal with the two massive henchmen of the Joker's but her concern was brief as she heard her name being screamed from a nearby cave. A scream obviously wrenched from Harley.

As Ivy leapt into the cave's entrance she thought she caught a glimpse of Ryoko and Tenchi appearing in mid air behind her but she couldn't wait to be sure. She had to get to Harley before the Joker could kill her. That was all that mattered.

The Joker strolled around Harley as he admired his handiwork. Finding a stalagmite, or was it a stalactite? The Joker never could keep straight in his mind which was which, he had tied Harley securely to it and then using one of his razor sharp Joker cards he had recovered from where he had thrown them at Harley earlier, he carefully cut away some of the streamers and the shirt that Harley was wearing to expose Harley's breasts. A stray beam of sunlight coming from a hole in the rocky ceiling above them almost acted as a spotlight as it shone down to highlight Harley's sweat slicked body as she squirmed to escape the Joker's eyes on her.

Taking his joy buzzers the Joker turned down the voltage on them till they were next to nothing and then started groping Harley's chest cruelly. Stopping every and now then the Joker would amp up the voltage on them. The Joker was playing a game you see. Just what would happen first? Harley would be electrocuted or break down and scream and beg for him to take her back to end the torment. He had gotten the voltage almost three quarters of the way back to lethal voltage when Harley could take it no longer and screamed in agony but instead of his name she screamed for that plant bitch.

The Joker hauled off and slapped Harley in the face for daring to call out for Ivy instead of him and was rewarded as electric current sparkled across her face not only bruising her face but burning it as well. Harley let out one more scream before her chin dropped to her chest as she lost consciousness.

The Joker laughed maniacally at her torment before hearing a noise caused him to turn to look at the entrance to the cavern they were in. What met his eyes was one very pissed off looking redhead dressed in leaves.

"Get away from her you freak!" Ivy hissed.

The Joker made a great pretense of looking around as if not sure who Ivy meant. "Oh do you mean her?" He asked reaching out a hand and grabbing Harley's right breast. A sizzling sound was heard as the joy buzzer pumped its current into Harley's quaking body and a moan was torn from the unconscious woman's throat.

"You bastard!" Ivy enraged beyond anything she had ever felt before growled as she leapt at him. The Joker swiftly cranked up the volume on his joy buzzers to maximum and as Ivy reached him he stepped to the side and slapped his hands on her back just above where the leaves covered it shocking her with the full extent of the voltage. Ivy shook a bit before falling to the cavern's floor unconscious.

The Joker managed to chuckle a few times before a blue blur slammed into him knocking him clear across the cavern to crash into a rocky wall. Blinking a few times the Joker managed to clear his vision and found Ryoko standing over him. It had been her that had slammed a fist into his face.

Over beside the unconscious Ivy and Harley, Tenchi was kneeling as he checked Ivy's pulse. "She's still alive but her back is badly burnt." He called out to Ryoko.

Ryoko looked down at the prone Joker and a chilling smile crossed her face as she punched one of her fists into her other hand.

The Joker quickly reached into his suit jacket and pulled out a pair of glasses and put them on. "You wouldn't hit a guy with glasses would you?" He asked.

A glowing rod appeared in Ryoko's hand and without saying a word she slashed downwards.

The glasses resting on the Joker's nose suddenly split and fell off to either side. Ryoko's light sword having split them without even touching his nose.

"I'll take that as a yes." The Joker decided. Reaching into another pocket he hurled a handful of confetti in Ryoko's direction, Ryoko expecting something lethal or at the very least unpleasant leapt backwards letting the, for a change, harmless confetti to drift to the floor.

The Joker laughing leapt to his feet and dove past Ryoko towards Tenchi, who was now holding his own glowing sword. Reaching into his seemingly never empty pockets, the Joker hurled a small glass marble containing his Joker gas at Tenchi.

Tenchi released one of his hands holding his sword and caught the marble instead of trying to intercept with the sword. "Not this time Joker. I maybe slow but I do learn from my mistakes."

The Joker who had been racing towards Tenchi pulled to a stop a few feet from him. "It would seem that I underestimated you." He said and then bowed. Tenchi only had a moment to realize that the Joker's jacket on his back was bunched up as if something was underneath it when a spring loaded punching glove shot out and caught him on the chin knocking him out.

"Tenchi!" Ryoko screamed as she flew across the room. The Joker spun on one heel and threw a small cube at Ryoko. The cube exploded a few feet away from her and more brightly colored streamers shot out. As they made contact with Ryoko they released a high voltage shock that caught her by surprise and knocked her out.

The Joker threw up his hands and silently slowly turned as if basking in applause that only he could hear.

* * *

Harley felt like hell. Every square inch of her body felt like it was on fire and the very effort of breathing seemed like torture. With a great deal of effort she managed to open her eyes. And suddenly she was sure that she had died and was in Hell for all the misdeeds she had done.

The Joker was standing triumphant over Tenchi and Ryoko's bodies and lying on the cavern floor just at her feet was an unconscious and defeated Ivy. Harley couldn't help it, she let out a defeated whimper and that was all it took to draw the sadistic clown's attention.

"Harley gal." The Joker cooed. "I'm glad you are awake. You are just in time to see me prepare your vegetables." The Joker said gesturing at Ivy. "And as all good cooks will tell you, before you fry your veggies you should always thinly slice them." So saying the Joker made a gesture and one of his razor sharp Joker cards slid into his hand from his jacket sleeve.

"NOOOO!" Harley screamed, which only made the Joker giggle but what did stop him was the sudden gloominess in the cavern. Pausing the Joker glanced up at the hole in the ceiling where sunlight had been coming from but saw that the hole was now partially blocked, blocked by a overly large plant root.

Before the Joker could react the plant root shot across the distance between them and slamming into him drove him across the room to a rocky wall and growing several smaller roots into the rocky wall pinned him there.

Peering around the root holding him, the Joker watched as the root grew a smaller root off the main trunk and lowering down started pulling on the streamers holding Harley captive. After a moment the streamers gave into the strength of the root and tore free dumping Harley to her knees next to Ivy. Harley wincing in pain took Ivy in her arms and with much grimacing and groans of pain managed to drag them both into the small circle of sunlight still streaming into the cave.

"Trying to get a tan?" Joker asked with a grin, a grin which turned to a frown as he noticed the burns on Harley's upturned face slowly start to fade as she basked in the sunlight. He could see that the burns on Ivy's back start to heal as well.

The pinned Joker's right hand slowly inched its way to a pocket. He had one last ace in the hole. His super concentrated herbicide formula that he had used on the tree back in the warehouse in Gotham. The game wasn't over yet. If he could get to it and spray the root holding him he would be free once again and facing an unconscious Ivy and still weak Harley he was sure he would have the last laugh. Reaching the jacket pocket he pulled a spray canister out and slowly started to bring it to bear on the root…

Only to have his hand stopped. Taking his eyes off Harley and Ivy he glanced towards his trapped hand only to find himself staring into golden eyes with a shock of blue hair above them.

"As my Tenchi said earlier…" Ryoko told him with a grim smile. "Not this time clown!"

Pulling back her other hand, Ryoko with a great deal of glee smashed it into the Joker's nose, knocking him out. As his hand relaxed Ryoko pulled the canister he had been about to use away and carefully sat it to the side. She had no idea what it was but she figured Washu could figure it out later.

Harley hearing the commotion glanced away from Ivy so missed it as Ivy opened her eyes and blinked. After seeing that the Joker was at least temporarily dealt with, she glanced back down to see Ivy looking up at her. Pulling the redhead to her chest Harley crushed her in a hug and started crying. "I was sure I lost you Ivy!"

Poison Ivy found herself with her face pressed tightly against Harley's bare breasts. While this would normally be something that Ivy would be quite happy and content with, the close proximity allowed Ivy to see the already healing electrical burns that practically covered Harley's breasts and filled her with rage towards the Joker who had caused them so she tried to pull away so she could deal with the clown.

Harley feeling Ivy tense up and trying to pull away from her jumped to the wrong conclusion.

Releasing Ivy, Harley's tears turned from happiness to one of utter misery. "Gee Red, I'm sorry. I should have realized. Um, thanks for coming to rescue me though. I do appreciate it." Harley mumbled as she stood up.

Ivy who had been glaring at the pinned to the wall Joker blinked in confusion as Harley started to stumble towards the exit to the cavern.

"I hope you and Ryoko will be happy." Harley whispered as she tried to leave the cavern. Before she could exit however an offshoot of the root shot across the room and wrapped around Harley's waist and gently but firmly pulled her back to where Ivy was now standing with her hands on her hips.

"Harley? What the heck are you talking about?" Ivy asked her in confusion.

Harley with tears streaming from her eyes making it hard for her to see stammered. "I know you want Ryoko and that I'm just a dirt plain common blond. It's okay. I understand I was just 'second choice' until something better comes along. I've always been someone's second choice. Really it's okay." Harley crying finally reached a level where she couldn't continue.

Ryoko standing next to Tenchi blinked. "You wanted me?" She asked Ivy.

"Well I will admit when I first met you I was attracted. You have a great body and being a space pirate and all." Ivy answered distractedly.

Tenchi subconsciously stepped closer to Ryoko as if to say, 'she's already taken'. A fact he didn't even realize but one that Ryoko most assuredly did.

"But there is only one person I've ever truly wanted." Ivy continued. "And I'm looking at her."

Blinking to clear the tears from her eyes Harley could see that Ivy was staring directly at her.

"Me?" She asked hopefully.

Ivy sighed. "Of course you! And what did I tell you about calling yourself a common blond? When I get you alone I really am going to spank you." Ivy stepped closer as the root released its hold on Harley's waist. "Slowly… With my bare hand." Ivy finished with a smirk.

Harley gulped.

"Oh will someone please just kill me now before all this lovely doveyness gets any deeper?" The Joker's voice called out breaking everyone's attention.

The Joker regretted his comment as three pissed off women's eyes turned towards him and even the farm boy looked like he was seriously considering the Joker's request.

"Eh. It's just a saying you know." The Joker added.

"Oh I don't know. Sounds like a damn fine idea to me." Ivy hissed. Harley and Ryoko nodded their heads.

"Um ladies we can't kill him…" Tenchi began but stopped as the women's glares were turned on him.

"That's right. You need to turn him over to us." A new person's voice called out. Turning everyone looked at the entrance to the cavern and found Washu, Mihoshi, a strange woman wearing a tight bat like costume and a young boy in a bright colorful costume standing.

"We'll take them back to our dimension where they will stand trial." The boy in the costume finished.

The girl in the bat costume turned to look at her companion. "Them? We can just take the Joker back." She stated.

Robin shook his head. "Harely and Ivy are still escaped criminals Batgirl. They have to go back too."

"No one is being taken back." Mihoshi stated in a firm voice. Everyone looked at her in surprise.

"I allowed it the first time but not again."

"Look I don't know who you are but we have our instructions." Robin said.

"And I don't know what kind of authorization you have back in your home dimension but you are not there now. I am a Galaxy Police officer and this is my jurisdiction. I let your Batman take the Joker and Harley Quinn back the first time as a courtesy to a fellow law enforcer but I was assured that the Joker wouldn't be back. He came back and his associates have destroyed earthly property, ie. Being Tenchi's father's car and attacked Jurian royalty, an esteemed scientist, not to mention assaulting a Galaxy Police officer. He and those two giants will face our justice system. As for Harley Quinn, Pamela Isley and Selina Kyle they have requested political asylum and until Tenchi, Ayeka or Sasami rule on it… They are staying." There was none of Mihoshi's usual flightiness or confusion about her at the moment. She was in full Galaxy Patrol mode and was not broking any arguments.

Even Washu was looking at her respectfully.

Robin glanced over at Batgirl in question.

Batgirl shrugged her shoulders. "Batman always says we have to obey the laws or we are no better than the criminals we bring in."

"What will happen to them?" Robin asked pointing with his thumb in the Joker's direction.

"Probably an even cushier mental asylum than Arkham." The Joker laughed.

"Jurian law does not recognize insanity as an excuse to commit crimes." Mihoshi said with a faint grin. "Destruction of private earth property? Minor penalty. Kidnapping, assault and torture of visiting people. Ie. Harley and Ivy. 30-40 years in a hard penal colony. Attempted assault and attempted murder of Jurian royalty…" Mihoshi smiled a grim smile. "That will be up to the Jurai crown to decide… And they don't take those kinds of things lightly at all."

"You can't leave me here!" The Joker yelled at Robin. "I demand to be taken back to Gotham and treated. I'm a sick person you know!"

Robin rubbed his forehead. "What would Batman say?" He asked out loud.

"I would say that we have to obey the laws of whatever dimension we are in. Mihoshi as an officer is well within her rights to demand that they be allowed to deal with the Joker and the Pain Brothers." Batman's deep voice answered him.

Everyone tuned to look at the quickly getting crowded cavern entrance and spotted a slightly limping Batman being assisted by Katsuhito on one side and Ayeka on the other.

"Batman!" Batgirl yelled happily and made her way to his side. "Are you okay?"

"I've felt better but I'm fine." He assured her.

"So we just leave them here?" Robin asked.

Batman nodded his head. "We leave them here."

"Batman! You can't leave me! We are two sides of a coin! You need me!" The Joker yelled out.

"I think you have confused yourself with Two Face, Joker and I most assuredly don't 'need' you." Batman stated as he turned to leave the cavern.

"Gotham will become boring without me!" Joker shouted as he struggled to get free from the root holding him to the wall.

"Looks like we'll just have to try and muddle through, won't we?" Batman replied as he gestured for Robin and Batgirl to leave with him.

"Batman!... Batman?" The Joker questioned as the Dark Knight didn't pause and along with Robin and Batgirl left the cavern.

* * *

Selina Kyle stood at the beginning of the dock as Batman, Robin and Batgirl talked to the others. She was staring at the floating portal at the end of the dock and thinking. Behind her she could hear Batman explaining that after his group crossed over back to Gotham that they planned to dismantle the portal generator and considering that both the Joker and Harley who knew how the thing worked and how to build it was staying in this dimension, it would be the last time anyone crossed from this dimension to Gotham's or vice a versa.

Sensing someone walking up beside her, Selina glanced over and saw that it was Batman.

"You are staying?" He asked.

"You are leaving?" She replied looking forward once again.

"You know I have to. Gotham is my home. Someone has to protect it."

Selina sighed. "Why does it have to be you? Look it is clean here and peaceful. Whoever you are behind that mask could settle down and never have to worry again about freaks getting lucky and killing you or your friends. You could be happy here." She took a deep breath. "We could be happy here?" She asked softly.

"I'd like that." Batman admitted just as softly. "But I can't. Gotham maybe losing Joker, Harley and Ivy but there are others out there. There will always be others out there and I can't live with myself if I knew I could save the innocent from them and just walked away."

Selina let a sad smile play across her face. "I noticed that you didn't put me on that list of the ones Gotham is losing."

"You never tried to harm someone deliberately." Batman pointed out. "That and I'm kind of still hoping you will come back with us. The Joker was right about one thing, it is going to be kind of boring in Gotham without you in it." He added as he turned to walk back to say his goodbyes to Tenchi and his grandfather.

Selina sniffed and angrily wiped at a tear in her eye. Sensing someone else walking up beside her she glanced over and then had to glance down when she noticed it was the diminutive scientist named Washu. Washu stood looking out over the water and after a moment Selina turned her gaze back as well.

"You want to go back don't you?" Washu asked after several moments.

Selina sighed. "It's just I don't know what I will do here. It may seem silly to you but back in Gotham I stole from the rich so I could provide a home for stray cats. I love cats. They are so much easier to understand than people. But that world is changing and it is getting harder and harder for anything to live. Here I can provide a safe place for cats but I can't do it in Gotham anymore."

Washu didn't reply for a moment. "I heard from Ivy and Harley how things are getting back in your home dimension and I've given plans to Batman for some devices that will actively clean the air and water of your world. He tells me he knows the right people to get the plans to and that he promises me he can get them in mass production in time to save his world."

Selina glanced down in surprise at the petite scientist and was surprised to see her holding a dark bundle in her arms. "What is that?" She asked.

"It's a costume I made based off the one you showed up here wearing, with a few modifications of my own of course." Washu said with a smile. "For instance I put in a camouflage circuit that will let you blend in with shadows and a bracelet on one wrist that if you press it will signal me in this dimension." Washu looked up at her with a twinkle in her eye. "Batman may dismantle the portal generator in your dimension but I still have mine. If an emergency comes up or you want to send some cats over here for safe keeping, signal me and I'll open a portal for you."

Selina looked at her in shock. "But…I'm a criminal. You know that, right?"

Washu let out a laugh. "Did Harley or Ivy not tell you? My daughter is Ryoko. She used to be a space pirate. A little thing like being on the wrong side of the law doesn't bother me as much as it might say some."

Selina took the costume from Washu and held it up to look at it. It did resemble her old one but maybe a little sleeker looking. "How did you know I was going to choose to go back to Gotham?" She asked.

Washu sighed. "I'm usually a good judge of character. Ivy and Harley? They have each other. I really believe that in a clean environment where she has plenty of room to experiment on her plants and with Harley with her, Ivy can be happy and give up her criminal life. And I think Harley as long as she has Ivy will be happy no matter what they are doing. But you? It is obvious to a genius like me that you care for two things above all else. Your cats and a certain tall dark guy that likes to dress up as a bat?"

Selina said nothing but taking the costume she walked away from the dock to where some trees were. When she stepped out from them again she was dressed as Catwoman. She was pleased to find that Washu had even included a coiled whip at her hip. She found inside the clothing a small manual that explained all the added 'extras' Washu had included and she couldn't wait to get back to Gotham and try some of them out.

As Catwoman walked back to the dock she spied Delilah sitting meowing at Ryo-ohki . "Come on Delilah, time to go." The cat meowed at Ryo-ohki one last time as if to say, 'see you again sometime' and then leapt up on to her mistress's shoulder

Batman walking up with the others checked out her new look. "So you are going back with us?"

Catwoman nodded her head.

"But Cats, I thought you wanted to stay here, with us?" Harley only a little sad sounding asked.

"Sorry Harley but this place looks too dull for my tastes. What can I say? I'm a city kind of cat. The rural life would just bore me to tears."

"Um does that mean we have to take her in?" Robin asked.

Batman frowned. "Well she is still a wanted criminal in Gotham…"

Catwoman smiled and leaned in towards him. "Before you can take me in…" She said as she neared closer enough to almost kiss him. "You'll have to catch me first." And with a laugh she turned and raced down the dock towards the floating portal. Reaching it she whipped her whip from its place on her hip and the end flew up into the black opening. Turning she blew a kiss in Batman's direction and the whip retracted pulling her up into the hole and she was gone.

"You know…That whip almost looked like one of your inventions Miss Washu." Ayeka stated turning to look at the scientist. Everyone glanced at Washu but she appeared completely unaffected.

"What was that Ayeka?" She asked innocently.

"Um nothing." Ayeka quickly added as she noted a gleam in Washu's eye that she knew from past experiences boded no one any good.

"Well we shouldn't let Catwoman get too much of a headstart on us." Batman stated.

Together with Robin and Batgirl they walked to the edge of the dock and started climbing up the ropes that were still hanging down from the portal as the sun in Tenchi's dimension started to set. Robin thought it was lucky that Catwoman hadn't thought to cut the ropes while Batgirl knew it wasn't an oversight on Catwoman's part but she had deliberately left them for Batman to use. Batman the last one up the ropes looked across one last time at where Ivy and Harley stood with their arms around each others' waists. He hoped he was doing the right thing leaving them in Tenchi's dimension and hoped that the two made the most of their new start. Turning to look farther down the lake's edge he spotted Mihoshi directing two Galaxy Patrol officers in heavy armor loading Joker and the Pain Brothers into a spacecraft to take them somewhere into space to stand trial for their crimes in this dimension.

Even though he hated and wondered at his own sanity, a small part of him knew the Joker was right. In an odd and not entirely healthy way, he was going to miss the psychopath, the hunt, the ridiculous death traps and really bad jokes but in the end it was a very tiny part of Batman's psyche and he hoped that the clown was going to be sent away for a very long time.

As the last of Batman's cape disappeared into the black hole in the sky, Tenchi and his group continued to watch. It was only when the black hole sucked into itself with a slight 'woop' noise that they finally turned away.

"Um what happens now?" Harley finally asked.

Washu stepped forward. "I Washu, the greatest scientist in the universe have created a miracle in modern building technology!" She handed Harley a small cube that resembled a puzzle cube. Harley turned the surprisingly light cube over and over in her hands.

"But what does it do?" She finally asked.

Washu glanced over at Katsuhito.

"The shrine lands extend much farther than just Tenchi's house and the shrine itself." The older man explained. "It contains the land on the other side of the mountain and Washu and I think a clearing just over the mountain would make a fine place for you and Ivy to start off your new lives together."

"You see the button on one side?" Washu asked Harley.

Harley turning the cube found the mentioned button and nodded her head.

"Take the cube and sit it down in the open space with the button side up and press it. Quickly step back about 20 yards and poof! Instant house, complete with furnishings and an attached greenhouse for Ivy to raise plants in."

Harley's eyes were gleaming with tears. Even Ivy seemed deeply touched. "Thank you Washu. I don't know how I will ever repay you or the others but I'll never stop trying!"

"Why not just go now." Ayeka almost nastily asked, wanting to get the strange women away from her Lord Tenchi.

Everyone shot her a glare and she had the decency to look embarrassed.

Washu summoned her holo laptop and pressed a few buttons. A glowing portal opened in front of the group. "What a lovely idea Ayeka. Let's all go and help them get settled in."

* * *

Katsuhito leaned on a railing of the shrine as he looked up at the full moon shining down. Once again strange happenings occurred around his grandson Tenchi and new people were added to the group but at least this time the two new women were not interested in the least in Tenchi and were staying in their own place.

Listening to the crickets chirping Katsuhito relaxed. Suddenly coming from just the other side of the mountain he heard Harley's voice calling out thick with passion. "Oh yeah Red…Yeah right…..Right there… OH YES PAMMY!!"

Katsuhito shook his head and wondered if it was too late in the night to go meditate under the nearby waterfall… The ice cold waterfall. As the sounds from Harley and Ivy continued, he also made a mental note to have Washu install sound proofing tomorrow on Harley and Ivy's new house.

The End.

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Author's note:

AAAAA

If anyone is still reading this, I'm sorry for the extra long delay in posting chapters. Writer's block and other story ideas popping into my head kept delaying this last chapter, but finally the story has reached its conclusion. There are a few areas I feel like didn't work too well and I'm sure there are some slips here and there but in the end, I'm happy with it. I doubt if any more stories will take place in this 'universe'. I wrote what I wanted to and I believe it is best to leave the rest of the story to the minds of the readers. You decide if Harley and Ivy live happily ever after or not and what the Joker and Pain Brothers punishment is.

Thanks for following me on this journey,

Weirdbard.


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